killoldyou
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2025
- Posts
- 169
- Reputation
- 171
This is half a lifefuel thread, half a confession thread.
I was born in a mid-conservative Eastern European country, in a middle-class family. My spawn point wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t ideal—not because of the country, but because I lived on the outskirts of the city.
Why was that bad? Because there were no other kids in my neighborhood. None.
Well, there were two. One lived with his grandma, but when she passed away at 11, he moved (he was my best friend). The other only stayed in the country for two months a year.
School started when I was 7, but I wasn’t eager to make friends—life had already trolled me.
My dad is an extreme extrovert, so he never taught me how to socialize. He assumed it would come naturally, like it did for him. My mom, on the other hand, is extremely introverted—she grew up poor as hell and focused on getting a good job, sacrificing social skills in the process.
At school, I couldn’t make friends because everyone else bonded outside of school. They all lived within 1 km of each other, took the bus together, and became friends. Meanwhile, I got picked up and went straight home.
I called up an old classmate and hung out for the first time ever. In 14 years, it was the first time I went out outside of school.
And it was awesome.
Seven hours of pure joy. That’s when I realized I actually like hanging out with people.
✔ Got friends (7 in total—way better than 0).
✔ Got rejected for the first time (I was still fat so got rejected, but hey, at least I made a move).
✔ Had my first real summer hanging out with friends—and loved every second of it.
PART 3: FUCKING UP MY LIFE AGAIN
I somehow managed to fuck my life up again in the 10th grade.
Gained some weight (was back to 68 kg wasn't much but still demotivated me)
Stopped going outside because of the demotivation(idk if its a word)
Started being a serial gooner again (not anime but still)
Started drinking again.
now fast forward to right now.
im in my last year of high school.
don't go out with friends much cause i feel like a piece of shit.
lonely, unmotivated, over 10% bf, drinking every 2 3 days, spend whole day in bed.
I have decided. I am going to go full on for the next month.
my day is going to be split in 8 hrs sleep 8 hrs school (skipping like 60% of my classes so like 3 hours of school and 5 of studying) 3 hours of working out (cardio mixed with martial arts training and human ability training (aka getting better grip, becoming faster etc) , 2 hours of becoming smarter (memory games, logic puzzles , books etc) and the rest into researching myself , my weaknesses and fears and how to overcome them.
WE CAN ALL DO IT. WE CAN BECOME BETTER
IF THIS MONTH DOESN'T AT LEAST MAKE ME HALF PRODUCTIVE SO I DONT FEEL LIKE A HUGE LOSER I WILL SIMPLY OVERWORK MYSELF FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS SAVE UP AS MUCH MONEY AS I CAN AND BECOME A NEET EATING CUP NOODLES PLAYING VIDEOGAMES WATCHING ANIME AND PAYING HOOKERS ALL DAY
Part 1: My Shitty Life (Mostly My Fault)
(Skip to Part 2 if you don’t want to read all this.)I was born in a mid-conservative Eastern European country, in a middle-class family. My spawn point wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t ideal—not because of the country, but because I lived on the outskirts of the city.
Why was that bad? Because there were no other kids in my neighborhood. None.
Well, there were two. One lived with his grandma, but when she passed away at 11, he moved (he was my best friend). The other only stayed in the country for two months a year.
School started when I was 7, but I wasn’t eager to make friends—life had already trolled me.
My dad is an extreme extrovert, so he never taught me how to socialize. He assumed it would come naturally, like it did for him. My mom, on the other hand, is extremely introverted—she grew up poor as hell and focused on getting a good job, sacrificing social skills in the process.
At school, I couldn’t make friends because everyone else bonded outside of school. They all lived within 1 km of each other, took the bus together, and became friends. Meanwhile, I got picked up and went straight home.
Fast forward to 14:
- I was fat (94 kg).
- Had 0 friends.
- Didn't realize when girls talked to me (literally missed two chances).
- Drank beer and energy drinks every day.
- Absolute weirdo—gooning to anime six times a day.
Part 2: The First Improvement
One day, I looked in the mirror and thought:That’s when I decided to change.
I called up an old classmate and hung out for the first time ever. In 14 years, it was the first time I went out outside of school.
And it was awesome.
Seven hours of pure joy. That’s when I realized I actually like hanging out with people.
Fast forward to the end of 9th grade:
✔ Lost weight (from 94 kg to 62-63 kg).✔ Got friends (7 in total—way better than 0).
✔ Got rejected for the first time (I was still fat so got rejected, but hey, at least I made a move).
✔ Had my first real summer hanging out with friends—and loved every second of it.
PART 3: FUCKING UP MY LIFE AGAIN
I somehow managed to fuck my life up again in the 10th grade.
Gained some weight (was back to 68 kg wasn't much but still demotivated me)
Stopped going outside because of the demotivation(idk if its a word)
Started being a serial gooner again (not anime but still)
Started drinking again.
now fast forward to right now.
im in my last year of high school.
don't go out with friends much cause i feel like a piece of shit.
lonely, unmotivated, over 10% bf, drinking every 2 3 days, spend whole day in bed.
I have decided. I am going to go full on for the next month.
my day is going to be split in 8 hrs sleep 8 hrs school (skipping like 60% of my classes so like 3 hours of school and 5 of studying) 3 hours of working out (cardio mixed with martial arts training and human ability training (aka getting better grip, becoming faster etc) , 2 hours of becoming smarter (memory games, logic puzzles , books etc) and the rest into researching myself , my weaknesses and fears and how to overcome them.
WE CAN ALL DO IT. WE CAN BECOME BETTER
IF THIS MONTH DOESN'T AT LEAST MAKE ME HALF PRODUCTIVE SO I DONT FEEL LIKE A HUGE LOSER I WILL SIMPLY OVERWORK MYSELF FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS SAVE UP AS MUCH MONEY AS I CAN AND BECOME A NEET EATING CUP NOODLES PLAYING VIDEOGAMES WATCHING ANIME AND PAYING HOOKERS ALL DAY
