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beefliverontop
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(warning: big thread)
So basically ive been eating healthy, like only meat, eggs, dairy, fruits, and some vegetables, and the only grain i eat is rice now
Ive tried multiple diets, carnivore (that just gave me anxiety), paleo, keto, Mediterranean diet.
Nothing fixes my problem.
Ive done all these things:
Good Diet
Lifting weights
Cardio (even had a weird mma phase where i was doing mma like 3x a week coupled with lifting for 2 months. But now i just do lifting and running for cardio)
Sleeping 6-8 hours
Meditating 3x a day (rn i dont meditate but i did it for like a year, helped a lil bit but not really)
I did journaling and cold showers and all those cope stuff rn i just take hot showers bc cold showers are big cope that lower test
What i do now? I just lift weights and run, eat a balanced diet, but no meditating and journaling bc it didnt help me only a lil bit but the difference was so small i still suffered alot from anxiety, depression and ADHD
despite doing all those things i suffer from:
Crazy anxiety
Depression
Emotional sensitivity (like i get sad really fast, im super insecure, you could say i have anger issues, and anything someone says to me even if its not true or im aware their joking like yk how ur friends make fun of u as a joke? Yea sometimes the shit they say sticks with me for a long time, one time a girl insulted me 4 months ago and i still think bout that shit every single day)
Suicidal thoughts (i even had my “ima go ER phase” once. I genuinely wanted to kill some niggas)
Autism (I have alot of autism, this also ruins my life. I dont like eating with my family because i hate hearing the sounds of them chewing, and they just burp all the time which disgusts me. You could make me starve for a week but if i eat with someone then and if that nigga burps? I lose all my appetite, I clean my hands multiple times even if im already clean, this is just one of the signs i have other signs but dont wanna make this thread too long)
IVE even HIT A GIRL ONCE LIKE A FULL ON SWING TO HER ARM Because she poked me with a pencil (she was flirting with me but i didnt notice at the time i thought she was bullying me or some shit, eventually 4 months later she admitted to having a crush on me)
I have never really cared, whats so funny is before all this blackpill and self
Improvement shit. Ive never really had these worries before. I never gave a fuck. I didnt show any signs of any mental ilness except autism before i started working out and eating healthy etc.
U would think when i used to be fat and play video games i was depressed but that was the PRIME of my life. Now despite being somewhat jacked, taller, and “improved” my self in ALOT of ways. It only got worse. Its ironic how since i discovered self improvement my life just got worse. but since puberty started its been getting worse and only worser. Its affecting my life and my friends, family. I hate everyone so much and i hate my self too
All these mental disorders i have make me suffer every single day ive had alot of suicidal thoughts ”. I mean do i feel better from changing my lifestyle? Yes, but doing better isnt exactly doing good
You can call me a little bitch for being so sensitive but ive tried everything yet i act like a female
should i call ma doc and ask her to check my blood?
So basically ive been eating healthy, like only meat, eggs, dairy, fruits, and some vegetables, and the only grain i eat is rice now
Ive tried multiple diets, carnivore (that just gave me anxiety), paleo, keto, Mediterranean diet.
Nothing fixes my problem.
Ive done all these things:
Good Diet
Lifting weights
Cardio (even had a weird mma phase where i was doing mma like 3x a week coupled with lifting for 2 months. But now i just do lifting and running for cardio)
Sleeping 6-8 hours
Meditating 3x a day (rn i dont meditate but i did it for like a year, helped a lil bit but not really)
I did journaling and cold showers and all those cope stuff rn i just take hot showers bc cold showers are big cope that lower test
What i do now? I just lift weights and run, eat a balanced diet, but no meditating and journaling bc it didnt help me only a lil bit but the difference was so small i still suffered alot from anxiety, depression and ADHD
despite doing all those things i suffer from:
Crazy anxiety
Depression
Emotional sensitivity (like i get sad really fast, im super insecure, you could say i have anger issues, and anything someone says to me even if its not true or im aware their joking like yk how ur friends make fun of u as a joke? Yea sometimes the shit they say sticks with me for a long time, one time a girl insulted me 4 months ago and i still think bout that shit every single day)
Suicidal thoughts (i even had my “ima go ER phase” once. I genuinely wanted to kill some niggas)
Autism (I have alot of autism, this also ruins my life. I dont like eating with my family because i hate hearing the sounds of them chewing, and they just burp all the time which disgusts me. You could make me starve for a week but if i eat with someone then and if that nigga burps? I lose all my appetite, I clean my hands multiple times even if im already clean, this is just one of the signs i have other signs but dont wanna make this thread too long)
IVE even HIT A GIRL ONCE LIKE A FULL ON SWING TO HER ARM Because she poked me with a pencil (she was flirting with me but i didnt notice at the time i thought she was bullying me or some shit, eventually 4 months later she admitted to having a crush on me)
I have never really cared, whats so funny is before all this blackpill and self
Improvement shit. Ive never really had these worries before. I never gave a fuck. I didnt show any signs of any mental ilness except autism before i started working out and eating healthy etc.
U would think when i used to be fat and play video games i was depressed but that was the PRIME of my life. Now despite being somewhat jacked, taller, and “improved” my self in ALOT of ways. It only got worse. Its ironic how since i discovered self improvement my life just got worse. but since puberty started its been getting worse and only worser. Its affecting my life and my friends, family. I hate everyone so much and i hate my self too
All these mental disorders i have make me suffer every single day ive had alot of suicidal thoughts ”. I mean do i feel better from changing my lifestyle? Yes, but doing better isnt exactly doing good
You can call me a little bitch for being so sensitive but ive tried everything yet i act like a female
should i call ma doc and ask her to check my blood?