I have PTSD from having no friends as a child/early teen

[Always Stay You]

When I was 12/13 I was especially lonely at school. At lunch period I would wander around the school looking for an empty classroom with the door unlocked that I could sit in and I hide.

I remember one day 12 year old me walking past a LTN who was 2 years older (but same height as me) sitting with a group of girls on the corridor floor and he made a remark mocking my appearance (even though I mogged him), and the girls were all laughing. It cut deep being completely invisible to girls, and only ever existing to them as something to be ridiculed when their faggot NT male friends brought attention to me.

I had no one in my corner to defend me and was too pussy and beaten down to defend myself so I just kept walking by them.

What's brutal is despite all my efforts since that I age, I have never really ascended past this time - I still don't have anyone in my corner and am still invisible.

I'm very close to throwing in the towel on this life. After surgery and fillers next summer + extreme lifestyle changes, if I am still invisible, friendless I'm giving up.

 

[sub5outsider]

people that tell you to be more social and go out are the same that were isolating you during your teen years

 

[nuisance]

Read Carl Jung's work

Get familiar with this model.

The only way to escape from abused dog syndrome is knowledge

 

[Always Stay You]

people that tell you to be more social and go out are the same that were isolating you during your teen years

Being more social is impossible. Obviously we wanna be more social so we have tried to befriend people many times but after enough rejections because of your NDness and bad looks you just give up.

 

[nuisance]

people that tell you to be more social and go out are the same that were isolating you during your teen years

The sad part is that unless you are completely subhuman, its your neurotic mind that isolated you

 

[Always Stay You]

The sad part is that unless you are completely subhuman, its your neurotic mind that isolated you

My brain has definitely been defective since a child - I can be well-mannered and friendly, but I can also be very monotone and flat and not really finding most normie jokes and conversations funny/interesting, although I try my best to partake in them.

People just seem to have no interest in me being a part of their life as a friend or anything past colleague/acquaintance. I'm genuinely invisible.

 

[nuisance]

My brain has definitely been defective since a child - I can be well-mannered and friendly, but I can also be very monotone and flat and not really finding most normie jokes and conversations funny/interesting, although I try my best to partake in them.

People just seem to have no interest in me being a part of their life as a friend or anything past colleague/acquaintance. I'm genuinely invisible.

It's fixable but you have to know how the human mind works first

One of my favorite examples is the one with the white elephant

When you tell someone not to think of a white elephant they think of a white elephant it's uncontrollable its both conscious and unconscious. The brain doesn't work differently regarding other aspects of your life.

If you genuinely believe you are a loser, everything you do will get fucked by both your unconscious and conscious.

I noticed you started the sentence with "my brain has been defective" so you belive that about yourself that's what you believe your "Self" is but its not its tainted by your ego. Your self is tainted by believing your are defective so your unconscious and conscious screws up the situations you are in.

You need to live like you are the opposite of your negatives in a way as strong as you believe now that you are defective.

Not just act like a new self but be a new self, and it takes knowledge on how to do that that's why I recommend you start with Carl Jung.

The neurotic mind might say this to this information "its just coping". But its really not, how do you know that your brain is defective, you really don't you just believe it to be like that without a doubt so that's how you interact with the world.

So instead of genuinely believing your are defective genuinely belive and live like the opposite. Its not faking it till you make it BTW its way deeper than that and it takes a lot of reading up on the mind on how to do it.

 

[Always Stay You]

It's fixable but you have to know how the human mind works first

One of my favorite examples is the one with the white elephant

When you tell someone not to think of a white elephant they think of a white elephant it's uncontrollable its both conscious and unconscious. The brain doesn't work differently regarding other aspects of your life.

If you genuinely believe you are a loser, everything you do will get fucked by both your unconscious and conscious.

I noticed you started the sentence with "my brain has been defective" so you belive that about yourself that's what you believe your "Self" is but its not its tainted by your ego. Your self is tainted by believing your are defective so your unconscious and conscious screws up the situations you are in.

You need to live like you are the opposite of your negatives in a way as strong as you believe now that you are defective.

Not just act like a new self but be a new self, and it takes knowledge on how to do that that's why I recommend you start with Carl Jung.

The neurotic mind might say this to this information "its just coping". But its really not, how do you know that your brain is defective, you really don't you just believe it to be like that without a doubt so that's how you interact with the world.

So instead of genuinely believing your are defective genuinely belive and live like the opposite. Its not faking it till you make it BTW its way deeper than that and it takes a lot of reading up on the mind on how to do it.

Thanks bud, I will look into it