W
WelcumToTheRealWorld
Lowest T levels on this site (345 ng/dl)
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2018
- Posts
- 345
- Reputation
- 405
You are extremely lucky to be average or above average. I'm fucked for life, something which hopefully won't be that long now. I even envy healthy incels. I have a slough of mental and physical health issues that make my life hell every day. If I were to write down all of it here it would take me a good half an hour. I don't get why I exist, why I was created by the universe. Was it just so that I could suffer? I don't get it, just why, why did it feel the need to create someone so innocent that has never harmed anyone, to suffer like this.
I can not recall a single good moment of my life, the closest I get is good dreams. In the real world I am trapped but when I dream I am free. I am free to do whatever I want. The world can't get me there. But even falling asleep is very hard for me. I have a retainer between my two front teeth that xut
cut my tounge, I have a constant pressure on my bladder which makes me need to pee all the time. I already had to lay for hours before I had these issues. When I ask my mom for guidance she tells me to go fuck myself and slams the door on me.
Yet, no matter how fucking tired I am I still have to wagecuck the next day. I feel like I'm gonna snap soon. There are moments where it would be so easy to just grab a knife and cut that bitches throat
open or disfigure her to make her suffer like me. But then I remember, she will suffer non the less. She will see her only normal offspring rot away before her very eyes either in a coffin or alive in front of her.
She can tell herself the cope that "oh he's just in a teenage phase, he's gonna turn out normal in the end". But that won't happen, she'll eventually realize just how fucked she really is. Her stupid primal brain will realize that her genetic lineage is fucking dead, it's over. She's completely and utterly fucked and there's absolutely nothing she can do about it. She's threatened suicide a bunch of times but I know that she's too much of a fucking pussy to actually do it.
And so she will rot, and she will lie on her deathbed realizing that she has brought nothing but suffering into this world and that in the end she has accomplished absolutely nothing. All her friends will have grandkids and even great grandkids and she will likely have a corpse and a severely mentally disabled child in a home somewhere.
If I'm honest with myself I don't think I'll be able to kill myself. I doubt it, but in the end I still fucking win. No matter how much this world fucks me, I still win. I will die one day and get my peace and there's nothing, absolutely fucking nothing this universe can do to stop it. No matter how much it fucks me I still win. And so I sometimes laugh to myself when I get that thought. It is completely powerless to my fate. It doesn't matter how much a pussy I am or how high inhib I am, one day I'll die and there's absolutely fucking nothing it can do about it.
Then I'll be free.
I can not recall a single good moment of my life, the closest I get is good dreams. In the real world I am trapped but when I dream I am free. I am free to do whatever I want. The world can't get me there. But even falling asleep is very hard for me. I have a retainer between my two front teeth that xut
cut my tounge, I have a constant pressure on my bladder which makes me need to pee all the time. I already had to lay for hours before I had these issues. When I ask my mom for guidance she tells me to go fuck myself and slams the door on me.
Yet, no matter how fucking tired I am I still have to wagecuck the next day. I feel like I'm gonna snap soon. There are moments where it would be so easy to just grab a knife and cut that bitches throat
open or disfigure her to make her suffer like me. But then I remember, she will suffer non the less. She will see her only normal offspring rot away before her very eyes either in a coffin or alive in front of her.
She can tell herself the cope that "oh he's just in a teenage phase, he's gonna turn out normal in the end". But that won't happen, she'll eventually realize just how fucked she really is. Her stupid primal brain will realize that her genetic lineage is fucking dead, it's over. She's completely and utterly fucked and there's absolutely nothing she can do about it. She's threatened suicide a bunch of times but I know that she's too much of a fucking pussy to actually do it.
And so she will rot, and she will lie on her deathbed realizing that she has brought nothing but suffering into this world and that in the end she has accomplished absolutely nothing. All her friends will have grandkids and even great grandkids and she will likely have a corpse and a severely mentally disabled child in a home somewhere.
If I'm honest with myself I don't think I'll be able to kill myself. I doubt it, but in the end I still fucking win. No matter how much this world fucks me, I still win. I will die one day and get my peace and there's nothing, absolutely fucking nothing this universe can do to stop it. No matter how much it fucks me I still win. And so I sometimes laugh to myself when I get that thought. It is completely powerless to my fate. It doesn't matter how much a pussy I am or how high inhib I am, one day I'll die and there's absolutely fucking nothing it can do about it.
Then I'll be free.
