I I’ve lost my love for my parents

7pumpkins

7pumpkins

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My father used to physically abuse me when I was younger as he used to be a huge drunk and once pretended to call the police on me because I accidentally slammed a door on my brothers finger (my father treats my brother as the golden child). This ended up giving me a huge panic attack and made me breakdown in my room crying. He’s not as bad now, (I stay with him after my parents divorce) but he’s a piece of shit and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for what he did that day and for many other bad days.

My mother cheated on my father and ended up using some of the money she got for surgery on his body. When I was younger, I caught her with another man in her bedroom and it made me cry alone in my bed, afraid to tell my father. I ended up telling him which fueled more to the fire as they already hated each other so I wouldn’t really consider me to be a man cause in my parents divorce.

I look back on these events now and I kinda realize why I’m lonely, depressed, and struggle talking with people (specifically with girls)

This is more of a vent post as I don’t really have anyone who would be willing to listen to me so yeah👍
 
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