ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
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I was sexually abused and trafficked, and sometimes I liked it. I didn’t want to and I tried not to, but I did. They would do awful and painful things to me, and yet I would like it. I would end up having orgasms to them abusing me.
They would do things to make orgasm over and over, and I would hate it and like it at the same time. They would purposely do things to make me orgasm over and over to see who could make me orgasm the most or how many times I could orgasm before it was too much for me. They would laugh and say they knew I wanted it when I orgasmed. Sometimes they would try to make me orgasm while actually hurting me, and then when I did, they would comment about how dirty and slutty I was. It was so humiliating.
It’s so confusing to me, why I would want something I hated. Sometimes I actually looked forward to it. I’m so ashamed of that. Sometimes I wonder if it was even that bad since I liked it, if I only really hate it now after the fact. I know I hated it then, but I just can’t wrap my brain around the fact that I actually wanted it sometimes. I feel like a freak.
(Sorry if I used the trigger warning wrong. I don’t know how to do it properly, so if it’s wrong just let me know and I’ll fix it in my post.)
They would do things to make orgasm over and over, and I would hate it and like it at the same time. They would purposely do things to make me orgasm over and over to see who could make me orgasm the most or how many times I could orgasm before it was too much for me. They would laugh and say they knew I wanted it when I orgasmed. Sometimes they would try to make me orgasm while actually hurting me, and then when I did, they would comment about how dirty and slutty I was. It was so humiliating.
It’s so confusing to me, why I would want something I hated. Sometimes I actually looked forward to it. I’m so ashamed of that. Sometimes I wonder if it was even that bad since I liked it, if I only really hate it now after the fact. I know I hated it then, but I just can’t wrap my brain around the fact that I actually wanted it sometimes. I feel like a freak.
(Sorry if I used the trigger warning wrong. I don’t know how to do it properly, so if it’s wrong just let me know and I’ll fix it in my post.)
