ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
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I dont know where to begin, currently everything just feels numb. unreal. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now we dated online for half of our relationship and eventually I moved across the country to live with him. So im trapped here, no friends, no family. I have no choice but to stay with him. The start of our relationship was perfect and he was everything I could have ever asked for up until 3 or 4 months ago something changed...I dont know what it was but he stopped communicating with me, he stopped giving me affection and started spending all his time playing video games while he demanded me to clean up after him and make him dinner, fetch him drinks etc. if I expressed that I missed the way he used to be he would get mad and yell at me.
It was around this time he introduced me to his best friend who we will call Dakota. we instantly hit it off and got along quite well. As I said earlier I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend so I didn't have any friends here, Dakota became my friend. When my boyfriend was being difficult or ignoring all of my needs Dakota was there to listen. He was my shoulder to cry on and I was thankful for him. My current mental state has made my memories fuzzy so its hard to pinpoint exactly how it started but we became flirty with eachother, I knew it was wrong but I wanted to feel some sort of love again.
I was a virgin due to being religious, my boyfriend knew I was a virgin and so did Dakota. One night when Dakota was over while my boyfriend worked a night shift and I got the night off we began to get touchy. This was the first time I had felt actual love, I felt a sense of security and saftey with Dakota. Despite my religion we ended up sleeping together because in that moment all I wanted was to feel the affection I longed for. My boyfriend never found out and to this day still thinks im a virgin.
A few weeks after I slept with Dakota he was working, its at this time I should mention he was a Native American and we live in a big city where he would often experience threats and racism. This particular day he was messaging me as he packed up the work site. He told me some girl was lingering around and he asked her to leave. He told me she seemed to be on drugs or at least not in the right mindset and was pretty pissed off she was asked to leave. He then told me she said she was going to go home, grab her gun and shoot him. she then left. As I said he experienced this stuff often so he didn't think much of it. He set down his phone to finish cleaning up and told me he would message when he returned home. hours passed and I never heard from him again. later that night his mom called my boyfriend and stated Dakota had been shot and had died. My world broke.
Even still things just feel so unreal. its been two weeks now, the funeral was yesterday. I dont know what to think. My boyfriend seems to have moved on pretty quickly and has gone back to his old self, barking orders at me while he sits on his ass. I dont even know how to express the feeling I have. This secret Dakota and I had was just burried away with him. Never to be spoken about again. He truly was special to me. He was my one way out of this place since I dont have the money to get back home or any other friends I could stay with. I loved him, I really did. Now I don't know what to do or what to think.
It was around this time he introduced me to his best friend who we will call Dakota. we instantly hit it off and got along quite well. As I said earlier I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend so I didn't have any friends here, Dakota became my friend. When my boyfriend was being difficult or ignoring all of my needs Dakota was there to listen. He was my shoulder to cry on and I was thankful for him. My current mental state has made my memories fuzzy so its hard to pinpoint exactly how it started but we became flirty with eachother, I knew it was wrong but I wanted to feel some sort of love again.
I was a virgin due to being religious, my boyfriend knew I was a virgin and so did Dakota. One night when Dakota was over while my boyfriend worked a night shift and I got the night off we began to get touchy. This was the first time I had felt actual love, I felt a sense of security and saftey with Dakota. Despite my religion we ended up sleeping together because in that moment all I wanted was to feel the affection I longed for. My boyfriend never found out and to this day still thinks im a virgin.
A few weeks after I slept with Dakota he was working, its at this time I should mention he was a Native American and we live in a big city where he would often experience threats and racism. This particular day he was messaging me as he packed up the work site. He told me some girl was lingering around and he asked her to leave. He told me she seemed to be on drugs or at least not in the right mindset and was pretty pissed off she was asked to leave. He then told me she said she was going to go home, grab her gun and shoot him. she then left. As I said he experienced this stuff often so he didn't think much of it. He set down his phone to finish cleaning up and told me he would message when he returned home. hours passed and I never heard from him again. later that night his mom called my boyfriend and stated Dakota had been shot and had died. My world broke.
Even still things just feel so unreal. its been two weeks now, the funeral was yesterday. I dont know what to think. My boyfriend seems to have moved on pretty quickly and has gone back to his old self, barking orders at me while he sits on his ass. I dont even know how to express the feeling I have. This secret Dakota and I had was just burried away with him. Never to be spoken about again. He truly was special to me. He was my one way out of this place since I dont have the money to get back home or any other friends I could stay with. I loved him, I really did. Now I don't know what to do or what to think.
