ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
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I don't know where to begin. I haven't slept, eaten or left the apartment for the last week. I feel like my fiance has died.
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. We met in university and fell in love. She is the most incredible and bravest woman I know. I want to build statues of her and tell the world how amazing and how gorgeous she is, and all she has done for me in supporting me to become who I am today in self, career, and happiness. She has been plagued by chronic illness, and through tears, gets herself up and into the gym, classroom, work etc. I love her. So, five months ago, I proposed to her. She was so happy and said, 'about time!'
We've been living in the same city as where we started and finished our degrees, but had been planning to move back to her parents and the coast where they live, 7 hours away, to start the next chapter of our lives. A month ago, she got the opportunity to transfer her job to where her parents live. So we immediately packed her up and sent her there. I, on the other hand, was still going through interviews for jobs down that way, and was having success. I finally landed one two weeks ago but they wouldn't require me for another month. I also have to stay and finish a in-person course I enrolled in that finishes in three weeks, and our lease on the apartment ends that time as well. Thankfully, we've done long distance before in uni over the summers when I stayed and worked part time while she spent time with family.
A month ago, however, something changed dramatically. Her sex drive went up. She wanted sex every night. She started to criticise my lack of ability to keep up and claimed I 'didn't desire her enough.' The pressure accumulated and my sex drive decreased. We talked about it, as we always had. We've always been an incredible team, and my favourite trait in her is her honesty. She tells me everything as it is (I don't like this trait anymore as you will see). We've always been equal in effort, but I decided to start doing more. I wrote her poetry, made art for her, took her running, and did more chores than she did. I wanted to help her know I love her. She started to say, 'oh now you feel like a room-mate or my best friend.' So I made her romantic dinners and tried to initiate sex. But then, 'now it feels forced.' She then had to leave for the coast, and she left in tears saying she'd miss me.
Two days after she arrived at her parents, I try calling her for a evening Facetime or digital date . She replies in text. 'I'm really happy to be here, and for the first time, I don't even miss you. I'm sorry. I don't want to talk tonight.' I was hurt and probed more. She pushed me away and so I left it for the day. A few days later, she tells me that she has reconnected with an old high school male friend. I play it cool, and say with cheek, 'I'm jealous of any time he gets with you.' A few days pass again with her showing zero signs of interest in me. Finally, she sends a barage of texts. 'I don't feel like I love you anymore. I feel so happy and free now. And I'm laughing so much with (male friend).' I panic. She tells me she can't help the way she feels and I should focus on my own life for now, and that she won't leave me. A night ago, she does it again. 'I just feel so horny all the time, and I love the way (male friend) looks at me. It's like an evil voice, and I'm so sorry it's happening. I never wanted this, but you didn't show me the desire I'm getting now. I want to have sex with him, and with other guys at my new job. But I can't because I'm with you, and now my evil voice in my head is telling me you're a burden.' I do all I can to understand her and work on it. 'You're just becoming annoying now. Please give me space.'
I'm in so much pain. I shake all the time. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I can't leave the apartment. And I have shifts lined up for the next two weeks, and a final in-person exam, and I cannot do anything about it! I'm stuck 7 hours away and nothing my fiance says makes sense. When she talks to me, it's like she's a whole different person. I love this woman so much and we have planned a whole life together, and were going to get married in a few years and have kids. I have spoken to her twin sister, and she too doesn't recognise her. And she is so angry at her for what she is doing.
What is happening?!
One thing I feel I should note, but I feel ashamed and disturbed to suggest it: a few days after we got engaged, she stopped taking her pill because of migraines it was causing her and she wanted to try feeling 'normal.' She has been on different types of birth control for the last 5 years. I've heard horror stories relating to hormonal changes like this. Please don't be true.
TLDR:
My fiance is completely different and now wants to be sexually 'free.'
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. We met in university and fell in love. She is the most incredible and bravest woman I know. I want to build statues of her and tell the world how amazing and how gorgeous she is, and all she has done for me in supporting me to become who I am today in self, career, and happiness. She has been plagued by chronic illness, and through tears, gets herself up and into the gym, classroom, work etc. I love her. So, five months ago, I proposed to her. She was so happy and said, 'about time!'
We've been living in the same city as where we started and finished our degrees, but had been planning to move back to her parents and the coast where they live, 7 hours away, to start the next chapter of our lives. A month ago, she got the opportunity to transfer her job to where her parents live. So we immediately packed her up and sent her there. I, on the other hand, was still going through interviews for jobs down that way, and was having success. I finally landed one two weeks ago but they wouldn't require me for another month. I also have to stay and finish a in-person course I enrolled in that finishes in three weeks, and our lease on the apartment ends that time as well. Thankfully, we've done long distance before in uni over the summers when I stayed and worked part time while she spent time with family.
A month ago, however, something changed dramatically. Her sex drive went up. She wanted sex every night. She started to criticise my lack of ability to keep up and claimed I 'didn't desire her enough.' The pressure accumulated and my sex drive decreased. We talked about it, as we always had. We've always been an incredible team, and my favourite trait in her is her honesty. She tells me everything as it is (I don't like this trait anymore as you will see). We've always been equal in effort, but I decided to start doing more. I wrote her poetry, made art for her, took her running, and did more chores than she did. I wanted to help her know I love her. She started to say, 'oh now you feel like a room-mate or my best friend.' So I made her romantic dinners and tried to initiate sex. But then, 'now it feels forced.' She then had to leave for the coast, and she left in tears saying she'd miss me.
Two days after she arrived at her parents, I try calling her for a evening Facetime or digital date . She replies in text. 'I'm really happy to be here, and for the first time, I don't even miss you. I'm sorry. I don't want to talk tonight.' I was hurt and probed more. She pushed me away and so I left it for the day. A few days later, she tells me that she has reconnected with an old high school male friend. I play it cool, and say with cheek, 'I'm jealous of any time he gets with you.' A few days pass again with her showing zero signs of interest in me. Finally, she sends a barage of texts. 'I don't feel like I love you anymore. I feel so happy and free now. And I'm laughing so much with (male friend).' I panic. She tells me she can't help the way she feels and I should focus on my own life for now, and that she won't leave me. A night ago, she does it again. 'I just feel so horny all the time, and I love the way (male friend) looks at me. It's like an evil voice, and I'm so sorry it's happening. I never wanted this, but you didn't show me the desire I'm getting now. I want to have sex with him, and with other guys at my new job. But I can't because I'm with you, and now my evil voice in my head is telling me you're a burden.' I do all I can to understand her and work on it. 'You're just becoming annoying now. Please give me space.'
I'm in so much pain. I shake all the time. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I can't leave the apartment. And I have shifts lined up for the next two weeks, and a final in-person exam, and I cannot do anything about it! I'm stuck 7 hours away and nothing my fiance says makes sense. When she talks to me, it's like she's a whole different person. I love this woman so much and we have planned a whole life together, and were going to get married in a few years and have kids. I have spoken to her twin sister, and she too doesn't recognise her. And she is so angry at her for what she is doing.
What is happening?!
One thing I feel I should note, but I feel ashamed and disturbed to suggest it: a few days after we got engaged, she stopped taking her pill because of migraines it was causing her and she wanted to try feeling 'normal.' She has been on different types of birth control for the last 5 years. I've heard horror stories relating to hormonal changes like this. Please don't be true.
TLDR:
My fiance is completely different and now wants to be sexually 'free.'
