I need social advice about friendship

[Jesus_ist_König]

I dont wanna be alone. But then at the same time when I think of meeting some1 from my school or anybody I know, I then dont wanna meet. I have no interest in any1 I know, but still I dont wanna b alone. And chatting online also doesnt full fill me cuz then I have screen time of 12 hours (happened in the past) daily and wont do nothing. I dont know what to do

 

[Clqs]

You already have God as your friend, you don't need anyone else

Or do you mean to tell me God himself isn't good enough for you?

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

You already have God as your friend, you don't need anyone else

Or do you mean to tell me God himself isn't good enough for you?

I wrestle with that always. There is a quote from a Saint "He who has God on his mind wont even in the depths of desert feel lonely", yet I just feel lonely. I know that I shouldnt feel lonely, yet I do feel lonely. I enjoy being alone, but I hate it when im lonely.

In the bible it also says smth about "No man should be alone, and have a wife" or smth, yet I dunno, that means that u need earthly love to not feel alone but that a little heretical. I talked to my priest and he told me to pray to God but then I said that its boring to pray as long as u would talk to a friend, since God doesnt respond with words.

Perfect scenario for me: I make an irl friend and then I write with him or her via phone and we dont really meet. I like interacting with ppl to not feel lonely, yet i hate irl social interaction. Its so boring and robs me energy and makes me nervous (probably cuz im short and subhuman). The ppl I know ghost me or dont respond or dont like me. I dont know what to do

 

[Clqs]

I wrestle with that always. There is a quote from a Saint "He who has God on his mind wont even in the depths of desert feel lonely", yet I just feel lonely. I know that I shouldnt feel lonely, yet I do feel lonely. I enjoy being alone, but I hate it when im lonely.

In the bible it also says smth about "No man should be alone, and have a wife" or smth, yet I dunno, that means that u need earthly love to not feel alone but that a little heretical. I talked to my priest and he told me to pray to God but then I said that its boring to pray as long as u would talk to a friend, since God doesnt respond with words.

Perfect scenario for me: I make an irl friend and then I write with him or her via phone and we dont really meet. I like interacting with ppl to not feel lonely, yet i hate irl social interaction. Its so boring and robs me energy and makes me nervous (probably cuz im short and subhuman). The ppl I know ghost me or dont respond or dont like me. I dont know what to do

I'm not reading that

 

[Frizbreeze]

honestly, get off your phone, go talk to people in your school and have a hangout at your place or theirs, no reason to go hangout at a mall or something if you don't wanna b seen in front of people. Also go to the gym because you can meet great people there and they'll prolly b ur friend too. Depending on your age I wouldn't stress too much about it, but always remember that connections are key in life, everyone that has gotten rich/high status had connections. You need to be social even if it's the death of you.

 

[deadroses]

Just got to put yourself out there to meet kind people, push away the negative ones, find new hobbies, and start more conversations

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

honestly, get off your phone, go talk to people in your school and have a hangout at your place or theirs, no reason to go hangout at a mall or something if you don't wanna b seen in front of people. Also go to the gym because you can meet great people there and they'll prolly b ur friend too. Depending on your age I wouldn't stress too much about it, but always remember that connections are key in life, everyone that has gotten rich/high status had connections. You need to be social even if it's the death of you.

The last time I met some1 was around 5 months ago. I invited him to go gym. We went to the gym for 1 hour and then I send him home, since my social battery was drained. After that I thought that meeting ppl is stupid, since after only 30 minutes or so I cant anymore and then any interaction over 30 minutes or 1 hour is so boring and I hate it, it makes me suffer and nervous and stuff. Thats why I stopped meeting ppl but I also dont meet since ppl dont like me and leave me. Im never ever gunna go to places with a lot of ppl.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

Just got to put yourself out there to meet kind people, push away the negative ones, find new hobbies, and start more conversations

"If ur homeless just buy a house" i cant do it

 

[Monsieur Charismeur]

I dont wanna be alone. But then at the same time when I think of meeting some1 from my school or anybody I know, I then dont wanna meet. I have no interest in any1 I know, but still I dont wanna b alone. And chatting online also doesnt full fill me cuz then I have screen time of 12 hours (happened in the past) daily and wont do nothing. I dont know what to do

U need to also make the effort to reach out also sounds like you're struggling with environment, you'll eventually meet your introvert homie but in the process you'll learn to speak to everyone and it won't be that hard

 

[Frizbreeze]

The last time I met some1 was around 5 months ago. I invited him to go gym. We went to the gym for 1 hour and then I send him home, since my social battery was drained. After that I thought that meeting ppl is stupid, since after only 30 minutes or so I cant anymore and then any interaction over 30 minutes or 1 hour is so boring and I hate it, it makes me suffer and nervous and stuff. Thats why I stopped meeting ppl but I also dont meet since ppl dont like me and leave me. Im never ever gunna go to places with a lot of ppl.

totally reasonable and I get that, honestly u might feel more connected if u have female friends, js never get a liking for them though or else that will fuck you over. But quite frankly you might just be an introverted person and that's okay. I can see you're a devout christian so i must remind you that jesus said "everyone is thy neighbour" or sum shit like that ion completely rmb. Anywho, just try your best, take baby steps; and eventually your social anxiety will b gone.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

U need to also make the effort to reach out also sounds like you're struggling with environment

wdym environment? I kinda lost hope in making effort since all ppl tell negative stuff about me. The only ones that tell normal stuff about me, are the ones that have not interacted/known me

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

totally reasonable and I get that, honestly u might feel more connected if u have female friends, js never get a liking for them though or else that will fuck you over. But quite frankly you might just be an introverted person and that's okay. I can see you're a devout christian so i must remind you that jesus said "everyone is thy neighbour" or sum shit like that ion completely rmb. Anywho, just try your best, take baby steps; and eventually your social anxiety will b gone.

Where do it start?

 

[holyltn777]

"If ur homeless just buy a house" i cant do it

But you, like a Homeless Person, can make efforts, he to earn Money, you to develop socialization. It will not fall on you from above, it is the same skill as working at a machine tool, etc., and therefore it needs to be developed. Without constant communication, you will remain alone.

 

[Frizbreeze]

Where do it start?

Matthew 22:36-40​

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

Matthew 22:36-40​

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I dont love myself. I dont get what ur tryna say? But i really appreciate the effort

 

[Frizbreeze]

I dont love myself. I dont get what ur tryna say? But i really appreciate the effort

Brother no the passage is just saying love everyone; so basically b friendly and talk to everyone as well. If your lord says it's one of THE BIGGEST commandments, then you should do anything to follow it; that's the type of mindset I'm telling you to have.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

But you, like a Homeless Person, can make efforts, he to earn Money, you to develop socialization. It will not fall on you from above, it is the same skill as working at a machine tool, etc., and therefore it needs to be developed. Without constant communication, you will remain alone.

In the past every1 left me after knowing me. Its just the temporal feeling of having friends.
My problem is:
1. I have limited social battery
2. ppl dont even like me

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

Brother no the passage is just saying love everyone; so basically b friendly and talk to everyone as well. If your lord says it's one of THE BIGGEST commandments, then you should do anything to follow it; that's the type of mindset I'm telling you to have.

I will do that. But will that give me friends?

 

[Monsieur Charismeur]

wdym environment? I kinda lost hope in making effort since all ppl tell negative stuff about me. The only ones that tell normal stuff about me, are the ones that have not interacted/known me

Environment. Your school, job, etc. U need to be in good energy areas that have like minded ppl as yourself. Don't worry about people who talk shit Abt u, they're just projecting. I'm very proper and have etiquette irl but some ppl still talk bad Abt me they're just projecting

 

[holyltn777]

In the past every1 left me after knowing me. Its just the temporal feeling of having friends.
My problem is:
1. I have limited social battery
2. ppl dont even like me

Well, you'll never have many friends, that's just a rhetorical statement. Find people who are similar in interest and try to communicate with them about the topics you love

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

screen time of 12 hours (happened in the past)

Happening in the present for me.
I get what you mean.
(You orgbrahs are goated )

 

[Frizbreeze]

I will do that. But will that give me friends?

People like being around people that make them feel better about themselves; it will 100% give you friends. Go out to your school; strike up a conversation with someone, then give them a genuine compliment on something you like about them. You'll see that they get a dopamine release from this and their brain will associate you with dopamine. Over time you'll see people talking to you more and surrounding themselves around you. But don't overly do it, also crack some "mean" jokes from time to time (basically the hot cold method). They'll deem you as unpredictable and like being around you. I promise you this will work.

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

honestly, get off your phone, go talk to people in your school

Bro.
"Just do that"
Yeah that shit isn't easy.
It's extremely hard for some of us.
Some of us don't even know where to start.

 

[Frizbreeze]

Bro.
"Just do that"
Yeah that shit isn't easy.
It's extremely hard for some of us.
Some of us don't even know where to start.

look at what I said after that; that's just entry level advice and it works for people that are just nervous to be around others. If you think of friendships like a trade deal, for people that think it's "extremely hard" it will become very simple. Life is all about interactions and trades, we can't sustain life without someone losing or gaining something; think of everything as a trade and you'll eventually become the most social man alive.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

Well, you'll never have many friends, that's just a rhetorical statement. Find people who are similar in interest and try to communicate with them about the topics you love

There is no one with similar interests thats why every1 is boring

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

Happening in the present for me.
I get what you mean.
(You orgbrahs are goated )

Yes, from dopamine hit (talking to ppl and making friends) to getting blocked and then a new dopamine hit. Its a never ending cycle.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

People like being around people that make them feel better about themselves; it will 100% give you friends. Go out to your school; strike up a conversation with someone, then give them a genuine compliment on something you like about them. You'll see that they get a dopamine release from this and their brain will associate you with dopamine. Over time you'll see people talking to you more and surrounding themselves around you. But don't overly do it, also crack some "mean" jokes from time to time (basically the hot cold method). They'll deem you as unpredictable and like being around you. I promise you this will work.

Okay, I talk with ppl in class and they talk with me, but Im not intersted in meeting them. They are to boring to meet they dont have the same interest as I do. And they probably will say no.
Last year they were going away from me when I came. A week ago i asked some1 if he wants to meet (from my school) and he didnt respond.
Its either them not liking me, me not being interested in them. I never fit in

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

Bro.
"Just do that"
Yeah that shit isn't easy.
It's extremely hard for some of us.
Some of us don't even know where to start.

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Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I wanna have friends

 

[Frizbreeze]

Okay, I talk with ppl in class and they talk with me, but Im not intersted in meeting them. They are to boring to meet they dont have the same interest as I do. And they probably will say no.
Last year they were going away from me when I came. A week ago i asked some1 if he wants to meet (from my school) and he didnt respond.
Its either them not liking me, me not being interested in them. I never fit in

or maybe your guy's interests aren't similar, don't just ask to hangout immediately; they don't even know what you like, neither do you know what they like. Instead ask him if he wants to play games tg; that way you can have a conversation with him - leave any time you want, and find out his interests. He'll also like you if you aren't retarded and sped and will want to hangout if you ask.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

or maybe your guy's interests aren't similar, don't just ask to hangout immediately; they don't even know what you like, neither do you know what they like. Instead ask him if he wants to play games tg; that way you can have a conversation with him - leave any time you want, and find out his interests. He'll also like you if you aren't retarded and sped and will want to hangout if you ask.

He came new to the school im in. After one week already, he asked me to hangout, yet I declined with saying im introverted. He asked me maybe 2 times more after that.
Why did I decline:
1. As I said my social battery is small
2. I knew he would leave me after knowing me. I wanted to enjoy the time we talk in school atleast, for if we would have met, he would have despised me and then we wouldnt talk

Now one week ago I asked the same guy via whatsapp, he didnt respond. Then I did a survey format "do u wanna do... yes/no" he selected none and 2 days after I heard him asking another guy if he wanna hang out. He didnt wanna meet me cuz he doesnt like me. We talk in school/class yet I know that im unimportant to him.

 

[Frizbreeze]

He came new to the school im in. After one week already, he asked me to hangout, yet I declined with saying im introverted. He asked me maybe 2 times more after that.
Why did I decline:
1. As I said my social battery is small
2. I knew he would leave me after knowing me. I wanted to enjoy the time we talk in school atleast, for if we would have met, he would have despised me and then we wouldnt talk

Now one week ago I asked the same guy via whatsapp, he didnt respond. Then I did a survey format "do u wanna do... yes/no" he selected none and 2 days after I heard him asking another guy if he wanna hang out. He didnt wanna meet me cuz he doesnt like me. We talk in school/class yet I know that im unimportant to him.

no nigga it's cs u rejected him twice, and now he js associates you with rejection. No one wants to feel rejected; even you as I can tell from what you're saying. Literally just apologize for the last two times saying you were busy and say you wanna make it up to him. If he doesn't accept it then that means he literally just doesn't like you anymore only because you rejected him. Even if your social battery is small you need to push yourself to increase it, the more you isolate yourself the harder it's going to be for you to increase your social battery. Apologize to him sooner than later; and don't just strike up a conversation by saying you're sorry. Actually talk to him first (small talk), then when there's nothing else to say, say something along the lines of: "Hey, look man I'm sorry about the last two times we couldn't hangout, I was just really busy at the time and I knew I couldn't make it, so I didn't say sure to raise your hopes or anything. We can do something maybe this week or the next if you're free? I'm not too busy so I'd be down to do something with you; you're a pretty chill guy icl" Last part is not necessary but it would help.

 

[Regular Doomer]

brojack is right, go out always, do not neglet having friends and friendship, everyone that does it ends up really bad in life and they destroy temselves too hard

do not be a retarded that follow "muh lonely wolf" "muh solitude" bullshit, go out with friends, do stuff that you like, never be alone, you can do that at home 90% of the time already, enjoy when you can socialize at least try it out

 

[Frizbreeze]

no nigga it's cs u rejected him twice, and now he js associates you with rejection. No one wants to feel rejected; even you as I can tell from what you're saying. Literally just apologize for the last two times saying you were busy and say you wanna make it up to him. If he doesn't accept it then that means he literally just doesn't like you anymore only because you rejected him. Even if your social battery is small you need to push yourself to increase it, the more you isolate yourself the harder it's going to be for you to increase your social battery. Apologize to him sooner than later; and don't just strike up a conversation by saying you're sorry. Actually talk to him first (small talk), then when there's nothing else to say, say something along the lines of: "Hey, look man I'm sorry about the last two times we couldn't hangout, I was just really busy at the time and I knew I couldn't make it, so I didn't say sure to raise your hopes or anything. We can do something maybe this week or the next if you're free? I'm not too busy so I'd be down to do something with you; you're a pretty chill guy icl" Last part is not necessary but it would help.

I forgot to mention, do this IRL so that he feels like he needs to make a decision right then and there it will increase your chances by atleast 60%

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

no nigga it's cs u rejected him twice, and now he js associates you with rejection. No one wants to feel rejected; even you as I can tell from what you're saying. Literally just apologize for the last two times saying you were busy and say you wanna make it up to him. If he doesn't accept it then that means he literally just doesn't like you anymore only because you rejected him. Even if your social battery is small you need to push yourself to increase it, the more you isolate yourself the harder it's going to be for you to increase your social battery. Apologize to him sooner than later; and don't just strike up a conversation by saying you're sorry. Actually talk to him first (small talk), then when there's nothing else to say, say something along the lines of: "Hey, look man I'm sorry about the last two times we couldn't hangout, I was just really busy at the time and I knew I couldn't make it, so I didn't say sure to raise your hopes or anything. We can do something maybe this week or the next if you're free? I'm not too busy so I'd be down to do something with you; you're a pretty chill guy icl" Last part is not necessary but it would help.

I talk to him often in school and we kinda get along and still he declined me, I asked him 2 times already. And he knows that I didnt just decline I told him that i dont like social interaction and he knows that very well, yet he still declined.

If I would have accepted his offer then I wouldnt be able to talk to him in school

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

I forgot to mention, do this IRL so that he feels like he needs to make a decision right then and there it will increase your chances by atleast 60%

I know that from the past and I hate it. ppl only hanged out with me to not be rude, nobody wanted to hang out with me.