I need to attend AA meetings for self aggrandising addiction

[6ft4]

It's like a hidden addiction which I don't know if I'll ever be able to kick
I say it's hidden because nobody I know in my regular personal life is aware of it
Like a gambler who gambles in secret without his family finding out
Other PSLers who I know in my personal life are aware of it but they're sentient enough whereby they can read one of my self aggrandising threads without having a reaction to it the way a normie would

The fact that PSLers I know in my personal life may stumble upon my threads does set a limit to my self aggrandising though because if I was to go too overboard with praise for myself they would start thinking I'm delusional and may lose respect for my sentience and ability to process reality

You could say it's the equivalent of a gambling addict who has friends who understand gambling who he can talk about his major bets with, but if he was to talk about trying to borrow 10s of thousands to chase recent loses they would probably start to take a step back from association or think the geezer is fucked

 

[ashmeer]

ohio dnr

 

[ashmeer]

ohio dnr

do read very good thread

 

[i cant lie cant lie]

did you post any personal info here? like feces, etc.

 

[whitecelcoper]

Never knew that's a real addiction. I hope it gets better though bhai

 

[i cant lie cant lie]

did you post any personal info here? like feces, etc.

nigga wtf Im eant face

 

[ashmeer]

nigga wtf Im eant face

whos that in ur avi

 

[i cant lie cant lie]

whos that in ur avi

go to my profile and ask there

 

[MoggerGaston]

addiction is a symptom. The mental illness that causes it sits deeper.
(Although you shouldn't you compare yourself to addicted-normies who are low-sentient and addicted to feelings, like nicotine brings, etc.)

Recently I have come to accept c-ptsd as something I am dealing with. (complex post-traumatic-stress-disorder). Largely resulting from parental child-abuse.

My own loophole is:
1)Living a decent life.
2)Not enjoying it. (due to c-ptsd)
3)Thinking the reason I am not feeling good is because I am not good enough. Need to self-improve.
4)Self-improve and get an even better life, but still not enjoying it despite effort and achieving goals.
5)Crash and burn.

I am stuck in this loophole and there's nothing I can do.
I think parental child-abuse has destroyed my brain in the sense that I am a very functional adult, I am better than most people in everything, yet I get 0 enjoyment out of life, I am constantly dissapointed in myself and life.

I don't even think there's anything that can fix something like this, but maybe your reason for addiction can be cured in some way?!

 

[6ft4]

addiction is a symptom. The mental illness that causes it sits deeper.
(Although you shouldn't you compare yourself to addicted-normies who are low-sentient and addicted to feelings, like nicotine brings, etc.)

Recently I have come to accept c-ptsd as something I am dealing with. (complex post-traumatic-stress-disorder). Largely resulting from parental child-abuse.

My own loophole is:
1)Living a decent life.
2)Not enjoying it. (due to c-ptsd)
3)Thinking the reason I am not feeling good is because I am not good enough. Need to self-improve.
4)Self-improve and get an even better life, but still not enjoying it despite effort and achieving goals.
5)Crash and burn.

I am stuck in this loophole and there's nothing I can do.
I think parental child-abuse has destroyed my brain in the sense that I am a very functional adult, I am better than most people in everything, yet I get 0 enjoyment out of life, I am constantly dissapointed in myself and life.

I don't even think there's anything that can fix something like this, but maybe your reason for addiction can be cured in some way?!

I just want to say this thread was made as a joke
Yes there are likely psychological factors at play for why I get a kick out of praising myself for random people online to see but it's not exactly something that's a burden on my life that I need to cure myself of

With regards your situation, it's unfortunate if having a good life can't allow you to feel better
I haven't gotten my life to the stage yet where I can tell if success will fill the void I'm feeling
My assumption all of my life has been that when I achieve my goals and "make it" in life, that's when I will start to feel peace and contentment

 

[MoggerGaston]

I haven't gotten my life to the stage yet where I can tell if success will fill the void I'm feeling
My assumption all of my life has been that when I achieve my goals and "make it" in life, that's when I will start to feel peace and contentment

This what you just wrote here just proves to me that you are also suffering from mental-illness.

You hate your current life.
You think being better in the future can fix it.
Loop.

'I am trying to fix my life so that I can be happy'
this mindset is ultra-toxic. Because it inherently means that you are trash, and perhaps in the future you can be better.

This is very similar to the loop I have, I don't know how to get out of this either

 

[infini]

I’ve never gambled but guessed it’s similar to investing when investing doesn’t hit the same. Or drinking without the hangover, regret and constant piss-breaks.