i need to feel alive, but i can't

[PeakIncels]

im so lost, I go to sleep wake up, school, or work, and feel so empty, but also have this feeling of fear, somehow, my body is almost self conscious that I'm wasting my life(weirdo) by making me feel this terrible

the anxiety i get sometimes in the early morning when i walk out, it's actually so gut wrenching

the only times i feel alive, is by punishing myself, either sh or starving, and stupidly enough that's the only way i can feel genuinely alive, or clean, free, even

especially clean, it feels like every burden, problem, is just off my shoulders, even if it's for just a few minutes, ff f I'm so fucked up I'm actually so ashamed of myself

 

[PeakIncels]

b

 

[hollowlight]

im so lost, I go to sleep wake up, school, or work, and feel so empty, but also have this feeling of fear, somehow, my body is almost self conscious that I'm wasting my life(weirdo) by making me feel this terrible

the anxiety i get sometimes in the early morning when i walk out, it's actually so gut wrenching

the only times i feel alive, is by punishing myself, either sh or starving, and stupidly enough that's the only way i can feel genuinely alive, or clean, free, even

especially clean, it feels like every burden, problem, is just off my shoulders, even if it's for just a few minutes, ff f I'm so fucked up I'm actually so ashamed of myself

I feel so bad for u man hopefully things get better for you soon, stop blaming urself for everything

 

[PeakIncels]

I feel so bad for u man hopefully things get better for you soon, stop blaming urself for everything

I'm bringing this on myself

 

[PSLbbc]

im so lost, I go to sleep wake up, school, or work, and feel so empty, but also have this feeling of fear, somehow, my body is almost self conscious that I'm wasting my life(weirdo) by making me feel this terrible

the anxiety i get sometimes in the early morning when i walk out, it's actually so gut wrenching

the only times i feel alive, is by punishing myself, either sh or starving, and stupidly enough that's the only way i can feel genuinely alive, or clean, free, even

especially clean, it feels like every burden, problem, is just off my shoulders, even if it's for just a few minutes, ff f I'm so fucked up I'm actually so ashamed of myself

Go to the rapist

 

[hollowlight]

I'm bringing this on myself

everything will be okay man, if it's in ur control u dont need to worry, if it's not let it go and move on

 

[crazyguy]

im so lost, I go to sleep wake up, school, or work, and feel so empty, but also have this feeling of fear, somehow, my body is almost self conscious that I'm wasting my life(weirdo) by making me feel this terrible

the anxiety i get sometimes in the early morning when i walk out, it's actually so gut wrenching

the only times i feel alive, is by punishing myself, either sh or starving, and stupidly enough that's the only way i can feel genuinely alive, or clean, free, even

especially clean, it feels like every burden, problem, is just off my shoulders, even if it's for just a few minutes, ff f I'm so fucked up I'm actually so ashamed of myself

i feel the same way. i feel like im wasting my years and i feel a hole in my chest constantly when thinking about it. its similar to nausea but it's more soul crushing.

i have never done sh or starved myself, but i think that youre feeling some sort of peace when you do it, its probably like an escape from your misery, isnt it?

 

[BrutalMogger]

all roads lead to stims

 

[Linus1888]

Try magic mushrooms.

Start microdosing it can genuinenly change your life.
Look into it, it has cured depression for many

 

[PeakIncels]

i feel the same way. i feel like im wasting my years and i feel a hole in my chest constantly when thinking about it. its similar to nausea but it's more soul crushing.

i have never done sh or starved myself, but i think that youre feeling some sort of peace when you do it, its probably like an escape from your misery, isnt it?

its a distraction, but also escape, if you want to define it one

 

[existingandliving]

Same though one thing that i find working for me is socializing and spending most time with like-minded people

 

[PeakIncels]

Same though one thing that i find working for me is socializing and spending most time with like-minded people

good luck trying to find that

 

[crazyguy]

its a distraction, but also escape, if you want to define it one

do you have any hobbies that work as a distraction too?

 

[Diamond Dave]

 

[existingandliving]

Just join local groups, like I like football so i pull up to random pick up games and shit I also like reading so i go to libraries and often you'll find people you find interesting you just gotta have the courage to approach and start a conversation.

good luck trying to find that

 

[PeakIncels]

do you have any hobbies that work as a distraction too?

games ig, i used to draw and paint a lot too, but i just idk, stopped over time, now my 'healthy' ones are smoking and watching media/animes, imagine being this low

 

[v8zen]

Try magic mushrooms.

Start microdosing it can genuinenly change your life.
Look into it, it has cured depression for many

I second this, be careful and do research if you do decide to do this. I've done phycs a few times and they have made me hate my self a bit less

 

[Linus1888]

I second this, be careful and do research if you do decide to do this. I've done phycs a few times and they have made me hate my self a bit less

Mushrooms don’t have much of a risk factor.

I’ve never taken crazy doses but for me it just made me giga horny and worked like Viagra. Slight hallucinations and laughing

 

[crazyguy]

games ig, i used to draw and paint a lot too, but i just idk, stopped over time, now my 'healthy' ones are smoking and watching media/animes, imagine being this low

gaming, smoking and watching anime is healthier than starving/self harm. you should try to get back into drawing n painting though, its good to express yourself through art. i wont tell you to stop smoking cigs because theyre most likely really needed for you to get thru the day

 

[PeakIncels]

gaming, smoking and watching anime is healthier than starving/self harm. you should try to get back into drawing n painting though, its good to express yourself through art. i wont tell you to stop smoking cigs because theyre most likely really needed for you to get thru the day

i wish i could get back into it, but i don't have much money to buy the necessary resources and equipment, considering my old one is...old, but even then, with a new one, i don't think I'd have the same passion, yes, i need to smoke or i might go crazy

 

[fluxx]

im so lost, I go to sleep wake up, school, or work, and feel so empty, but also have this feeling of fear, somehow, my body is almost self conscious that I'm wasting my life(weirdo) by making me feel this terrible

the anxiety i get sometimes in the early morning when i walk out, it's actually so gut wrenching

the only times i feel alive, is by punishing myself, either sh or starving, and stupidly enough that's the only way i can feel genuinely alive, or clean, free, even

especially clean, it feels like every burden, problem, is just off my shoulders, even if it's for just a few minutes, ff f I'm so fucked up I'm actually so ashamed of myself

how do you sh?

 

[PeakIncels]

how do you sh?

blade, cut, or like spring around the wrist yk

 

[fluxx]

blade, cut, or like spring around the wrist yk

how often do you do it?

 

[PeakIncels]

how often do you do it?

not as much as you think, maybe 2-3 times a week, i don't want to risk any infections, that's why I'm careful with it

 

[fluxx]

not as much as you think, maybe 2-3 times a week, i don't want to risk any infections, that's why I'm careful with it

can you pm me the pic of your scars
idk if that appropriate to ask but im really interested

 

[PeakIncels]

can you pm me the pic of your scars
idk if that appropriate to ask but im really interested

sorry but no, I'm already ashamed of them enough

 

[fluxx]

sorry but no, I'm already ashamed of them enough

i get it, but if you need help or someone to talk to im here
i wish u well and try to be happy

 

[PeakIncels]

i get it, but if you need help or someone to talk to im here
i wish u well and try to be happy

tyty

 

[crazyguy]

i wish i could get back into it, but i don't have much money to buy the necessary resources and equipment, considering my old one is...old, but even then, with a new one, i don't think I'd have the same passion, yes, i need to smoke or i might go crazy

your goal should be to reduce how much you harm yourself by distracting yourself with those hobbies. youve said that you cut yourself 2-3 times a week. try to reduce it from 3 times to 2. once you succeed, try reducing it to once a week, then once every 2 weeks and so on.

by the time you reach winter, it'll hopefully be once a month at max. since it's your favorite season, it really would hit different if youve managed to stop harming yourself before the winter.

 

[v8zen]

Mushrooms don’t have much of a risk factor.

I’ve never taken crazy doses but for me it just made me giga horny and worked like Viagra. Slight hallucinations and laughing

Im talking more about medium-high doses. Especially at higher doses you can kinda lose sense of reality which isnt fun at all

 

[Linus1888]

Im talking more about medium-high doses. Especially at higher doses you can kinda lose sense of reality which isnt fun at all

Markos Once and when I looking to the Mirror it was like a, seen Another Person for me. Really cool experience.

 

[Prøphet]

Nigga are you me?

Except sh instead I just distract myself from my own life through escapism

 

[Prøphet]

i feel the same way. i feel like im wasting my years and i feel a hole in my chest constantly when thinking about it. its similar to nausea but it's more soul crushing.

i have never done sh or starved myself, but i think that youre feeling some sort of peace when you do it, its probably like an escape from your misery, isnt it?

Literally me

 

[FiendFiend]

im so lost, I go to sleep wake up, school, or work, and feel so empty, but also have this feeling of fear, somehow, my body is almost self conscious that I'm wasting my life(weirdo) by making me feel this terrible

the anxiety i get sometimes in the early morning when i walk out, it's actually so gut wrenching

the only times i feel alive, is by punishing myself, either sh or starving, and stupidly enough that's the only way i can feel genuinely alive, or clean, free, even

especially clean, it feels like every burden, problem, is just off my shoulders, even if it's for just a few minutes, ff f I'm so fucked up I'm actually so ashamed of myself

literally me @iblamemandible7

 

[FiendFiend]

Literally me

LMFAOO CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP

Literally me

 

[FiendFiend]

Nigga are you me?

Except sh instead I just distract myself from my own life through escapism

Ima try meds see what it does, if it works ill hook u up cuz we have same shit. Ima just be a test subject for this shit

 

[Prøphet]

View attachment 4117236

Caging at ts

 

[Prøphet]

Ima try meds see what it does, if it works ill hook u up cuz we have same shit. Ima just be a test subject for this shit

Bet bro lmk

Idk if there’s a medication in the world that will truly fix this though, at least for me I think my issues are a result of my circumstances, if I had a better situation I wouldn’t feel and act this way, no way out of ts except going into it and setting everything straight, all we need is something to low inhib max like phenibut to take action

 

[FiendFiend]

Bet bro lmk

Idk if there’s a medication in the world that will truly fix this though, at least for me I think my issues are a result of my circumstances, if I had a better situation I wouldn’t feel and act this way, no way out of ts except going into it and setting everything straight, all we need is something to low inhib max like phenibut to take action

nah not really. its quite genetical.

My dad is a loner with no friends, he isnt ugly at all bro mogs me to oblivion, apperantly always feels people are staring at him, starting fights with him, nigga just constantly wears sunglasses at any opportunity to avoid eye contact, he would crash out on pakistani workers randomly and cuss them out.

Im happy im not high t and with that anxiety i'd be crashing out on everyone and be cut off by everyone like my dad. Because it will just come out as strange angry babble and stumbling at random poor people

Ur 5'9, not shit height for ur age at all, especially in ethnic areas, especially if u got 1 inch shoes. Sure ur eye may be an issue but even when i was a cutecel mogger (ill find u pics one day), with freckles , identical to this no joke, same hairstyle and everything, i felt this way and would not wanna go school at all.

Its very very fucking rare, literally only being chad can fix this shit. If I was a HTN for my age and felt this way its definitley a chemical , genetical and shit to do with upbringing thats not changeable and that i accepted after coping that should be medicated.

Sure it can be excused to not wanna go outside being sub5 but me or u arent necessarily ugly we shouldnt be 10 hours behind a screen everyday.

 

[FiendFiend]

Bet bro lmk

Idk if there’s a medication in the world that will truly fix this though, at least for me I think my issues are a result of my circumstances, if I had a better situation I wouldn’t feel and act this way, no way out of ts except going into it and setting everything straight, all we need is something to low inhib max like phenibut to take action

part of it is , sfs to where u feel ur mouth speaking patterns are weird, most niggas with sfs have struggle with speech and got same issues as u and me, but are they just avoiding the outdoors with these extisential feeling of gut and regret, nah bro i doubt it.

Some symptoms like not talking much sure, but when ur literally just feeling horrible dread , medicate it and go work, u can hop off the meds once u ascend if u really want to.

 

[Prøphet]

nah not really. its quite genetical.

My dad is a loner with no friends, he isnt ugly at all bro mogs me to oblivion, apperantly always feels people are staring at him, starting fights with him, nigga just constantly wears sunglasses at any opportunity to avoid eye contact, he would crash out on pakistani workers randomly and cuss them out.

Im happy im not high t and with that anxiety i'd be crashing out on everyone and be cut off by everyone like my dad. Because it will just come out as strange angry babble and stumbling at random poor people

Ur 5'9, not shit height for ur age at all, especially in ethnic areas, especially if u got 1 inch shoes. Sure ur eye may be an issue but even when i was a cutecel mogger (ill find u pics one day), with freckles , identical to this no joke, same hairstyle and everything, i felt this way and would not wanna go school at all.

View attachment 4117284

Its very very fucking rare, literally only being chad can fix this shit. If I was a HTN for my age and felt this way its definitley a chemical , genetical and shit to do with upbringing thats not changeable and that i accepted after coping that should be medicated.

Sure it can be excused to not wanna go outside being sub5 but me or u arent necessarily ugly we shouldnt be 10 hours behind a screen everyday.

High iq did read

Depression runs in my family too, maybe it would be an issue anyways, but I think being ugly + depressed is like 1+1=3, horrible horrible combination

 

[FiendFiend]

High iq did read

Depression runs in my family too, maybe it would be an issue anyways, but I think being ugly + depressed is like 1+1=3, horrible horrible combination

yeah no shit i had my drunk dad walk in say basically "ur fucked all ur family has a history of suicide and alcoholism get over it nigga"

east european dad classic

 

[Prøphet]

part of it is , sfs to where u feel ur mouth speaking patterns are weird, most niggas with sfs have struggle with speech and got same issues as u and me, but are they just avoiding the outdoors with these extisential feeling of gut and regret, nah bro i doubt it.

Some symptoms like not talking much sure, but when ur literally just feeling horrible dread , medicate it and go work, u can hop off the meds once u ascend if u really want to.

Yo that’s true asf, I remember as a child when I was even more boneless than I am now, I used to have problems swallowing food sometimes because it felt uncomfortable, having sfs it was like my face and neck were always “fat” even though I was underweight even, I’m sure it also does something to the way you speak since it’s a literal malformation

Idk I think too much and always have that’s where most of my issues come from, but I think if I wasn’t so hideous growing up, everyone around me wouldn’t have sent the message for me to do that if it makes sense