i realized the lockdown (high iq realization)

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if u push u will overwhelm, which will feel unbearable

if u dont push u will be bored, underwhelmed and it will feel like ur waiting for eternity

so ur fucked either way, whether u push or chill

its like choosing between cancer and aids

so eternal suffering is already inbuilt in you

so the only solution is constant switching between pushing and chilling, so u try to pick which feels easier, which could change any second and changes often which leads to fatigue and unbearability due to constant switching, and often they both feel virtually equally shit

but i think ur forced to eternally switch and change since often one thing feels easier than another

so everything is very temporary, nothing is forever

no permanent cees can exist, but sometimes u need to have a c and act as if its eternal, because it feels better than the alternative, its like u need to fully act like its eternal, because body often punishes half-assed things with hurt
 
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You must perplex the ward's psychologists.
 
Ideal scenario, switch between going on vacations and sitting at home
 

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