I still remember how a friends sister looked at me when I was obese

Danish_Retard

Danish_Retard

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His little sister (~2 years younger) looked at me like I was a pile of garbage and then wouldn't look at me when we sat beside each other for dinner. Barely acknowledged my existence.

As children all three of us used to play together. Used to talk a lot to her, such a massive difference in only a couple of years.

Now that I've lost 40kg and learned to mask my autism she will talk to me, acknowledge me and smile at me. Yet seeing her only makes me feel the resentment, pain and confusion from all of those years ago. It became too deeply embedded in my psyche.
The same is true for all women in a general sense, they all make me remember the looks I used to get, the treatment I used to get. Let this story remind you that the blackpill reigns supreme, looks are everything. And I am scared of remembering because of it.

1urj0c03fc961

Inspired by @Bonesbonesbonesbone thread™
 
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You have friends? Why does every sperg here mog me?
 
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I never got invited to a persons home my entire life.
 
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You have friends? Why does every sperg here mog me?
He is autistic too, lucky meeting when we there 2 years old lol, been friends ever since. His sister isn't tho.
 
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Because you cant fit in the door tubby...
I’m not even that fat, only you disgusting leanmaxxers think 230 lbs is some disability tier weight
 
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God cursed me with autism
 
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I feel you man. The same people who frowned at me and gave me looks of disgust became friendly after I leanmaxed. It actually made me even more depressed and I've become fat again, seeing how fickle and retarded people are.
 
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I feel you man. The same people who frowned at me and gave me looks of disgust became friendly after I leanmaxed. It actually made me even more depressed and I've become fat again, seeing how fickle and retarded people are.
It really is incredible, isn't it? The entirety of human "goodness" and non-primitiveness just fades away and you're left disillusioned with not a single person that can understand. That's what led me here originally too.

I became depressed and fat once again too. Now I am leanmaxxing once more, but I have slightly separated my ego and self-worth from others' opinions in my brain, reducing it to a background noise. It makes it easier, when you realise you're alone surrounded by retarded apes.
 
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I never got invited to a persons home my entire life.
How would people treat you? Also where would you sit at lunch? Did you go to private or public school?
 
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It really is incredible, isn't it? The entirety of human "goodness" and non-primitiveness just fades away and you're left disillusioned with not a single person that can understand. That's what led me here originally too.

I became depressed and fat once again too. Now I am leanmaxxing once more, but I have slightly separated my ego and self-worth from others' opinions in my brain, reducing it to a background noise. It makes it easier, when you realise you're alone surrounded by retarded apes.
u dont have autism u were just fat in high school so u became different
 
How would people treat you? Also where would you sit at lunch? Did you go to private or public school?
Public school, in the back, and people ignored me usually
 
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It really is incredible, isn't it? The entirety of human "goodness" and non-primitiveness just fades away and you're left disillusioned with not a single person that can understand. That's what led me here originally too.

I became depressed and fat once again too. Now I am leanmaxxing once more, but I have slightly separated my ego and self-worth from others' opinions in my brain, reducing it to a background noise. It makes it easier, when you realise you're alone surrounded by retarded apes.

Same, I'm trying to get back on leanmaxing, except it's harder for me now that I'm older and more disillusioned. Got less motivation than I did the first time round. But slowly getting there day by day.
 
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Getting random nasty looks is soul crushing.
 
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I’m not even that fat, only you disgusting leanmaxxers think 230 lbs is some disability tier weight
He’s just a coping twinkcel bro
 
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u dont have autism u were just fat in high school so u became different
lol all my childhood friends have been diagnosed with autism, and as I posted in this thread earlier we've known each other since we there practically babies. On top of that I have several autistic cousins and a schizo uncle, all massive predictors of autism.

Not even to mention I've gotten professionally diagnosed which included talks with my mum and former teachers by a psychologist.

Perhaps I got fat to cope with being different, not the other way around.
 
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Same, I'm trying to get back on leanmaxing, except it's harder for me now that I'm older and more disillusioned. Got less motivation than I did the first time round. But slowly getting there day by day.
That's the thing that changed for me, I am no longer motivated (that much [relative]) by others opinion of me as I am self love. Of course the reason I am motivated to do the thing is because it will change others opinion of me, but that isn't the driver for it, the driver is that I want the best for myself.

Getting random nasty looks is soul crushing.
The absolute worst is that you get used to it. I was so amazed by how well I was treated after losing weight, but I was just treated normally.

I just got used to girls looking at me like I was worthless, thought it was normal.

I am filled with rage and sadness just thinking about it, how am I supposed to not hate normies? It's hard.
 
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lol all my childhood friends have been diagnosed with autism, and as I posted in this thread earlier we've known each other since we there practically babies. On top of that I have several autistic cousins and a schizo uncle, all massive predictors of autism.

Not even to mention I've gotten professionally diagnosed which included talks with my mum and former teachers by a psychologist.

Perhaps I got fat to cope with being different, not the other way around.
I think autism is a buzzword these days cuz many more people are getting diagnosed compared to before. Of course there are still people with autism but i think lots of people especially troubled young men (society is gynocentric and fucked so no shit lots of men are choosing to not participate which can look like autism) are getting misdiagnosed. It's an issue because lots of misdiagnosed men are gaslighted and just give up when they have potential. People on discord servers regularly call themselves autistic but they clearly are naturally social they just prefer online to real life because of bdd or high inhib or something. They could easily have a life but they choose to rot because muh normies are more nt than me. They are but you are still nt enough yourself. If even online you just don't care about socializing you're likely an actual aspie. You might have autism but u seem like u care about socializing to a certain degree. You clearly want to mimic other people and you dislike people who deviate from the norm. You clearly don't socialize for some autistic goal like getting laid or getting your morphs validated 24/7.
 
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Revenge fuck her
 
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He is autistic too, lucky meeting when we there 2 years old lol, been friends ever since. His sister isn't tho.
Mogs me at having friends. The only 'friends' I've ever had in the past sided with my bullies and the incels I know irl are either Tate fans or women worshipping cucks.
I think autism is a buzzword these days cuz many more people are getting diagnosed compared to before. Of course there are still people with autism but i think lots of people especially troubled young men (society is gynocentric and fucked so no shit lots of men are choosing to not participate which can look like autism) are getting misdiagnosed. It's an issue because lots of misdiagnosed men are gaslighted and just give up when they have potential. People on discord servers regularly call themselves autistic but they clearly are naturally social they just prefer online to real life because of bdd or high inhib or something. They could easily have a life but they choose to rot because muh normies are more nt than me. They are but you are still nt enough yourself. If even online you just don't care about socializing you're likely an actual aspie. You might have autism but u seem like u care about socializing to a certain degree. You clearly want to mimic other people and you dislike people who deviate from the norm. You clearly don't socialize for some autistic goal like getting laid or getting your morphs validated 24/7.
I've seen some normies and even some foids claim autism because they have nerdy hobbies like video games or anime even though these cunts can socialize with others normally. They have no fucking clue what it's like to struggle socially or be bullied.
 
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I think autism is a buzzword these days cuz many more people are getting diagnosed compared to before. Of course there are still people with autism but i think lots of people especially troubled young men (society is gynocentric and fucked so no shit lots of men are choosing to not participate which can look like autism) are getting misdiagnosed. It's an issue because lots of misdiagnosed men are gaslighted and just give up when they have potential. People on discord servers regularly call themselves autistic but they clearly are naturally social they just prefer online to real life because of bdd or high inhib or something. They could easily have a life but they choose to rot because muh normies are more nt than me. They are but you are still nt enough yourself. If even online you just don't care about socializing you're likely an actual aspie. You might have autism but u seem like u care about socializing to a certain degree. You clearly want to mimic other people and you dislike people who deviate from the norm. You clearly don't socialize for some autistic goal like getting laid or getting your morphs validated 24/7.
You're confusing schizoid personality disorder and autism. Autism has nothing to do with introversion or extroversion tho the increased rejection one faces during upbringing may shift the mean towards introversion.

Definitely agree on people just giving up, with a caveat, for some it's too tiring or impossible to mask (appear NT) so they completely disregard it and focus entirely on other areas in their life, I know one guy like this studying comp/sci. Ended up with an autistic (ugly) gf, so not an entirely shit strategy.

I want to mimic other people because being rejected and made to feel subhuman or completely alone is painful. I don't actually want any NT friends, tho I have come to appreciate the ones I have, if I could I'd never interact with an NT again. Alas, ~97% of humanity is NT, so I am forced to learn.

Revenge fuck her
Shes virgin and hot af, and I have devil effect from her remembering me as being ugly and autistic. Some months ago she (with no regards to the awkwardness of it) asked me if I am still awkward...
Sad Bounty Hunter GIF by DefyTV


Mogs me at having friends. The only 'friends' I've ever had in the past sided with my bullies and the incels I know irl are either Tate fans or women worshipping cucks.
He's a Tate fan too... Just nod along, occasionally blackpill him or show a bit of hatred and he doesn't react as badly as bluepilled autistic friends, so it's a neutral trait. Absolutely brutal experience tho.

I've seen some normies and even some foids claim autism because they have nerdy hobbies like video games or anime even though these cunts can socialize with others normally. They have no fucking clue what it's like to struggle socially or be bullied.
I don't have a clue why anyone would want to be autitstic, it's hell. I spent many many hours reading about body language and communication from 5. grade -> present wishing I was normal.
 
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You're confusing schizoid personality disorder and autism. Autism has nothing to do with introversion or extroversion tho the increased rejection one faces during upbringing may shift the mean towards introversion.

Definitely agree on people just giving up, with a caveat, for some it's too tiring or impossible to mask (appear NT) so they completely disregard it and focus entirely on other areas in their life, I know one guy like this studying comp/sci. Ended up with an autistic (ugly) gf, so not an entirely shit strategy.

I want to mimic other people because being rejected and made to feel subhuman or completely alone is painful. I don't actually want any NT friends, tho I have come to appreciate the ones I have, if I could I'd never interact with an NT again. Alas, ~97% of humanity is NT, so I am forced to learn.


Shes virgin and hot af, and I have devil effect from her remembering me as being ugly and autistic. Some months ago she (with no regards to the awkwardness of it) asked me if I am still awkward...
Sad Bounty Hunter GIF by DefyTV



He's a Tate fan too... Just nod along, occasionally blackpill him or show a bit of hatred and he doesn't react as badly as bluepilled autistic friends, so it's a neutral trait. Absolutely brutal experience tho.


I don't have a clue why anyone would want to be autitstic, it's hell. I spent many many hours reading about body language and communication from 5. grade -> present wishing I was normal.
Go for it bro, fuck it
 
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My personality/autism makes me not want to fit in. Which leads to off grooming habits, clothing and behavior.

I detest mainstream culture intrinsically which makes it impossible to fit in
 
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That's the thing that changed for me, I am no longer motivated (that much [relative]) by others opinion of me as I am self love. Of course the reason I am motivated to do the thing is because it will change others opinion of me, but that isn't the driver for it, the driver is that I want the best for myself.


The absolute worst is that you get used to it. I was so amazed by how well I was treated after losing weight, but I was just treated normally.

I just got used to girls looking at me like I was worthless, thought it was normal.

I am filled with rage and sadness just thinking about it, how am I supposed to not hate normies? It's hard.
I feel for you, brother.

It’s better to just be alone than to deal with normal faggot shit.



I had “friends” in hs that would treat me like a worthless jester at first. As I went through puberty and my acne faded, they gradually started treating me with more respect. They stopped laughing at me and at my jokes instead.

It made me very bitter and wary of others.
 
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I feel for you, brother.

It’s better to just be alone than to deal with normal faggot shit.



I had “friends” in hs that would treat me like a worthless jester at first. As I went through puberty and my acne faded, they gradually started treating me with more respect. They stopped laughing at me and at my jokes instead.

It made me very bitter and wary of others.
Indeed, there is nothing else in life that has made me quite as disappointed as this.
The primitiveness...
The utter lack of awareness...

So profoundly disappointing.

I was, and I still am but slightly less, very bitter and wary too, but gradually it is being replaced with disappointment and resignation, you just have to play by the rules, and realise how shallow 99% of human<->human connections are
 
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Indeed, there is nothing else in life that has made me quite as disappointed as this.
The primitiveness...
The utter lack of awareness...

So profoundly disappointing.

I was, and I still am but slightly less, very bitter and wary too, but gradually it is being replaced with disappointment and resignation, you just have to play by the rules, and realise how shallow 99% of human<->human connections are
I mostly lived as a hermit from 2018 to summer 2022.

In the fall, I was exposed to a “normal” social as for the first time because of my roommates.
I observed so much negative and primitive shit in those four months that I felt like I was watching a live TV drama.

Intrigue
malicious Gossip
Lies
Infidelity

They tried to drag me into their shit, but I had learned from past experiences not to ingratiate myself into such situations.
 
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His little sister (~2 years younger) looked at me like I was a pile of garbage and then wouldn't look at me when we sat beside each other for dinner. Barely acknowledged my existence.

As children all three of us used to play together. Used to talk a lot to her, such a massive difference in only a couple of years.

Now that I've lost 40kg and learned to mask my autism she will talk to me, acknowledge me and smile at me. Yet seeing her only makes me feel the resentment, pain and confusion from all of those years ago. It became too deeply embedded in my psyche.
The same is true for all women in a general sense, they all make me remember the looks I used to get, the treatment I used to get. Let this story remind you that the blackpill reigns supreme, looks are everything. And I am scared of remembering because of it.

View attachment 2229140
Inspired by @Bonesbonesbonesbone thread™
Advices to mask the autism
 
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Dnr but autism = over
 
Advices to mask the autism

This is probably one of the best books, it doesn't have much about modulating your own bodylanguage but you can find that elsewhere. The techniques are extremely useful/powerful for aspies and based on science, not just the generic bullshitting that the the average social skills book is.
 
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