I waste most of my days cognitive bandwidth on useless actions

[cute]

When i leave my house and lock the door, i often press on the door handle 10+ times and lean on the door just because i have very unusual anxiety that i didnt lock it well. There have been times that i’d be on my way to the gym or school, and would have to run back home because i get a massive anxiety spike that i didnt lock it properly..
I have a weird feeling that things i do have to be symmetrical, biggest example being if i click the right click on my mouse too hard, i need to click the left one with the approx same force for it to feel balanced

 

[160cmcurry]

 

[JeanneDArcAlter]

100% feel the same

 

[cute]

100% feel the same

exhausting because if i dont succumb to the urges i either feel anxiety or some weird feeling thats hard to describe.