i will amount to nothing and theres no future with me succeeding

[Sub5 & Celibate]

I hate everything but a couple things about my life. im such a awkward loser whose friends only want to be friends with him if hes openly struggling. I moved schools and hate it. if there is a god he fucking hates me and wants me to kms so i go to hell if heaven is real. My only true and best friend died in february and i had so much we were going to do and hopefully succeed with him. I have no motivation to do any work, i had to go online school last year because i was so depressed and failed all my classes. i dont find pleasure in anything and my health is so bad im slowly killing myself everyday. im so fucking depressed my 20mg of lexapro doesnt fucking help and im still able to cry and think bad thoughts. this is probably my last post for a while. im going inactive due to my mental health.
@TechnoBoss i want to self ban and i want you to not unban me until september 19th if thats possible.
fuck my life see yall later ig