Lumbersexual
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This post was spurred by another thread discussing disdain for the NTmaxing idea. This is based on my 15 years of dating experience and doing social work for universities and colleges. There is very little research which looks at fleshing out personality traits and physical traits and how much each contributes to a relationship, short or long term.
Personality does not matter if you are the hottest a female feels she could ever do. If she cannot trade up, and she cannot trade laterally, you can treat her like garbage and she will always be loyal.
If you are attractive but a female thinks she could do better at some point, your personality can affect how long she will stick it out before she goes and finds something better but she will go after something better at some point.
This one is where personality actually matters. If she doesn't believe she can get someone more physically attractive than you BUT she could get someone equally as attractive, your personality needs to be on point because at this point this is the only thing differentiating you from the other 100 guys that she could have that look as good as you. This is where she needs to feel that no one can treat her, protect her, take care of her as well as you do. The balance of agreeableness and assertiveness needs to be perfectly balanced. She needs you to be the perfect balance of "tender defender." A term coined by evolutionary psychologist Geoffry Miller.
Now if you're unattractive and a female can easily do better than you physically, a great personality might help you luck out for a little bit but she will still move on quickly.
If you are quite ugly nothing can save you and personality doesn't matter once again.
Now when I talk about personality I'm not talking about some unmeasurable concept, I'm talking the big five: conscientiousness, agreeableness, extraversion, openness, neuroticism. These are all easily measurable and more accurate than Myers-Briggs.
Personality does not matter if you are the hottest a female feels she could ever do. If she cannot trade up, and she cannot trade laterally, you can treat her like garbage and she will always be loyal.
If you are attractive but a female thinks she could do better at some point, your personality can affect how long she will stick it out before she goes and finds something better but she will go after something better at some point.
This one is where personality actually matters. If she doesn't believe she can get someone more physically attractive than you BUT she could get someone equally as attractive, your personality needs to be on point because at this point this is the only thing differentiating you from the other 100 guys that she could have that look as good as you. This is where she needs to feel that no one can treat her, protect her, take care of her as well as you do. The balance of agreeableness and assertiveness needs to be perfectly balanced. She needs you to be the perfect balance of "tender defender." A term coined by evolutionary psychologist Geoffry Miller.
Now if you're unattractive and a female can easily do better than you physically, a great personality might help you luck out for a little bit but she will still move on quickly.
If you are quite ugly nothing can save you and personality doesn't matter once again.
Now when I talk about personality I'm not talking about some unmeasurable concept, I'm talking the big five: conscientiousness, agreeableness, extraversion, openness, neuroticism. These are all easily measurable and more accurate than Myers-Briggs.
