I’m actually very religious, even if I swore throughout times in my life I wasn’t.

[5'7" 3/4s]

In a way I kind of have a disdain for my parents for essentially priming me as a child to understand all meaning through God. Because when I did try to disbelieve and find something for myself, I recognized the same patterns of thinking I had surrounding my regular Christian faith, just in a different context.

It’s almost as if for me there is always a hole to fill in regards to meaning whether it be God or some other form of truth. Tbh if I was never introduced to God as a concept I don’t think I would have even cared about the meaning of life, seriously it’s not like I’m super high iq, I would’ve just lived my life as a regular nigga.

But yea, I can’t separate myself from God. It’s worthless, I’ll just end up trying to fill the hole with some other form of meaning that leaves me far less fulfilled.

Religion is good cope if u were Indoctrinated into it like me, no point in trying to fight ur pre existing neural pathways in lieu of trying to disbelieve in something you can’t prove to be 100% false either imo, esp when u will just try to look for other measly alternatives.

So yeah, Jesus Christ is my lord and Savior. I just wish he made me Chad sometimes.