luuk
Determined
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2025
- Posts
- 3,160
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Just as I look back a few years to my teen years and wish I hadn’t wasted them, I feel that I am only repeating the same patterns once more
Yet knowledge of this doesn’t seem to help, it doesn’t unravel whatever mental wiring is causing this, it doesn’t spur me with the motivation to change. This is a common theme in my life, I’m told that I am so wise when it comes to advising others yet my own shit is no more sorted out than theirs.
At this point I’m just tired, of breaking my own promises, losing the war with myself. Its the final blackpill, realising that your wiring is your destiny. I can already tell the trappings that I am going to fall into in life but I can do nothing to stop them. I know so much and all of it is useless.
I keep searching for answers in a pill or a neat little guidebook or protocol. Thats why I’m into looksmaxxing and the whole culture of personal optimisation. Normies don’t have to fix themselves in the vague hope of a worthwhile life, they just live it. I read all of these books, study all of these methods, consume so much useless information but nothing truly changes on a fundamental level.
Maybe it isn’t so bad, I’m not necessarily suffering on a daily basis, but its as if I have a constant unsolved problem, a constant mental burden, I’m constantly behind in life and I never sleep easy. A constant state of dissatisfaction. If I was told right now that I only had a day left to live, I would just feel a sense of resignation at how futile it all was, how anticlimactic and unfulfilling a story to live in such a vast and fascinating world..
Yet knowledge of this doesn’t seem to help, it doesn’t unravel whatever mental wiring is causing this, it doesn’t spur me with the motivation to change. This is a common theme in my life, I’m told that I am so wise when it comes to advising others yet my own shit is no more sorted out than theirs.
At this point I’m just tired, of breaking my own promises, losing the war with myself. Its the final blackpill, realising that your wiring is your destiny. I can already tell the trappings that I am going to fall into in life but I can do nothing to stop them. I know so much and all of it is useless.
I keep searching for answers in a pill or a neat little guidebook or protocol. Thats why I’m into looksmaxxing and the whole culture of personal optimisation. Normies don’t have to fix themselves in the vague hope of a worthwhile life, they just live it. I read all of these books, study all of these methods, consume so much useless information but nothing truly changes on a fundamental level.
Maybe it isn’t so bad, I’m not necessarily suffering on a daily basis, but its as if I have a constant unsolved problem, a constant mental burden, I’m constantly behind in life and I never sleep easy. A constant state of dissatisfaction. If I was told right now that I only had a day left to live, I would just feel a sense of resignation at how futile it all was, how anticlimactic and unfulfilling a story to live in such a vast and fascinating world..
