GandyLuvr
Bronze
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2025
- Posts
- 307
- Reputation
- 295
So basically I was tired of how I looked and I’ve started my ascension journey a few months ago. Since then I’ve become leaner and lost a lot of acne and just look over all healthier. My bones are finally showing but I’m still struggling quite a bit with my mental health.
For example, I consider myself a fairly perverted person. I try my best to recognize them as just fantasies but I see myself continuing to fantasize about others. Now that I’m okay looking enough that women glance at me it has been causing me to second guess especially because I know I’m not emotionally mature enough for a relationship but yet I feel this compulsion to be with a woman romantically and sexually which I’ve never experienced before.
On the other hand too I’ve noticed that I judge men on looks fairly frequently. I think I always did but I’ve become more aware of it over the last several months. I see a man looking worse than me and instinctively I start judging them. On the other hand when I see a man looking better than me I get defensive and feel threatened and insecure. I do this with women a bit too but I’m tired of feeling both of these ways around people I don’t even know. I wish I didn’t have bias just off of people’s appearance
TLDR: I’m tired of relationship issues and want to be with others. But can’t get over own mental barriers to be with them and I think BP has contributed a bit to this.
For example, I consider myself a fairly perverted person. I try my best to recognize them as just fantasies but I see myself continuing to fantasize about others. Now that I’m okay looking enough that women glance at me it has been causing me to second guess especially because I know I’m not emotionally mature enough for a relationship but yet I feel this compulsion to be with a woman romantically and sexually which I’ve never experienced before.
On the other hand too I’ve noticed that I judge men on looks fairly frequently. I think I always did but I’ve become more aware of it over the last several months. I see a man looking worse than me and instinctively I start judging them. On the other hand when I see a man looking better than me I get defensive and feel threatened and insecure. I do this with women a bit too but I’m tired of feeling both of these ways around people I don’t even know. I wish I didn’t have bias just off of people’s appearance
TLDR: I’m tired of relationship issues and want to be with others. But can’t get over own mental barriers to be with them and I think BP has contributed a bit to this.
