Im kinda considering becoming a monk

Jesus_ist_König

Jesus_ist_König

ppl are happier when I'm not around
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Nobody wants me, im so unimportant and even if i was a chad and 6 foot 4, even then age pill would get me and i think that i still would have problems with not having friends. For me life is so unimportant and like one little scoop of poopo, im looking at Christ, at eternal life. Since i cant suicide, due to it being a sin, I can only pray for Christ to come back as soon as possible, yet im also scared that i wont make it into heaven for i dont seek Christ 24/7 anymore. There is a beautiful quote it was like "Once you see how fast people will forget you after your death, you would only seek Christ for he is the one and only that stays forever". Listening to sad music is fucking with my brain nigga but it makes me reflect on how miserable i am. Becoming a monk is super boring but what do i gain from trying and failing to make friends, whereas being a monk i have more chances to achieve Theosis (Its not you who lifes, but Christ who lives in you). Christ wouldnt think the same as i think and act, I need to change my behaviour. I think the first step is to stop cussing and saying bad words, i dont know why but i think Christ wouldnt do that. I just dont know what to do and where to go. I would appreciate prayers.
 
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Go for it
 
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Go for it
Hm i dont know its seems so super alone. Its very funny since you lose everything wordly but at the same time gain everything. Its the hardest thing ever. I dont want to suffer more. Every second you get attacked by demons and need to stand ur ground and be in constant prayer. Its draining, but its real
 
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