I’m lowkey going insane

[Prøphet]

Ever since I fully took the bp last year at 17, (even though I knew it was true for my whole life I just never recognized it,) Ive started to see everything through a different lens. Suddenly I understand why all the things in my life went wrong, I understand why people seem to have a short fuse with me and get pissed off whenever I make the slightest mistake. I understand why I was always singled out, treated like fucking dirt. We hold these prejudices and judgments unconsciously, and then when we discriminate we reach for “rational” excuses to cover our ass, but there’s always some logical discrepancy. We are governed by the unconscious animal drive that favors aesthetics and genetic quality above all else.

And I know why so many of my family members ended up where they did, isn’t it such a cruel joke the things that will control your life the most are decided at conception? There is no free will, we’re all just actors playing out a script we don’t even know exists; everything is going to happen the way it would’ve always happened because of the flowing stream of time and causality. The reason I could never be a good son, a good friend, a good person is because the wrong sperm won the race. I will never be able to do or experience what many of you take for granted, and the justification? Simply genetic luck. The universe is a cosmic joke and our attempts to understand will only lead to more bitterness and agony.

Now the worst thing possible has happened, I lost hope that things will ever get better for me, and now I’m consumed by meaninglessness, and I have no purpose, and I can’t find any, because in the end it’s all useless and you either have “it” or you don’t. There was never and never will be true equality. Not even a modicum of it. Only charades and masks to cover the hierarchy of life.

 

[alurmo]

Ever since I fully took the bp last year at 17, (even though I knew it was true for my whole life I just never recognized it,) Ive started to see everything through a different lens. Suddenly I understand why all the things in my life went wrong, I understand why people seem to have a short fuse with me and get pissed off whenever I make the slightest mistake. I understand why I was always singled out, treated like fucking dirt. We hold these prejudices and judgments unconsciously, and then when we discriminate we reach for “rational” excuses to cover our ass, but there’s always some logical discrepancy. We are governed by the unconscious animal drive that favors aesthetics and genetic quality above all else.

And I know why so many of my family members ended up where they did, isn’t it such a cruel joke the things that will control your life the most are decided at conception? There is no free will, we’re all just actors playing out a script we don’t even know exists; everything is going to happen the way it would’ve always happened because of the flowing stream of time and causality. The reason I could never be a good son, a good friend, a good person is because the wrong sperm won the race. I will never be able to do or experience what many of you take for granted, and the justification? Simply genetic luck.

 

[Surfsup]

Cure to BP is asceticism
Renounce the world