I'm so damaged that I don't even know what I want

[ranierean]

When you're incel long enough you learn that the answer to every single question that you have about yourself is a “No”.

You don't deserve anything, you have nothing and no one. Your life becomes a passive experience. You're not even an “onlooker” in the technical sense because it all passes by you–you don't even get to see how others live, your guesses are second-hand guesses, you just walk out at night and see house windows everywhere fill up with warm lights–nothing about you will ever be that intriguing image for anybody else.

Yearning has to have a hint of a practicality to it–it can't be pure imagination–and so I guess I have successfully reasoned myself out of feeling like there is something that I should look forward to, and I hate being proven right on this over and over and over again.

 

[NoHoesinOhio]

Why not start with lithium orotate

 

[Archimedes]

No advice for simps

 

[RecessedCels]

You don't deserve anything

Yes I do. I'm entitled to a good life and love

 

[playxiing]

no point of living if u dont look like this

 

[Deleted member 122909]

I think I'm understanding your post correctly but I'm not sure.

Let me create a metaphor to you so I can help you reframe life and give you some purpose and meaning.

Imagine you just joined a Minecraft server and you have nothing. Right now, you're walking around in the server and looking at the structures and shit that people have spent so much time building and gathering the resources for. Those people are the warm lights you see in the window. If you peek inside that warm window, you'll notice the people inside are relatively content compared to you. This is becuase the effort they put into building up their base is so rewarding, they derive pleasure from it at all times because the brain rewards success in doing difficult tasks. Why would they care about you? You're just some random newbie.

The way to get out of this mental rut you're in is to start taking the time to collect resources and build your base. You have to start with the boring stuff like punching trees for wood and mining for coal and iron. It's boring but you'll realize this will give you the purpose and meaning to continue and before you know it, you have diamonds and a house made out of gold blocks. You will now be the one with the house with warm lights, perfectly inwardly content without caring about what's outside your window. People will want to be inside with you at that point.

You;re correct. You don't deserve anything. You have to work for it. If you're not willing to work for it, then thus ends the story of Ranierean which would be a 5 page book. Nothing impressive.

To summarize: Stop looking at what other people have and build your base bro. And have fun doing it.

 

[davidlaidisme67]

When you're incel long enough you learn that the answer to every single question that you have about yourself is a “No”.

You don't deserve anything, you have nothing and no one. Your life becomes a passive experience. You're not even an “onlooker” in the technical sense because it all passes by you–you don't even get to see how others live, your guesses are second-hand guesses, you just walk out at night and see house windows everywhere fill up with warm lights–nothing about you will ever be that intriguing image for anybody else.

Yearning has to have a hint of a practicality to it–it can't be pure imagination–and so I guess I have successfully reasoned myself out of feeling like there is something that I should look forward to, and I hate being proven right on this over and over and over again.

So real not even sure I want a ltr

 

[Deleted member 122909]

If you want to live a life with a 5 page story about you, then that is your choice. It's not automatic, it's a choice. All those people with warm lights started as new players at one point and they made a choice to make something worthy of themselves rather than wallow in laziness and self pity. Your post tells me you decided to end your story with 5 pages. Fortunately, the book is still open and you have a looooot of paper left. Get started.

Edited