pleasevanity
degenerate
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2026
- Posts
- 348
- Reputation
- 498
random vent
i feel like absolute shit all the time i really want to do things for the better and get out of this emotional cycle of “i’m going to lock in” highs and “i’ll do it later” lows. i end up feeling like i can’t be bothered to do anything and i fear i’ll be this way for a long time or i’ll just end it from guilt if i really can’t ever get better
i feel so much shame in my situation and instead of trying to be better i go ahead and infatuate myself with random girls on the internet and love bomb them until they’re exhausted of me, i want to be stable and i want to stop being a bitch. i want this cycle to end and i don’t know how to.
what do i even do… i don’t even want to ldar all day but i just look at the state of everything in my life and i just want to give up instantly. it’s like visualising a hill you have to climb and then realising you’re starting underground..
i feel like absolute shit all the time i really want to do things for the better and get out of this emotional cycle of “i’m going to lock in” highs and “i’ll do it later” lows. i end up feeling like i can’t be bothered to do anything and i fear i’ll be this way for a long time or i’ll just end it from guilt if i really can’t ever get better
i feel so much shame in my situation and instead of trying to be better i go ahead and infatuate myself with random girls on the internet and love bomb them until they’re exhausted of me, i want to be stable and i want to stop being a bitch. i want this cycle to end and i don’t know how to.
my entire life purpose for a few months was devoted to being with this egirl and making her happy yet i just blocked her on everything because i got tired of her bs, she probably won’t ever try to talk to me again (somehow, someway) because i’ve basically just been really rude and insensitive to her and she probably doesn’t care that i’m gone. i don’t regret anything i’ve done because nothing i’ve done was made to hurt her. despite that, it hurts to lose someone you idealised as perfect. she was really beautiful dark hair and blue eyes and we used to play games together and dreamt about being together in person. i’m fine with it being over but without her i have to face the failure of a man that i am. she was a rich daddy’s girl and i had nothing. i don’t even have nice clothes to wear. being with her might’ve been holding me back a little bit sure but at the same time she gave me a reason to keep living even if she never realised it.
what do i even do… i don’t even want to ldar all day but i just look at the state of everything in my life and i just want to give up instantly. it’s like visualising a hill you have to climb and then realising you’re starting underground..
