Islam's absurd teachings

[Funnyunenjoyer1]

As I said in my last thread about Islam, it has many goofy teachings, so here are a few of the most ridiculous and silly teachings of Muhammad, Islam's most relevant prophet:

Have your hands licked by somebody else
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet said, 'When you eat, do not wipe your hands till you have licked it, or had it licked by somebody else."
Sahih Bukhari 7:65:366
Satan urinates in Prophet's Ears
Narrated 'Abdullah : A person was mentioned before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears."
Sahih Bukhari 2:21:245​

Dip fly wings in a drink to cure it from diseases​

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said "If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."
Sahih Bukhari 4:54:537
Yawning is from Satan
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him."
Sahih Bukhari 4:54:509
72 virgins in heaven and everlasting erect penis
Abu Umama narrated: "The Messenger of God said, 'Everyone that God admits into paradise will be married to 72 wives; two of them are houris and seventy of his inheritance of the [female] dwellers of hell. All of them will have libidinous sex organs and he will have an ever-erect penis.' "
Sunan Ibn Maja, Zuhd (Book of Abstinence) 39

Playing Chess is a sin
Buraida reported on the authority of his father that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: He who played chess is like one who dyed his hand with the flesh and blood of swine.
Sahih Muslim 28:5612​

Drinking water while standing is a sin​

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger as saying: None of you should drink while standing; and if anyone forgets, he must vomit.
Sahih Muslim 23:5022​

Green and white jars are Forbidden​

Narrated Ash-Shaibani: I heard 'Abdullah bin Abi Aufa saying, "The Prophet forbade the use of green jars." I said, "Shall we drink out of white jars?" He said, "No."
Sahih Bukhari 7:69:501​

Using the bathroom, smelling sweet things, and wearing soft clothing causes one to gain weight​

Imam al-Sadiq said, "Three things cause weight gain and three others cause weight loss. As for those that cause weight gain, [they are] excessive use of the bathhouse, smelling sweet fragrance and wearing soft clothing. And as for those that cause weight loss, they are: eating too many eggs, fish and unripe dates."​

Ibn Babawayh. Al-Khisal. p. 155, no. 194.​

Spreading and putting sheets on your chest stops you forgetting​

...One day the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Whoever spreads his sheet till I finish this statement of mine and then gathers it on his chest, will never forget anything of my statement." So, I spread my covering sheet which was the only garment I had, till the Prophet (ﷺ) finished his statement and then I gathered it over my chest...
Sahih Bukhari 3:39:540

That's it for now thanks for reading.
Remember Christ is King.
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[Funnyunenjoyer1]

Bump

 

[asdvek]

Never get up keep grinding keep hustling shoot for your dreams and im telling you guys anything is possible I promise you you just have to take that one hard step of actually doing something you I promise you it will be worth it

 

[Deleted member 23558]

Time to eat eggs and dates

 

[Funnyunenjoyer1]

Bump

 

[Funnyunenjoyer1]

BUUUUUMP

 

[xuzky]

curry

 

[ShowerMaxxing]

The only one that makes sense to me is chess being sin as it’s a Masonic game

 

[6PSLcel]

religion is so cringe

 

[MoggerM]

The only one that makes sense to me is chess being sin as it’s a Masonic game

Marshmallow brothaa

 

[depressionmaxxing]

Or eating with your right hand only,
I get so pissed when i see my relatived saying my left handed sister needs to practise eating with her right

 

[Funnyunenjoyer1]

Bump one more time lol

 

[Funnyunenjoyer1]

religion is so cringe

everything except Christianity

 

[6PSLcel]

everything except Christianity

Even worse

 

[Dickdazzler]

good thread

 

[Funnyunenjoyer1]

Even worse

Christianity is all about Love, Peace and forgiveness
other religions preach violence, Killing, lying and they are overall like one of those XP based video games "do this meaningless irrelevant thing rn so you will get 50000 allah points in Jannah!" Christianity just tells you to believe Christ died for your sins, He loves you and he wants you with him and he is the true way to heaven.

 

[yeeyeeslayer]

satan urinating in the prophets ear is a sunni only narration in bukhari jfl

not found anywhere in shia literature

 

[romanstock]

Just look at them. Case closed. No need to delve any deeper. Anything that congregates all that filth together must consequently also be filth.

 

[WeiWei]

Islam is retarded and should be made illegal and banned everywhere in the world.