it is absolutely crazy just how different i feel during the day let me explain.

[_MVP_]

1. i feel bad, i start thinking everything is impossible
i focus on impossibility, i feel better
impossibility starts to feel bad, i focus on crime, feel better
later i feel even better, and become unable to focus on crime
i start focusing on iq, feel good
i start feeling bad, start thinking everything is impossible
and the cycle repeats, except i also feel like focusing on other things, like money or so
like when i feel hateful i start focusing on destroying humanity to feel better
when i feel in a different way, i focus on singularity
i often feel unbearable, back pain, depressed, breathing problems etc
im bipolar schizophrenic

unable to focus on anything for long



its an endless mindfuck cycle, different cycles come over me like moon phases, its actually often hard to predict what cycle often comes, but i noticed patterns...

its more complex than that.

when i spend too much time (like 4 hours without pause, in front of laptop i get unbearable back pain have to lie down in bed for several hours, it takes long till the pain goes away.

@paladincel_

 

[_MVP_]

very often: the worse i feel now, the better i will feel later.



for example i cleaned my room 2 hours it was very painful.



now i feel relief after the job is done, feel good.



but its all temporary.

 

[R@m@]

Can relate

 

[deadstock]

Always focus on what u feel like in the moment

 

[Antipsychotics]

real relate

 

[Сигма Бой]

Always focus on what u feel like in the moment

Das meditation.

 

[romanstock]

thankfully you have this forum as an outlet, or i'd hate to wonder what you might do