Sasukecel
18yo sub5 nonNT 5'7 blackcel
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2024
- Posts
- 202
- Reputation
- 515
Why do I keep telling you stuff? Because I have no friends after the FitxFearless situation. Why do you type so much? Because I'm nonNT (just speed-read). Autism + high inhibition makes it so I think a lot about stuff (ironic the reason my entire life got fucked was because I didn't think and made a stupid decision) but after 4 months, I nearly have a resolution.
Aftermath of the Fitxfearless video:
Going on the Fitxfearless livecall destroyed my life on the same scale as taking drugs, because at least with drugs, millions of people don't know you're doing drugs. I didn't want my old classmates to know I use .is and .org, I didn't want them to know I was thinking about cosmetic surgery. Imagine your .org account got leaked to your entire school and you got called a loser on the internet for millions to see, with your face on a thumbnail next to an arrow "Never had sex" with the title "Here's why being an incel is ruining your life" for everyone to see. Negative Aura, that was fucking stupid. It still gets views and comments to this day. I don't know why I did that 4 months ago, at 17. I fell behind in University, stopped working out, suicidal thoughts, entire public reputation destroyed as I'm known as the nonNT incel lolcow amongst my University and brother's school, it fucked up my entire life. If I didn't go on that call, I wouldn't be a viral lolcow and I would have a relatively semi-normal life without millions of people seeing me be humiliated on the internet.
Who's fault is it?:
Obviously I was a dumbass at 17. I massively fucked up, the worst fuck up of my life. I joined a livestream, and technically that makes all of it his property, but I didn't know that. It's easy to say "You should have known, it's your fault inkwell", but there's more things to consider. There was no verification I was 21, and I wasn't explicitly told or even aware (from my own lack of research/context) that the video would be posted on all platforms for millions of people to see. And even if it my own fault, just let the videos stay up? The aftermath, was suicidal ideations, instagram dm's telling me to kill myself, a ruined reputation, texting/calling the suicide hotline for hours, crying, punching walls/doors in frustration. Things could have gotten really bad because of the virality of the video. If I was just a little more depressed, there would be a funeral and a news story.
My stance is it's my fault for going on the call, FitxFearless's fault for milking views off the public humiliation of a minor which destroyed my entire life and crafted this aftermath where I have to talk on .org because I have no friends now. If I should have made sure I knew that if I went on the call, it's all of his property, he should have asked for ID/made sure I was actually 21 before plastering me over the internet, making me a viral lolcow.
"Moving on":
I'm not going to kill myself, and I'm not going to hide from the world. I'll accept the hate and mockery everyday. If I truly moved on, I would delete my .org account, delete my online presence, name change, fly to Monaco and forget this all happened. But I'm not going to forget this happened. I'll accept people's insults, I'm not deleting my channel because I'm going to post videos in the future (years from now after my irl is fixed). I'm not changing my legal name either. If you oppose that, that shows the video massively fucked up my reputation, where I have to hide/leave the internet because "your personal reputation is over. Your name will always be associated with lolcow" and that is because of the FitxFearless video.
I'm going to looksmax. I don't want to surgerymax (as in make it a 5 - 10 year process), I want to make it a one and done. Get surgery once, and it's done. Otoplasty and rhinoplasty at the same time, if it's safe oto, rhino, and genio. Softmaxxing will be a process, I'll get surgery once and that will be my fully looksmaxxed state.
For that to happen I need to get my life on track, start developing study habits, get a part time job, start working out, wake up earlier, use a calendar, and I plan on getting my life together, but I don't view that as justice for the 4 months I lost, and the public humiliation. The way my nonNT brain works is there has to be something to justify something negative. I was called ugly, so looksmax, bullied in school which is why I hopped on the rp in the 1st place, but for this fitxfearless situation, even if it's my fault, where's the justice?
So my plan for the FitxFearless situation is mostly the same. My life was ruined by going on call, I will rebuild my life, but I'm going after him. All the insults, all the mockery, the public humiliation, justice isn't brought by "moving on." Justice is brought by compensation. I'm still going to report the videos, try to take them down, sue FitxFearless and that's motivation to fix my life. How can I get revenge against FitxFearless if I'm a broke fat loser? If I hate FitxFearless, then jerking off to porn and crying all day will make it so I can't get revenge. If I become a millionaire, then I could sue him and hire hackers to get his channel nuked. There's more possibilities if I get my life together. All this will be justified if I get after FitxFearless and I get something out of it. If the videos get removed, if he gives me money, if I get him to apologize. I need some kind of compensation because it ruined my entire life and public reputatin to the point where now I'm in this situation.
And even though legally the court said I can't talk to my Dad because my Mom placed a restraint against him for "abusive behavior", I need to talk to him, and I need to apologize for embarrassing his last name (because he probably saw the video). I want him to know the context. He's old, like 56, and he was overweight and already had health issues before. I really want to talk to him before he fucking dies as resolution, because if his last memory of "his son" is getting publicly humiliated, then that's pure ropefuel. If I neetmax and I have to listen to Mom, and he dies before I talk to him about it, then that's truly the biggest lost, bigger than all of the mockery and humiliation. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my Dad saw me as a fucking loser as his last memory before he died, so I need to fix up so I can talk to him before he dies. I don't even know if he's still alive atp, I hope he is.
So those are my plans. I'm not roping, I need to fix all this shit so in the future I can ascend, talk to my Dad, and go after FitxFearless for the damage he's caused to my life. There's no more point in making threads after this because "That's everything." I think this is the best way to tackle life in the position I'm in. The biggest rebuttal is "just move on." Then the videos stay up and I get no justice for the 4 months and everything. I should at least try to take down the official videos if I want to rebuild my reputation.
Aftermath of the Fitxfearless video:
Going on the Fitxfearless livecall destroyed my life on the same scale as taking drugs, because at least with drugs, millions of people don't know you're doing drugs. I didn't want my old classmates to know I use .is and .org, I didn't want them to know I was thinking about cosmetic surgery. Imagine your .org account got leaked to your entire school and you got called a loser on the internet for millions to see, with your face on a thumbnail next to an arrow "Never had sex" with the title "Here's why being an incel is ruining your life" for everyone to see. Negative Aura, that was fucking stupid. It still gets views and comments to this day. I don't know why I did that 4 months ago, at 17. I fell behind in University, stopped working out, suicidal thoughts, entire public reputation destroyed as I'm known as the nonNT incel lolcow amongst my University and brother's school, it fucked up my entire life. If I didn't go on that call, I wouldn't be a viral lolcow and I would have a relatively semi-normal life without millions of people seeing me be humiliated on the internet.
Who's fault is it?:
Obviously I was a dumbass at 17. I massively fucked up, the worst fuck up of my life. I joined a livestream, and technically that makes all of it his property, but I didn't know that. It's easy to say "You should have known, it's your fault inkwell", but there's more things to consider. There was no verification I was 21, and I wasn't explicitly told or even aware (from my own lack of research/context) that the video would be posted on all platforms for millions of people to see. And even if it my own fault, just let the videos stay up? The aftermath, was suicidal ideations, instagram dm's telling me to kill myself, a ruined reputation, texting/calling the suicide hotline for hours, crying, punching walls/doors in frustration. Things could have gotten really bad because of the virality of the video. If I was just a little more depressed, there would be a funeral and a news story.
My stance is it's my fault for going on the call, FitxFearless's fault for milking views off the public humiliation of a minor which destroyed my entire life and crafted this aftermath where I have to talk on .org because I have no friends now. If I should have made sure I knew that if I went on the call, it's all of his property, he should have asked for ID/made sure I was actually 21 before plastering me over the internet, making me a viral lolcow.
"Moving on":
I'm not going to kill myself, and I'm not going to hide from the world. I'll accept the hate and mockery everyday. If I truly moved on, I would delete my .org account, delete my online presence, name change, fly to Monaco and forget this all happened. But I'm not going to forget this happened. I'll accept people's insults, I'm not deleting my channel because I'm going to post videos in the future (years from now after my irl is fixed). I'm not changing my legal name either. If you oppose that, that shows the video massively fucked up my reputation, where I have to hide/leave the internet because "your personal reputation is over. Your name will always be associated with lolcow" and that is because of the FitxFearless video.
I'm going to looksmax. I don't want to surgerymax (as in make it a 5 - 10 year process), I want to make it a one and done. Get surgery once, and it's done. Otoplasty and rhinoplasty at the same time, if it's safe oto, rhino, and genio. Softmaxxing will be a process, I'll get surgery once and that will be my fully looksmaxxed state.
For that to happen I need to get my life on track, start developing study habits, get a part time job, start working out, wake up earlier, use a calendar, and I plan on getting my life together, but I don't view that as justice for the 4 months I lost, and the public humiliation. The way my nonNT brain works is there has to be something to justify something negative. I was called ugly, so looksmax, bullied in school which is why I hopped on the rp in the 1st place, but for this fitxfearless situation, even if it's my fault, where's the justice?
So my plan for the FitxFearless situation is mostly the same. My life was ruined by going on call, I will rebuild my life, but I'm going after him. All the insults, all the mockery, the public humiliation, justice isn't brought by "moving on." Justice is brought by compensation. I'm still going to report the videos, try to take them down, sue FitxFearless and that's motivation to fix my life. How can I get revenge against FitxFearless if I'm a broke fat loser? If I hate FitxFearless, then jerking off to porn and crying all day will make it so I can't get revenge. If I become a millionaire, then I could sue him and hire hackers to get his channel nuked. There's more possibilities if I get my life together. All this will be justified if I get after FitxFearless and I get something out of it. If the videos get removed, if he gives me money, if I get him to apologize. I need some kind of compensation because it ruined my entire life and public reputatin to the point where now I'm in this situation.
And even though legally the court said I can't talk to my Dad because my Mom placed a restraint against him for "abusive behavior", I need to talk to him, and I need to apologize for embarrassing his last name (because he probably saw the video). I want him to know the context. He's old, like 56, and he was overweight and already had health issues before. I really want to talk to him before he fucking dies as resolution, because if his last memory of "his son" is getting publicly humiliated, then that's pure ropefuel. If I neetmax and I have to listen to Mom, and he dies before I talk to him about it, then that's truly the biggest lost, bigger than all of the mockery and humiliation. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my Dad saw me as a fucking loser as his last memory before he died, so I need to fix up so I can talk to him before he dies. I don't even know if he's still alive atp, I hope he is.
So those are my plans. I'm not roping, I need to fix all this shit so in the future I can ascend, talk to my Dad, and go after FitxFearless for the damage he's caused to my life. There's no more point in making threads after this because "That's everything." I think this is the best way to tackle life in the position I'm in. The biggest rebuttal is "just move on." Then the videos stay up and I get no justice for the 4 months and everything. I should at least try to take down the official videos if I want to rebuild my reputation.
