ive always been behind socially

TopTierIncel42

TopTierIncel42

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It should not come to a shock that being nd is not the best cards to be dealt with. But i always tried to do the best i could.

Since middle school to try and joining group convos and make friends was to listen to what they were talking about and when i got home i would research about it and try to make similar jokes when i got back to school.

I have been doing this consistently for the past 3-4 years just so I dont fall behind socially and can be talked to without cringing. These people that i sit with, talk with, and eat with was just so that I didnt feel alone. I feel like a piece of shit fraud and I dont feel a true connection to anybody. (important to note that these so called people i talk to refuse to invite me to social outings but have the audacity to laugh everytime i say a joke.)

Am I weird for doing shit like this?
 
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Yeah you're weird for doing this, but that's fine. Have you considered doing your own things, hobbies and stuff?
I do have hobbies and things that i do. But when im with other people I change my story up completely. I even make up stories about my family just to seem interesting.
 
I do have hobbies and things that i do. But when im with other people I change my story up completely. I even make up stories about my family just to seem interesting.

Maybe you feel the need to make up stories because you feel good when you get the attention from it. What makes you feel like you're not interesting enough without the lies?
 
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Maybe you feel the need to make up stories because you feel good when you get the attention from it. What makes you feel like you're not interesting enough without the lies?
making other people laugh and smile makes me feel like a good person. The only reason I dont feel interesting is because my family background is just a big sob story.
 
making other people laugh and smile makes me feel like a good person. The only reason I dont feel interesting is because my family background is just a big sob story.

Seems like you're creating a vicious cycle for yourself, try to break it for a while and see how you feel. You can always return to it if you're not comfortable.
 
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Seems like you're creating a vicious cycle for yourself, try to break it for a while and see how you feel. You can always return to it if you're not comfortable.
ill try and report back.
 
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