Ive been farting wrong my whole life.

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aryan mogger

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I’ve been farting wrong my whole life

Okay maybe not "wrong" necessarily, but my whole life I've rarely been able to achieve an audible fart! All my boyfriends and roommates have poked fun at my farts because they just came out as like a tiny hissing noise. I was actually jealous of my partners who could release a mighty "BWAPPP" from their ass, because it's just funny. Farts are funny.

Anyway, I finally decided to ask my best friend her technique. Like what is she actually doing when she farts? Apparently I'm supposed to be clenching my b-hole when I push one out?! I've always just kinda relaxed and let it slip out. Which is why they don't make a sound!

I am proud to announce that I have joined the club of comedic tooters! My farts are funny, y'all. It's like an instrument, no two farts are alike. I really think I've found my calling. What do I do with this newfound power??
 
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