BigJimsWornOutTires
Kraken
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
- Posts
- 23,998
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It's that piece of shit infectious airborne STD, thus Covid. The doctor said, "Looks like it!" but I refused to take the test. However, I gave blood and urine, so they'll soon know the truth I've been concealing since 2019. It's a matter of time before they put the pieces together and discover I'm patient zero. It'll be big news, my nigga beans. They'll make me out as the bad guy. Don't believe them! I just wanted to share my Covid with the world. I meant no harm. Moreover, I was proud that I finally succeeded in something -- created a deadly virus by feeding dead rats to herpes-infected bats heavily intoxicated on fireball whiskey. Ugh.
It's jackhammering my lungs. Ngl. And not sure how much time I have left. A minute, an hour, two days and four hours and thirty-one minutes, a month, a year and three months, ten years, a hundred years, Benjamin Button reverse aging to one-month-old, I don't know, dammit!
But if it is what it is, and that portal of expiration opens to the sun tube, I'll climb aboard. Midway, between the moon and Mars, I'll jump off and pull myself to that planet. I intend to utilize every ounce of my phantasmal being to construct a substantial structure from the rocks, thereby enabling NASA to discover it and establish the possibility of intelligent life once flourishing there. Ah, yes, my final "Fuck You, Motherfuckers!"
