DharkDC
Streets don't love you
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2020
- Posts
- 8,663
- Reputation
- 19,271
Hi.
I will describe you my whole story, from it's beginning, till the end.
Yes, me normal regular guy in mid's 30 is victim how awful can porn industry be, and how nobody does not give a s***.
How it all begins, I was never thinking I was be able to do it, but it all starts kinda innocent. I used to using one dating application, I've talk with some very sympatic girl, we talked a lot, than comes some dirty talks and at the end she send me a nude. I was never thinking I would be able to do it, I know it's wrong and dangerous, but I send her few backs. To be honest with you, I kinda liked it. I suffer since my childhood from low self-esteem and I really liked that someone appreciate the photos I send her.
This was kinda breaking point in my life. Somehow I lost barriers in this direction.
Yeah attention is super addictive.
What happened next ? As with every addiction you simply want more and more, you cannot stop until you have it all.
As almost every single guy, I also watched porn from time to time. I really liked to visiting adult portal called chaturbate. On this website, you could watch thousands of amateurs camgirls, and back in the time, you could even stream yourself without any verification.
Stream yourself to 1000 of people who watch you... Kinda risky right ?
So I told my self, yeah, I will do not show my face, what worse could happened ? I've been never been so wrong in my life. Cause I do lot of sports, I have kinda fit body, I was able to get few tens of viewers even without showing my face. Dirty comments, compliments about my body, that everything boost your self-esteem right ?
I will do not lie again, I like it. But what addictive person wants ? Wants more ofc !
Next streams were not as successful as the first one, yeah the portal is set up to promote new performers and all the "old" meat suffer somewhere in the back. Ideal ending would be that here I realize WTF I am doing and stopped. But as I mention, it was super addictive.
So what do I do ? I showed my face to get more attention. I really did not thing straight. You could again except what happened, many viewers everything is great. It was like for the first show, second one and than again the attention started to decrease.
I want to just point out, I did not do it for money, I did not take a single penny from there, I did not set a single goal, I did it just for the attention.
So yeah, than I started to struggle again. Hopefully here comes the happy part, I started to realizing what the hell I am doing. The sobering up comes after like month and half. I cancel my account and decided to stop it totally. Finally good decision.
I decided to never told anybody about this, and try to forgot. But it was not so easy as I thought.
After like month from curiosity I googled my username what I used there and from what I saw my jam almost fall down. I wish I never do this search. I started to shaking crying, my entire world broke down. There was full internet of me. Few video rips, many images, total nightmare.
Ok. I told my self, f*** it, who will find out, internet is full of porn, why would someone look at it.I will let it be and it will eventually disappear. But it will not. After few months of letting this be, I have decided to take down the content what is there.
So yeah, you tell your self, it should be easy to remove, you just report it and the owner of the website will take it down. Again I hit so hard. No it does not work like that. Many of those files are hosted on so called "bulletproof" hosting providers. And those do not remove anything.
So what else you could do ? Check the chaturbate webpage, find DMCA removal, send them links they will tell you that they shift it to the hosting provider. You with full of joy opening beer, clapping your self over the shoulder. Than you check the link on following day, its still there, another day, still there and so on. You report them again still no success. You starting to be desperate, nothing help.
Panic and depression are started to became your daily routine, you suffer, thinking about it all day. What the hell I could do ? Nothing...
You asking yourself, how this could be possible, there are pages like cam*****.me where is literally almost every recording of chaturbate performance. They have like 45 Milion cam rips, you asknig your self, how is possible that noone do anything about this. Noone do anything because noone cares... I have the feeling that everybody except from innocent people is ok with this situation.
You check chaturbate terms and conditions and yeah, its mentioned there, "You might be recorded", might, not that your every moment will be captured and published online. You feel so violated, you want to commit suicide, you do not see any reasonable outcome from this situation..... Who in the hell would read 7 page document of terms where in one line is mentioned that you might be recorded...
Yes those are shits I think I will need to learn live with. I screw it up, but I think I am still proud person, so I do not want to hide behind my mistakes, I will rather tried face them with my head up.
Luckily, there are still good people who are willing to help. Here on reddit is great community of people who are ready to help and I am one of proud members of them. We are helping people with similar situation, help them to remove their materials, which have really serious impact on their life...
You might be asking, why I am all wrting this. I've decide to do some good thing and I am trying to spread knowledge about this topic. I did not found any article on the web, who would be dedicated to this problematic.
During last few months, I addressed many journalist with this topic, if they would not be be interested in sharing some stories I been in touch, or we all facing because of this.
But so far, without any luck... But definitely, I do not complain, I will continue in my persistency, until it will be spread with whole world.
I know, I was naive, but I think everybody have right, right to be forgotten. Even if it could be funny in this age of internet, because what is once there, is there forever, but still at least decrease impact what such a bad decision could have on our lives.
I am not sure if you like it or not, but if you find it at least little interesting, please share it to your relatives, if you know someone who might be able to help, share it with him also
I will be more than grateful.
Thanks for all
I will describe you my whole story, from it's beginning, till the end.
Yes, me normal regular guy in mid's 30 is victim how awful can porn industry be, and how nobody does not give a s***.
How it all begins, I was never thinking I was be able to do it, but it all starts kinda innocent. I used to using one dating application, I've talk with some very sympatic girl, we talked a lot, than comes some dirty talks and at the end she send me a nude. I was never thinking I would be able to do it, I know it's wrong and dangerous, but I send her few backs. To be honest with you, I kinda liked it. I suffer since my childhood from low self-esteem and I really liked that someone appreciate the photos I send her.
This was kinda breaking point in my life. Somehow I lost barriers in this direction.
Yeah attention is super addictive.
What happened next ? As with every addiction you simply want more and more, you cannot stop until you have it all.
As almost every single guy, I also watched porn from time to time. I really liked to visiting adult portal called chaturbate. On this website, you could watch thousands of amateurs camgirls, and back in the time, you could even stream yourself without any verification.
Stream yourself to 1000 of people who watch you... Kinda risky right ?
So I told my self, yeah, I will do not show my face, what worse could happened ? I've been never been so wrong in my life. Cause I do lot of sports, I have kinda fit body, I was able to get few tens of viewers even without showing my face. Dirty comments, compliments about my body, that everything boost your self-esteem right ?
I will do not lie again, I like it. But what addictive person wants ? Wants more ofc !
Next streams were not as successful as the first one, yeah the portal is set up to promote new performers and all the "old" meat suffer somewhere in the back. Ideal ending would be that here I realize WTF I am doing and stopped. But as I mention, it was super addictive.
So what do I do ? I showed my face to get more attention. I really did not thing straight. You could again except what happened, many viewers everything is great. It was like for the first show, second one and than again the attention started to decrease.
I want to just point out, I did not do it for money, I did not take a single penny from there, I did not set a single goal, I did it just for the attention.
So yeah, than I started to struggle again. Hopefully here comes the happy part, I started to realizing what the hell I am doing. The sobering up comes after like month and half. I cancel my account and decided to stop it totally. Finally good decision.
I decided to never told anybody about this, and try to forgot. But it was not so easy as I thought.
After like month from curiosity I googled my username what I used there and from what I saw my jam almost fall down. I wish I never do this search. I started to shaking crying, my entire world broke down. There was full internet of me. Few video rips, many images, total nightmare.
Ok. I told my self, f*** it, who will find out, internet is full of porn, why would someone look at it.I will let it be and it will eventually disappear. But it will not. After few months of letting this be, I have decided to take down the content what is there.
So yeah, you tell your self, it should be easy to remove, you just report it and the owner of the website will take it down. Again I hit so hard. No it does not work like that. Many of those files are hosted on so called "bulletproof" hosting providers. And those do not remove anything.
So what else you could do ? Check the chaturbate webpage, find DMCA removal, send them links they will tell you that they shift it to the hosting provider. You with full of joy opening beer, clapping your self over the shoulder. Than you check the link on following day, its still there, another day, still there and so on. You report them again still no success. You starting to be desperate, nothing help.
Panic and depression are started to became your daily routine, you suffer, thinking about it all day. What the hell I could do ? Nothing...
You asking yourself, how this could be possible, there are pages like cam*****.me where is literally almost every recording of chaturbate performance. They have like 45 Milion cam rips, you asknig your self, how is possible that noone do anything about this. Noone do anything because noone cares... I have the feeling that everybody except from innocent people is ok with this situation.
You check chaturbate terms and conditions and yeah, its mentioned there, "You might be recorded", might, not that your every moment will be captured and published online. You feel so violated, you want to commit suicide, you do not see any reasonable outcome from this situation..... Who in the hell would read 7 page document of terms where in one line is mentioned that you might be recorded...
Yes those are shits I think I will need to learn live with. I screw it up, but I think I am still proud person, so I do not want to hide behind my mistakes, I will rather tried face them with my head up.
Luckily, there are still good people who are willing to help. Here on reddit is great community of people who are ready to help and I am one of proud members of them. We are helping people with similar situation, help them to remove their materials, which have really serious impact on their life...
You might be asking, why I am all wrting this. I've decide to do some good thing and I am trying to spread knowledge about this topic. I did not found any article on the web, who would be dedicated to this problematic.
During last few months, I addressed many journalist with this topic, if they would not be be interested in sharing some stories I been in touch, or we all facing because of this.
But so far, without any luck... But definitely, I do not complain, I will continue in my persistency, until it will be spread with whole world.
I know, I was naive, but I think everybody have right, right to be forgotten. Even if it could be funny in this age of internet, because what is once there, is there forever, but still at least decrease impact what such a bad decision could have on our lives.
I am not sure if you like it or not, but if you find it at least little interesting, please share it to your relatives, if you know someone who might be able to help, share it with him also
I will be more than grateful.Thanks for all
