I’ve been “working on myself” my entire life,

[Orc]

but most of the time it feels like trying to fix something that was only ever considered broken because the world decided it was.

you read all the right books, how to phrase things better, how to mimic confidence, how to pass for someone lovable, but literally none of it gives you a self that people want to stay close to, at best, you’re rehearsing echoes of normalcy, at worst, you’re just confirming what you already feared, that the world was never going to make space for someone like you.

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

and that’s the part people don’t see, they say “just be more confident” or “believe in yourself” like that hasn’t already been tried a hundred times, but it’s not just about insecurity, it’s perceptual dissonance, you do everything “right,” but people still feel something’s off, that’s the uncanny valley of being wired differently, you’re blurry to them, no matter how clearly you try to show up.

you internalize the failure, at first you’re just confused, then ashamed, not because you hate yourself, but because the world teaches you that being you is a problem, you start to believe it, over time, it chips away at you, in school, at work, in every interaction, and even if you’re surviving, it’s not because the system helped you, it’s because you got used to bleeding in silence.

I used to wish I was “normal,” but I think what I really wanted was to be seen, to be treated like I mattered without needing to shapeshift, to not have everything I am reduced to a label that lets others stop seeing me as a person.

and yes, I’ve had moments of progress, little sparks of “maybe this will help” but they never seem to stick, once the heartbreak fades, or the crisis calms down, I always end up back in the same place, unwanted, misunderstood, not because I’m not trying, but because the kind of work I’m doing isn’t about thriving, it’s about surviving in a world that never made room for people like me.

so when people say “autism ruined your life,” and expect a silver lining, they miss the point, it’s not about bitterness, it’s grief, for the life I never got to have, for the person I might’ve been, if the world hadn’t decided I was wrong before I even had the chance to be whole.

 

[Wombles]

You've been working on getting dick in your ass gay boy

 

[Drugsmaxxer]

You've been working on getting dick in your ass gay boy

Nigga stop talking big with your avi and profile banner

 

[Orc]

You've been working on getting dick in your ass gay boy

I wish that was what I’d been working on, would’ve been a lot more fulfilling than all this existential grief and emotional excavation.

 

[Wombles]

Nigga stop talking big with your avi and profile banner

Stop jerking off to it and then hating on me when u have post nut clarity .

 

[Drugsmaxxer]

Stop jerking off to it and then hating on me when u have post nut clarity .

 

[160cmcurry]

HIGH RN

 

[yue]

but most of the time it feels like trying to fix something that was only ever considered broken because the world decided it was.

you read all the right books, how to phrase things better, how to mimic confidence, how to pass for someone lovable, but literally none of it gives you a self that people want to stay close to, at best, you’re rehearsing echoes of normalcy, at worst, you’re just confirming what you already feared, that the world was never going to make space for someone like you.

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

and that’s the part people don’t see, they say “just be more confident” or “believe in yourself” like that hasn’t already been tried a hundred times, but it’s not just about insecurity, it’s perceptual dissonance, you do everything “right,” but people still feel something’s off, that’s the uncanny valley of being wired differently, you’re blurry to them, no matter how clearly you try to show up.

you internalize the failure, at first you’re just confused, then ashamed, not because you hate yourself, but because the world teaches you that being you is a problem, you start to believe it, over time, it chips away at you, in school, at work, in every interaction, and even if you’re surviving, it’s not because the system helped you, it’s because you got used to bleeding in silence.

I used to wish I was “normal,” but I think what I really wanted was to be seen, to be treated like I mattered without needing to shapeshift, to not have everything I am reduced to a label that lets others stop seeing me as a person.

and yes, I’ve had moments of progress, little sparks of “maybe this will help” but they never seem to stick, once the heartbreak fades, or the crisis calms down, I always end up back in the same place, unwanted, misunderstood, not because I’m not trying, but because the kind of work I’m doing isn’t about thriving, it’s about surviving in a world that never made room for people like me.

so when people say “autism ruined your life,” and expect a silver lining, they miss the point, it’s not about bitterness, it’s grief, for the life I never got to have, for the person I might’ve been, if the world hadn’t decided I was wrong before I even had the chance to be whole.

You're a lonely guy

 

[Orc]

HIGH RN

i can’t even get high anymore without my lungs filing a formal complaint, i take one hit and suddenly i’m in a victorian sickbed coughing into a lace handkerchief like the consumption is back, weed used to chill me out, now it just turns me into a victorian child named eliot who hasn’t seen a summer in three years

 

[160cmcurry]

i can’t even get high anymore without my lungs filing a formal complaint, i take one hit and suddenly i’m in a victorian sickbed coughing into a lace handkerchief like oh dear, the consumption is back, weed used to chill me out, now it just turns me into a victorian child named eliot who hasn’t seen a summer in three years

I TOLD a lot of things to these group of people, some cute goth girl that WAS A WHITEPASSING ETHNIC, THIS TALL WHITR GUY AND THIS OTHER GUY TOO

 

[160cmcurry]

I TOLD a lot of things to these group of people, some cute goth girl that WAS A WHITEPASSING ETHNIC, THIS TALL WHITR GUY AND THIS OTHER GUY TOO

THEY CAME TK HELP ME

 

[The Homelander]

hopefully in the future there will be a cure for autism with gene therapy

 

[The Homelander]

hopefully in the future there will be a cure for autism with gene therapy

possibly maybe even in our lifetime

 

[Beastimmung]

Why is every so-called "Chad" on here a massive lolcow? @Vincent Freeman

 

[NVM_Ignacio]

but most of the time it feels like trying to fix something that was only ever considered broken because the world decided it was.

you read all the right books, how to phrase things better, how to mimic confidence, how to pass for someone lovable, but literally none of it gives you a self that people want to stay close to, at best, you’re rehearsing echoes of normalcy, at worst, you’re just confirming what you already feared, that the world was never going to make space for someone like you.

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

and that’s the part people don’t see, they say “just be more confident” or “believe in yourself” like that hasn’t already been tried a hundred times, but it’s not just about insecurity, it’s perceptual dissonance, you do everything “right,” but people still feel something’s off, that’s the uncanny valley of being wired differently, you’re blurry to them, no matter how clearly you try to show up.

you internalize the failure, at first you’re just confused, then ashamed, not because you hate yourself, but because the world teaches you that being you is a problem, you start to believe it, over time, it chips away at you, in school, at work, in every interaction, and even if you’re surviving, it’s not because the system helped you, it’s because you got used to bleeding in silence.

I used to wish I was “normal,” but I think what I really wanted was to be seen, to be treated like I mattered without needing to shapeshift, to not have everything I am reduced to a label that lets others stop seeing me as a person.

and yes, I’ve had moments of progress, little sparks of “maybe this will help” but they never seem to stick, once the heartbreak fades, or the crisis calms down, I always end up back in the same place, unwanted, misunderstood, not because I’m not trying, but because the kind of work I’m doing isn’t about thriving, it’s about surviving in a world that never made room for people like me.

so when people say “autism ruined your life,” and expect a silver lining, they miss the point, it’s not about bitterness, it’s grief, for the life I never got to have, for the person I might’ve been, if the world hadn’t decided I was wrong before I even had the chance to be whole.

High iq

 

[Orc]

hopefully in the future there will be a cure for autism with gene therapy

if they drop a gene therapy tomorrow, i’m first in line, no hesitation. i’d boof that cure even if it wiped half my personality, because what’s left right now mostly feels like pain and patchwork anyway.

people love to romanticize neurodivergence when they’re not the ones living it, but they don’t see the years of alienation, the friendships that never stuck, the work environments that chipped away at your soul, or the constant second guessing of every reaction just to survive social spaces

I want ease, even if it costs me some of what makes me me, because maybe then, what's left could finally breathe.

 

[Shahnameh]

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

Is it really autism or a lifetime of negative reinforcement

 

[The Homelander]

if they drop a gene therapy tomorrow, i’m first in line, no hesitation. i’d boof that cure even if it wiped half my personality, because what’s left right now mostly feels like pain and patchwork anyway.

people love to romanticize neurodivergence when they’re not the ones living it, but they don’t see the years of alienation, the friendships that never stuck, the work environments that chipped away at your soul, or the constant second guessing of every reaction just to survive social spaces

I want ease, even if it costs me some of what makes me me, because maybe then, what's left could finally breathe.

I’m second in line then. Nobody understands that neurodivergence isn’t just a diversity it’s a disability even if you are high functioning.

 

[Orc]

Is it really autism or a lifetime of negative reinforcement

they're the same thing

autism isn't just a "condition" sitting separate from the world, it’s a lifetime of negative reinforcement that shapes how you experience it, the world treats you like you’re wrong, and eventually, you internalize that.

autism and the trauma from being constantly misunderstood or rejected are two sides of the same coin, the wiring might be different, but the impact of constant rejection and mistreatment makes it hard to even figure out where the autism ends and the trauma starts.

 

[lifeless]

Okay, want a cookie?

 

[trashbinxoxo]

Why is every so-called "Chad" on here a massive lolcow? @Vincent Freeman

They've all gone insane

 

[Shahnameh]

they're the same thing

autism isn't just a "condition" sitting separate from the world, it’s a lifetime of negative reinforcement that shapes how you experience it, the world treats you like you’re wrong, and eventually, you internalize that.

autism and the trauma from being constantly misunderstood or rejected are two sides of the same coin, the wiring might be different, but the impact of constant rejection and mistreatment makes it hard to even figure out where the autism ends and the trauma starts.

The issue with autism is, its too broad. Everything defined as autism is also found in socially akwward or bullied people.

That's the issue. You also have some autists who can't even speak and have oanic attacks when they turn on a light bulb but others like Elon Musk who are high functioning.

I just wonder if autism is even real or its a broad term for a bunch of unrelated issues

 

[asinabuser]

but most of the time it feels like trying to fix something that was only ever considered broken because the world decided it was.

you read all the right books, how to phrase things better, how to mimic confidence, how to pass for someone lovable, but literally none of it gives you a self that people want to stay close to, at best, you’re rehearsing echoes of normalcy, at worst, you’re just confirming what you already feared, that the world was never going to make space for someone like you.

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

and that’s the part people don’t see, they say “just be more confident” or “believe in yourself” like that hasn’t already been tried a hundred times, but it’s not just about insecurity, it’s perceptual dissonance, you do everything “right,” but people still feel something’s off, that’s the uncanny valley of being wired differently, you’re blurry to them, no matter how clearly you try to show up.

you internalize the failure, at first you’re just confused, then ashamed, not because you hate yourself, but because the world teaches you that being you is a problem, you start to believe it, over time, it chips away at you, in school, at work, in every interaction, and even if you’re surviving, it’s not because the system helped you, it’s because you got used to bleeding in silence.

I used to wish I was “normal,” but I think what I really wanted was to be seen, to be treated like I mattered without needing to shapeshift, to not have everything I am reduced to a label that lets others stop seeing me as a person.

and yes, I’ve had moments of progress, little sparks of “maybe this will help” but they never seem to stick, once the heartbreak fades, or the crisis calms down, I always end up back in the same place, unwanted, misunderstood, not because I’m not trying, but because the kind of work I’m doing isn’t about thriving, it’s about surviving in a world that never made room for people like me.

so when people say “autism ruined your life,” and expect a silver lining, they miss the point, it’s not about bitterness, it’s grief, for the life I never got to have, for the person I might’ve been, if the world hadn’t decided I was wrong before I even had the chance to be whole.

why don't you look into propranolol, it had improved language and social behaviors during treatment on ASD individuals, it also reversed the impairments in problem solving induced by psychosocial stressors. its helps in a lot more ways too why don't u chck it out

 

[Pento]

Ov

but most of the time it feels like trying to fix something that was only ever considered broken because the world decided it was.

you read all the right books, how to phrase things better, how to mimic confidence, how to pass for someone lovable, but literally none of it gives you a self that people want to stay close to, at best, you’re rehearsing echoes of normalcy, at worst, you’re just confirming what you already feared, that the world was never going to make space for someone like you.

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

and that’s the part people don’t see, they say “just be more confident” or “believe in yourself” like that hasn’t already been tried a hundred times, but it’s not just about insecurity, it’s perceptual dissonance, you do everything “right,” but people still feel something’s off, that’s the uncanny valley of being wired differently, you’re blurry to them, no matter how clearly you try to show up.

you internalize the failure, at first you’re just confused, then ashamed, not because you hate yourself, but because the world teaches you that being you is a problem, you start to believe it, over time, it chips away at you, in school, at work, in every interaction, and even if you’re surviving, it’s not because the system helped you, it’s because you got used to bleeding in silence.

I used to wish I was “normal,” but I think what I really wanted was to be seen, to be treated like I mattered without needing to shapeshift, to not have everything I am reduced to a label that lets others stop seeing me as a person.

and yes, I’ve had moments of progress, little sparks of “maybe this will help” but they never seem to stick, once the heartbreak fades, or the crisis calms down, I always end up back in the same place, unwanted, misunderstood, not because I’m not trying, but because the kind of work I’m doing isn’t about thriving, it’s about surviving in a world that never made room for people like me.

so when people say “autism ruined your life,” and expect a silver lining, they miss the point, it’s not about bitterness, it’s grief, for the life I never got to have, for the person I might’ve been, if the world hadn’t decided I was wrong before I even had the chance to be whole.

Overthinking 101; life is not that important and serious

 

[camondo88]

I feel you man. Feel the same too sometimes. If it means anything, you help a lot of people on here.
You call yourself unloveable here all the time. Does it ever get awkward before you and your partner because of that? I feel like if someone I was with said that I'd just fuck off, like ok guess you don't need me then, there's no future here for me. I know the whole "just be confident" thing is cope and impossible to actually do, but it kind of feels like you're proactively blocking your blessings with that one word. Have you tried going a month or even a week without saying it? It feels like you give yourself all your cynicism, but if you looked around more they'd be a lot of other things and people that deserved it too.

 

[Orc]

Does it ever get awkward before you and your partner because of that? I feel like if someone I was with said that I'd just fuck off, like ok guess you don't need me then, there's no future here for me. I

there's more to it, they're basically part of the reason right now.

 

[CorinthianLOX]

hopefully in the future there will be a cure for autism with gene therapy

Crispr

 

[It'snotover]

It’s pretty reletable for most users here, I think. Regardless of looks level being ND sucks hard, you can fake being NT but you will never be really it like people who are born that way. And faking it drains lots of your energies.

 

[wishIwasSalludon]

You've been working on getting dick in your ass gay boy

Ur avi is 100% ntr I can just tell

 

[Wombles]

Ur avi is 100% ntr I can just tell

It's the first ntr edgy hentai I jerked off too it has a special place in my heart.

 

[Foreverbrad]

I think pleasing normies is more about social proof than anything you say or do. Obviously these things contribute over time but the main calculus in their brains - obviously subconsciously - is:

“Does interacting with this person raise or lower my status in the group”

I don’t know about your level of social proof but for me it’s better just to not even try to engage with normies. Speak when spoken to, don’t have opinions, just agree with them. You’ll never earn their respect by being edgy or disagreeable.

 

[R@m@]

Autism is like you can see the nt side of you and the nt emotions but you find it weird or get mad at it for some reason

Do you feel like this? @Orc

 

[sub5outsider]

how Orc feels when he posts a thread

 

[Surfsup]

Because you have a spiritual void
Become muslim

 

[Cleetus Cornfield]

Because you have a spiritual void
Become muslim

hes too high IQ (anything above 70) to convert to Islam.

 

[Shinichi]

i can’t even get high anymore without my lungs filing a formal complaint, i take one hit and suddenly i’m in a victorian sickbed coughing into a lace handkerchief like the consumption is back, weed used to chill me out, now it just turns me into a victorian child named eliot who hasn’t seen a summer in three years

U mog me to the moon, yet you think this way? I dont think u deserve sympathy. Go and kill yourself

 

[alexander57]

We can fake being NT and fitting into social groups but inside we are autistic asf . it takes a lot of my energy and discipline to contain my autistic side and there have even been times when I've cut ties with quite a few people just because I no longer have the energy to maintain the relationship. sometimes we just want to be the "real" us but we can't afford it for obvious reasons. We deal with it and cope, we just don't have a choice

 

[Vultus Tui Res]

but most of the time it feels like trying to fix something that was only ever considered broken because the world decided it was.

you read all the right books, how to phrase things better, how to mimic confidence, how to pass for someone lovable, but literally none of it gives you a self that people want to stay close to, at best, you’re rehearsing echoes of normalcy, at worst, you’re just confirming what you already feared, that the world was never going to make space for someone like you.

being autistic in a world that responds with confusion, rejection, and systemic failure doesn’t just cause trauma, it is trauma, people treat autism and trauma like they’re separate lanes, but when you grow up untreated, misdiagnosed, and constantly punished just for existing, the trauma becomes your operating system, you don't get to know where one ends and the other begins

and that’s the part people don’t see, they say “just be more confident” or “believe in yourself” like that hasn’t already been tried a hundred times, but it’s not just about insecurity, it’s perceptual dissonance, you do everything “right,” but people still feel something’s off, that’s the uncanny valley of being wired differently, you’re blurry to them, no matter how clearly you try to show up.

you internalize the failure, at first you’re just confused, then ashamed, not because you hate yourself, but because the world teaches you that being you is a problem, you start to believe it, over time, it chips away at you, in school, at work, in every interaction, and even if you’re surviving, it’s not because the system helped you, it’s because you got used to bleeding in silence.

I used to wish I was “normal,” but I think what I really wanted was to be seen, to be treated like I mattered without needing to shapeshift, to not have everything I am reduced to a label that lets others stop seeing me as a person.

and yes, I’ve had moments of progress, little sparks of “maybe this will help” but they never seem to stick, once the heartbreak fades, or the crisis calms down, I always end up back in the same place, unwanted, misunderstood, not because I’m not trying, but because the kind of work I’m doing isn’t about thriving, it’s about surviving in a world that never made room for people like me.

so when people say “autism ruined your life,” and expect a silver lining, they miss the point, it’s not about bitterness, it’s grief, for the life I never got to have, for the person I might’ve been, if the world hadn’t decided I was wrong before I even had the chance to be whole.

Unc, this is real asf, it is unfortunate that this world has come to be like this.

You see the world for what it truly is and nothing can change that, maybe in another life it wasn’t meant to be like this…

Take care unc and .

 

[SwissArms]

tales from Eindhoven

 

[The Homelander]

Crispr

What about it? That isnt advanced enough to cure autism yet. Not anywhere close to it either

I’d say the most common gene therapy available right now is follistatin therapy

 

[Surfsup]

hes too high IQ (anything above 70) to convert to Islam.

Over for atheists

 

[tuberculosisinmybal]

Relatable thread as always

 

[bimaxmaxxer]

I just wonder if autism is even real or its a broad term for a bunch of unrelated issues

most people just call it autism if someone acts like a retard, even for fun


and you can have people who are full blown autists but you can't really tell because they are hiding it too good and they don't make it their whole personality.

 

[afroheadluke]

HIGH RN

???????????????????WTF