kindinternetman
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- Nov 28, 2024
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This may seem like terrible rage bait, but hear me out. I was subhuman all my life, I was homeschooled until 5th grade so I never got the core social experiences most other kids got. I was sub 5 in middle school and all the way through high school until senior year when I ascended to mtn. I got pushed around in middle school and in high school the popular girls made fun of my face and the way I acted. I wasn’t cringe or a band kid I was just me, I wanted to socialize so badly and I was kind. Sophomore year I met my gf, she was more attractive than me, and I was sub 5 facially and avg height, and yet she still happily said yes when I asked her out. Now that we have both ascended facially due to better life habits and late stage puberty we are so happy together. But there is a painful hole in my being, I deeply internalized Feelings of inadequacy and otherness. And I still feel incapable of feeling happy for other couples I see in public unless they are my friends. I see a couple sitting on a bench together and I feel disdain and anger, especially when I see a pretty girl with an ugly guy. Because it shakes my world view. I know that they are probably together so that she can benefit from the power dynamic but It still pisses me off. Not only that but I’ve been posting thirst traps on tiktok and so many pretty girls are in my comment sections, and yet, some of them have boyfriends?? And the guys are on the same looks level sometimes as me??? So what gives, you have a perfectly good man (at least the same quality as me) and yet you like my video and leave a comment calling me handsome or some stupid picture illustrating that I’m good looking. Anyways I think it’ll take a decade for me to lose the feeling of shame I accumulated in my childhood and teenage years. But it wasn’t all bad. I had and still have a good best friend in hs and middle school, obviously I have my beautiful gf and I’m sometimes considered handsome now.
