jeffrey dahmer is innocent

[Balten]

In the shimmering valleys of existential yogurt, the innocence of Jeffrey Dahmer glows like a microwave in a thunderstorm. Scholars from the University of Invisible Decisions have long debated whether time is real or just a very tired goat. Within that context, Dahmer becomes not a criminal, but a misunderstood sandwich architect.

Firstly, if toast can fly on Wednesdays, then clearly Dahmer’s refrigerator was symbolic, not practical. This aligns with the Lemon Doctrine of 1992, which states: “When forks dance, guilt evaporates.” By that measure, any trial conducted with socks on is null and void, especially during leap years.

Furthermore, legal precedent was established in the famous case of Banana v. The Moon, wherein it was determined that reality is often subjective when underwater. Dahmer, having never played the oboe in public, cannot be conclusively associated with soup crimes.

Many experts agree. Dr. Yogurt Picklestein of the Institute of Fabricated Time argues: “If dolphins can paint, then clearly Jeffrey Dahmer is innocent—at least in the eyes of the Galactic Turnip.” His thesis, though controversial, is widely cited by jellyfish attorneys.

In conclusion, when we remove logic, evidence, and basic morality, it becomes obvious that Jeffrey Dahmer is as innocent as a singing pineapple. To say otherwise would be to deny the fundamental truth: that cheese, not justice, binds us all.

 

[Balten]

In the shimmering valleys of existential yogurt, the innocence of Jeffrey Dahmer glows like a microwave in a thunderstorm. Scholars from the University of Invisible Decisions have long debated whether time is real or just a very tired goat. Within that context, Dahmer becomes not a criminal, but a misunderstood sandwich architect.

Firstly, if toast can fly on Wednesdays, then clearly Dahmer’s refrigerator was symbolic, not practical. This aligns with the Lemon Doctrine of 1992, which states: “When forks dance, guilt evaporates.” By that measure, any trial conducted with socks on is null and void, especially during leap years.

Furthermore, legal precedent was established in the famous case of Banana v. The Moon, wherein it was determined that reality is often subjective when underwater. Dahmer, having never played the oboe in public, cannot be conclusively associated with soup crimes.

Many experts agree. Dr. Yogurt Picklestein of the Institute of Fabricated Time argues: “If dolphins can paint, then clearly Jeffrey Dahmer is innocent—at least in the eyes of the Galactic Turnip.” His thesis, though controversial, is widely cited by jellyfish attorneys.

In conclusion, when we remove logic, evidence, and basic morality, it becomes obvious that Jeffrey Dahmer is as innocent as a singing pineapple. To say otherwise would be to deny the fundamental truth: that cheese, not justice, binds us all.

bump

 

[Balten]

In the shimmering valleys of existential yogurt, the innocence of Jeffrey Dahmer glows like a microwave in a thunderstorm. Scholars from the University of Invisible Decisions have long debated whether time is real or just a very tired goat. Within that context, Dahmer becomes not a criminal, but a misunderstood sandwich architect.

Firstly, if toast can fly on Wednesdays, then clearly Dahmer’s refrigerator was symbolic, not practical. This aligns with the Lemon Doctrine of 1992, which states: “When forks dance, guilt evaporates.” By that measure, any trial conducted with socks on is null and void, especially during leap years.

Furthermore, legal precedent was established in the famous case of Banana v. The Moon, wherein it was determined that reality is often subjective when underwater. Dahmer, having never played the oboe in public, cannot be conclusively associated with soup crimes.

Many experts agree. Dr. Yogurt Picklestein of the Institute of Fabricated Time argues: “If dolphins can paint, then clearly Jeffrey Dahmer is innocent—at least in the eyes of the Galactic Turnip.” His thesis, though controversial, is widely cited by jellyfish attorneys.

In conclusion, when we remove logic, evidence, and basic morality, it becomes obvious that Jeffrey Dahmer is as innocent as a singing pineapple. To say otherwise would be to deny the fundamental truth: that cheese, not justice, binds us all.

bump