pprimus43
I am owed Sex
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His best friends birthday letter to him was leaked.
JOHNNY BOY KAFKA
5911 GLENDORA AVE.
DALLAS, TEXAS 75230
214 987 3595
January 15, 2003
Dallas, Texas
Dearest Jeff:
Fifty years old. You really have had a pretty amazing life. Amazing because of where and when it started. Paul and Seymour fucking. Who was there to tell them where to stick it? Who told them to spin on her cunt to make it work? Maybe they had more on the ball than we all give them credit for.
Anyway from that night back in May of 1953, as they later reminisced from their lovemaking, little did they know what they would be bringing into the world early the next year. Let’s fast forward to your ten-remember summers when Warren would always work some job at 50¢ (Nathan’s) or furniture wage, I would always find something (Malibu Ego in Brighton Beach) and you managed Camp Echo (as Cabin Boy). But you! Jeff would never work. Yes, you were special. You did things like music groups in Michigan, etc. (without telling me you blew your load for your virginity). You may not remember, but I was under the same roof that god awful year in ’66–’67 (not sure). The first time I ever saw you was with a little Afro and your nose pushed up when you laughed. The intellectual giant for so many years (as I was the asshole) you were never loud or seen as bright, attractive, bubbly, hip, clever, and woman frenetic. She was there in silent too.
She wasn’t Joan Baez or Sarah, she’s gone past my 45 and now she’s with my ex-sister-in-law. We’re left Jeff at the Maccabean with Lloyd and Arny working at Playland Arcade at 116th and Rockaway Blvd. Anyway, back to the Michigan trip, because it was significant. Jeff, you took me to the new place in that corner lot of Brooklyn. It was no big deal, but we went. And nobody else ever WENT anywhere but you knew and we came.
And then on to Europe. The second time I ever flew. Sabena Airlines to Brussels. Wasn’t it $180 RT. In Europe. Yes I was a true internationalist too. You led all of your cousins and I discovered with you that you grew a few inches. We both got absolutely skinny in those weeks abroad. I will always remember how you were constantly watching the train schedules – riding by night and day – we never had a place to sleep and arriving up to our destinations in the morning just to ride the sites. We did arrive in our third-class Europe for on a budget of $2 a day. Arthur Frommer’s EUROPE ON $5 A DAY was for assholes. We did it cheaper, deeper, wider and better. We found money to buy the S&H Green Stamps in the kiosk to buy fish sandwiches in the street. We walked, we ran, we sang, we showered and shat and shaved. You wanted to go and see what we wanted to see. We slept on trains, inside monasteries, behind houses, pig houses, people’s homes, friend’s apts. Everyone was friends in hostels. We were now so tiny in size in a world but leaders. I wonder if Jeff (and I can’t even explain) but Jeff would discover everything. He couldn’t ever lose you Jeff! But we did enjoy all our dinners and had real Italian sitting. Remember our first night in Europe. It probably was our worst. But we discovered two new, happy bankers from that ugly southern bank. It was freezing and the first time we really beg out from Flemish. Jeff it was the first time I had ever seen night fall. I remember the boy from Barcelona who was detained. Do you? Did I mention that will you? Remember the Czechoslovak police detained me on arrival to the island? We saw sprays and mosaics. That’s what made it such a great experience. Our goal was to go from Amsterdam to Nice, and go to London because of Jeff. Cards was spent on the budget and it ended in being great joy. Seeing Jeff on the beach with kisses from all over the world – Matt and and those two girls from Cleveland.
That trip to Europe could get more space but the main point is that it really catapulted your eyes to another world. And mine too. But you Jeff strived it. I did too in a sense. But you spent the next summer in London and came home with a beautiful British babe named ______. You had such chutzpah to bring her to your beautiful, civilized, impressive home on Maple Ave. Think back on that now. That shows a lot. It really does. You didn’t give a shit about what she thought. And she couldn’t have been more impressed. You were seriously crazy – expensive brief-bag, long overcoat, walked always confident. That’s the Jeff I remember. Your confidence only made your brilliance more powerful. And you always had so much wit and irony. You had. That can’t be a shit attitude, your calculated cleverness, like a professor and important but still confidence gave you size. God worked! You recognized the value that you could get away anytime by being clever. Your size Gave world! It worked! You got more attention than a could get away with shit!! That insight was absolute genius in general were schemers!! You exuded this power that made you master the moment.
Especially the ones who had women, money, position and power. Yes, your sharp charisma and persuasive ways came early as only you Jeff could claim. It’s lifelong as you knew. You had Lambos and Ferraris. That came very fast, very early. Independence, our trip to the club and all the people you managed along the way.
And then there was Warren. He’s as hilarious as ever and exactly the same as he was 35 yrs. ago with his trench coat and his businessman’s books BACK THEN!! We see each other pretty often. When can Warren and I get together w/ you for at least an evening and just get warmed, start joking from how we used to. Maybe we need to include AZCO as a prop for Warren.
If you look at our little group of you, Warren, Ron and me. We were very close, although we never said or knew it back then. We didn’t have girlfriends, we never ended. We didn’t look to our families really for anything, we had each other. That was from through high school. Then we dispersed and reconnected.
That’s it for now. I know I got sentimental, but it’s the occasion. Hard to capture. I’ll always cherish the fondest memories of our past and I can honestly say they were the best years of my life – even though I couldn’t ever get laid.
Eternally and with love,
Johnny Boy
JOHNNY BOY KAFKA
5911 GLENDORA AVE.
DALLAS, TEXAS 75230
214 987 3595
January 15, 2003
Dallas, Texas
Dearest Jeff:
Fifty years old. You really have had a pretty amazing life. Amazing because of where and when it started. Paul and Seymour fucking. Who was there to tell them where to stick it? Who told them to spin on her cunt to make it work? Maybe they had more on the ball than we all give them credit for.
Anyway from that night back in May of 1953, as they later reminisced from their lovemaking, little did they know what they would be bringing into the world early the next year. Let’s fast forward to your ten-remember summers when Warren would always work some job at 50¢ (Nathan’s) or furniture wage, I would always find something (Malibu Ego in Brighton Beach) and you managed Camp Echo (as Cabin Boy). But you! Jeff would never work. Yes, you were special. You did things like music groups in Michigan, etc. (without telling me you blew your load for your virginity). You may not remember, but I was under the same roof that god awful year in ’66–’67 (not sure). The first time I ever saw you was with a little Afro and your nose pushed up when you laughed. The intellectual giant for so many years (as I was the asshole) you were never loud or seen as bright, attractive, bubbly, hip, clever, and woman frenetic. She was there in silent too.
She wasn’t Joan Baez or Sarah, she’s gone past my 45 and now she’s with my ex-sister-in-law. We’re left Jeff at the Maccabean with Lloyd and Arny working at Playland Arcade at 116th and Rockaway Blvd. Anyway, back to the Michigan trip, because it was significant. Jeff, you took me to the new place in that corner lot of Brooklyn. It was no big deal, but we went. And nobody else ever WENT anywhere but you knew and we came.
And then on to Europe. The second time I ever flew. Sabena Airlines to Brussels. Wasn’t it $180 RT. In Europe. Yes I was a true internationalist too. You led all of your cousins and I discovered with you that you grew a few inches. We both got absolutely skinny in those weeks abroad. I will always remember how you were constantly watching the train schedules – riding by night and day – we never had a place to sleep and arriving up to our destinations in the morning just to ride the sites. We did arrive in our third-class Europe for on a budget of $2 a day. Arthur Frommer’s EUROPE ON $5 A DAY was for assholes. We did it cheaper, deeper, wider and better. We found money to buy the S&H Green Stamps in the kiosk to buy fish sandwiches in the street. We walked, we ran, we sang, we showered and shat and shaved. You wanted to go and see what we wanted to see. We slept on trains, inside monasteries, behind houses, pig houses, people’s homes, friend’s apts. Everyone was friends in hostels. We were now so tiny in size in a world but leaders. I wonder if Jeff (and I can’t even explain) but Jeff would discover everything. He couldn’t ever lose you Jeff! But we did enjoy all our dinners and had real Italian sitting. Remember our first night in Europe. It probably was our worst. But we discovered two new, happy bankers from that ugly southern bank. It was freezing and the first time we really beg out from Flemish. Jeff it was the first time I had ever seen night fall. I remember the boy from Barcelona who was detained. Do you? Did I mention that will you? Remember the Czechoslovak police detained me on arrival to the island? We saw sprays and mosaics. That’s what made it such a great experience. Our goal was to go from Amsterdam to Nice, and go to London because of Jeff. Cards was spent on the budget and it ended in being great joy. Seeing Jeff on the beach with kisses from all over the world – Matt and and those two girls from Cleveland.
That trip to Europe could get more space but the main point is that it really catapulted your eyes to another world. And mine too. But you Jeff strived it. I did too in a sense. But you spent the next summer in London and came home with a beautiful British babe named ______. You had such chutzpah to bring her to your beautiful, civilized, impressive home on Maple Ave. Think back on that now. That shows a lot. It really does. You didn’t give a shit about what she thought. And she couldn’t have been more impressed. You were seriously crazy – expensive brief-bag, long overcoat, walked always confident. That’s the Jeff I remember. Your confidence only made your brilliance more powerful. And you always had so much wit and irony. You had. That can’t be a shit attitude, your calculated cleverness, like a professor and important but still confidence gave you size. God worked! You recognized the value that you could get away anytime by being clever. Your size Gave world! It worked! You got more attention than a could get away with shit!! That insight was absolute genius in general were schemers!! You exuded this power that made you master the moment.
Especially the ones who had women, money, position and power. Yes, your sharp charisma and persuasive ways came early as only you Jeff could claim. It’s lifelong as you knew. You had Lambos and Ferraris. That came very fast, very early. Independence, our trip to the club and all the people you managed along the way.
And then there was Warren. He’s as hilarious as ever and exactly the same as he was 35 yrs. ago with his trench coat and his businessman’s books BACK THEN!! We see each other pretty often. When can Warren and I get together w/ you for at least an evening and just get warmed, start joking from how we used to. Maybe we need to include AZCO as a prop for Warren.
If you look at our little group of you, Warren, Ron and me. We were very close, although we never said or knew it back then. We didn’t have girlfriends, we never ended. We didn’t look to our families really for anything, we had each other. That was from through high school. Then we dispersed and reconnected.
That’s it for now. I know I got sentimental, but it’s the occasion. Hard to capture. I’ll always cherish the fondest memories of our past and I can honestly say they were the best years of my life – even though I couldn’t ever get laid.
Eternally and with love,
Johnny Boy
