D
Deleted member 5927
Lurker
I came home today to see tons of families and neighbors outside having cookouts and parties and shit. They are laughing and running around shooting fireworks and stuff. I have never had a family in my entire life. I've never even had a birthday party before. Many of my birthdays were spent crying in the woods because I was poor, with parents that hated me for no reason, and I wasn't allowed to do anything. When all of you were playing BO2 in 2010-2015 and other games like that, I was raking the yard for my insane 70 year old dad. I have grown up with nothing. My parents do not at all care about me. Many times I have cried and fallen asleep just because I was hungry and my parents did not care. When I see families outside helping each other and supporting each other, it makes me want to blow my brains out.
I can't imagine having a grandmother or grandfather. Let alone having both, and let alone having 2 SETS of both. And some of you have that, as well as cousins your age, and aunts you know, and uncles.
I fucking hate holidays. Every firework that goes off outside right now is just reminding me of what I am missing out on.
On top of the fact that I have to support myself, I am hungry, and lonely, and have no IRL friends or hobbies, I also am poor and subhuman. I can't even play video games because I never was allowed to play them as a kid and so I get bored of them very easily, and I'm also really fucking bad at video games. Sort of like how a person who didn't grow up speaking a language will not usually ever be completely fluent in it easily, I didn't grow up with video games so I'm literally terrible. I have no hobbies, friends, money, or family.
All I do for fun essentially is just go to my retail job and max out the schedule and abuse the shit out of caffiene supplements and just work my ass off and moneymaxx. But all my money goes straight to my medical bills, car payments, gas, health insurance, car insurance, and food. I live paycheck to paycheck despite working over 40 hours a week. I don't buy anything nice, I just work my ass off to feed myself.
I am very subhuman as well with naturally terrible frame, I get depression easily, and I have horrible acne by nature.
Every day I live as a social failure just adds to the mental scarring that will ensure I will never ever be a normal person in society.
If you read this, I appreciate it.
I can't imagine having a grandmother or grandfather. Let alone having both, and let alone having 2 SETS of both. And some of you have that, as well as cousins your age, and aunts you know, and uncles.
I fucking hate holidays. Every firework that goes off outside right now is just reminding me of what I am missing out on.
On top of the fact that I have to support myself, I am hungry, and lonely, and have no IRL friends or hobbies, I also am poor and subhuman. I can't even play video games because I never was allowed to play them as a kid and so I get bored of them very easily, and I'm also really fucking bad at video games. Sort of like how a person who didn't grow up speaking a language will not usually ever be completely fluent in it easily, I didn't grow up with video games so I'm literally terrible. I have no hobbies, friends, money, or family.
All I do for fun essentially is just go to my retail job and max out the schedule and abuse the shit out of caffiene supplements and just work my ass off and moneymaxx. But all my money goes straight to my medical bills, car payments, gas, health insurance, car insurance, and food. I live paycheck to paycheck despite working over 40 hours a week. I don't buy anything nice, I just work my ass off to feed myself.
I am very subhuman as well with naturally terrible frame, I get depression easily, and I have horrible acne by nature.
Every day I live as a social failure just adds to the mental scarring that will ensure I will never ever be a normal person in society.
If you read this, I appreciate it.
