Just fuck a weight bro! 🤣🤣

[Anon]

Are gymcels finally learning they will never ascend? Press F to pay respect.

 

[FatJattMofo]

Cry more

 

[Deleted member 1560]

I fucken did it. I have figuwed out how wawge Thano’s fwaccid penis is. I know what you’we thinking: How couwd I have done this? Weww, awwow me to expwain. I stawted out with an image. The pictuwe was of Thanos and Iwon Man standing next to each othew. This image was exactwy what I needed. It came diwectwy fwom Mawvew, so we know fow cewtain that the pwopowtions awe cowwect. Now that we have the two chawactews, how does one go about actuawwy detewmining Thano’s wength? That’s easy. We onwy need the wength of Wobewt Downey Jw.’s penis. Wuckiwy, we have a vague idea of just how wawge that is. Back in 2014, Wobewt Downey Jw. was quoted saying something awong the wines of: “I have a massive dick, and feminism is a joke”. Fwom this statement, we can detewmine one majow thing: Wobewt Downey Jw. sways women with his massive peen.

But just how big is “massive?” to answew that, we need to do some weseawch. Taking to the intewnet, I used pixew measuwements, and cawcuwated the wength of many many penises, that bewonged to vawious diffewent pown staws. I avewaged the wesuwts, and came up with about 3.8 inches fwaccid, on avewage. If Wobewt Downey Jw. twuwy has a massive penis, than his must be swightwy wawgew than this. Thewefowe, I ewected to wound up to 4 inches.

Next up, we need to do some mowe pixew measuwements. Tony stawk is 6’1” so in this image, we used that numbew to cawcuwate how many pixews pew inch this pictuwe had. We came up with the numbew of 7 pixews pew inch. Using this numbew, we wewe abwe to discovew that thanos was 98 inches taww, ow 8’2”. The same was done fow howizontaw width. Aftew some quick cawcuwations, we detewmined that Thanos was appwoximatewy 1.36 times wawgew than Wobewt Downey Jw. With this pwopowtion in hand, we can now do the unthinkabwe. If we take Wobewt Downey Jw.’s wength of 4” and muwtipwy it by 1.35, we get 5.44”.

Now I know what you’we thinking. 5.44 inches? That’s pathetic. But think of it this way: That’s his fwaccid wength. Now, imagine Thanos when awoused. On avewage, the human penis genewawwy doubwes in wength when going fwom fwaccid to hawd. This means that Thano’s kiewbasa is wikewy awmost 12 inches, when fuwwy ewect. If you stiww think that this is smaww, just twy and imagine that absowute unit of a cock shoved into youw tight wittwe ass. His massive puwpwe wod being passionatewy thwust back and fowth, wipping youw wectum to shweds. And don’t even get me stawted on his cum. The thought of Thanos just unwoading gawwons and gawwons of chiwdwen into me just makes me wock hawd. Thewe is nothing that tuwns me on mowe than Thano’s massive 12 inch dick. I wish he wouwd just shove it in evewy howe in my body. I want him to take his fwaccid dick, and wwap it awound my neck wike a noose. That wouwd just be puwe ecstasy to me. Getting stwangwed to death by Thano’s bad boy wouwd pwobabwy feew so amazing. The onwy thing that wouwd make it bettew, wouwd be if he wasn’t ciwcumcised. I’d be abwe to peew back his foweskin, wike a big, puwpwe, meaty banana. I’d peew it back, and I’d eat evewy wast pawticwe of dick cheese. I’d wick it aww up, untiw his meat fwute was aww shiny and sticky. And once it’s aww wubed up, I’d wet him put it in my butt again. He wouwdn’t howd back this time. He’d fuck me so hawd, that aww my inside get jimmied awound, and it wouwd be amazing. Then he’d cum again, but this time thewe’s be so much that it fiwws up my entiwe body. Just imagine: Thanos has awmost finished wavaging youw butthowe, when he unweashed a tsunami of hot, sticky semen into youw body. It fiwws up youw ass, but Thano’s sex pistow is so thick, that it won’t weak out thwough my booty. But he keeps weweasing mowe. Eventuawwy, it stawts fiwwing up my intestines and stomach, befowe it eventuawwy begins to quickwy fwow out fwom my mouth. At this point, I’m vomiting Thanos’s cum evewywhewe, but I’m not doing it fast enough. The pwessuwe buiwds, as the semen stawts to swowwy dwip out of evewy howe im my body. My dick, my nose, my eaws, and even my eyes. But it’s just not enough. Thanos’s keeps ejacuwating. He’s wike an infinite watew souwce of daddy sauce. The pwessuwe is too gweat! I expwode in a gwowious dispway of semen and viscewa. By stomach as buwst open, and I am now just a head and towso, but onwy the back hawf of my towso wemains. Yet somehow, I suwvive. Aww my wimbs awe bwown off, as weww as my own dick. Thanos cawesses what’s weft of my face, with his thick, puwpwe hand.

“I want to keep going.” Thanos says to me, gentwy, “Awe you okay with that?”

Despite the fact that my windpipes awe mostwy expwoded, I manage to say to him, “Yes.”

Thanos nods, and pwoceeds to kiss me passionatewy on the wips.

He unsheaths his excawibuw, and gentwy insewts into the new howe, whewe my dick used to be. He picks me up, now that I’m wittwe mowe than a wump of fwesh. He swowwy puwws his dick in and out of me, in an attempt to make suwe that my new pussy wouwd be an adequate howe. Upon detewmining that it is, he begins to viowentwy move me up and down, as if I was nothing mowe than just a fweshwight. But since I was with the wove of my wife, Thanos- I didn’t even cawe. Aftew a wittwe whiwe mowe, his sex pistow is cocked, and he fiwes one mowe wast buwst of cum. This shot was so intense, that I swide wight out of him, and bwast off into space. “Miwwion Miwes An Houw” by Nickewback begins to pway, as I wocketed thwough the cosmos. The intense heat of Thano’s semen pwevents me fwom fweezing to death.

Back on the pwanet whewe we fucked, Thanos quietwy whispews to my quickwy shwinking body, “No homo…”

I twavewed thwough the gawaxy fow what fewt wike days, befowe I became caught in the gwavity of a bwack howe. Thanos’s semen was stiww keeping me awive, but the pwopuwsion wasn’t stwong enough to pwevent me fwom getting sucked in. Upon weaching the bwack howe’s event howizon, something incwedibwe happened. Thano’s juice ignited, and expwoded. The expwosion eventuawwy wesuwted in the fowmation of a staw. Upon the staw’s cweation, I was waunched out into the staw’s owbit, befowe my body was wipped apawt by the immense gwavity of the sun, and my vawious pawts wewe cast to the void. But my souw wemained attached to the staw that had just fowmed. I watched fow biwwions of yeaws, as my pieces’ own gwavitationaw puwws swowwy began to attwact othew pawticwes, untiw they aww eventuawwy became pwanets. I continued to watch ovew this new sowaw system. Eventuawwy, on the thiwd pwanet out, I saw something amazing. I watched, as fwom the pwanet’s pwimowdiaw ooze, a smaww wife fowm emewged. Thwough the ages, I watched as this wife evowved, gwew and took on a much mowe compwex fowm. Aftew some time, they became a species known as “human”. These human wewe intewwigent. But not neawwy intewwigent enough fow othew beings to visit them. The Humans eventuawwy named me. I was to be wefewwed to as Sow. I continued to watch ovew these humans, as theiw cuwtuwe devewoped fuwthew. Uniw one day, a fiwm known as “Avengews: Infinity Waw” was weweased. It was a cuwtuwaw phenomenon, awthough it wasn’t vewy good fwom an objective standpoint. But the humans woved it. And one chawactew, they wove mowe than most. And his name- was Thanos. When Thanos appeawed as a chawactew on Eawth, I knew that my jouwney was compwete. I cannot expwain how, but some way ow anothew- some pawt of Thanos had stayed with the body pawt that eventuawwy became Eawth. And as a wesuwt, his infwuence couwd be seen aww thwoughout histowy. This aww came to a head, with Infinity Waw. Thanos’s semen gave wife to an entiwe pwanet of cweatuwe, and they wepaid him in the uwtimate way. Thanos has now been fowevew immowtawized in theiw cuwtuwe. As the most competentwy wwitten chawactews, in one of the most mediocwe movies of aww time.

 

[Deleted member 1100]

Lol, look at that waist:hip, 1.0 looks subhuman tbh