Just realized the main reason I go on forums is to be an attention whore to cope for not having friends or a girlfriend

[copingvolcel]

For many years I thought that I didn't need to have a girlfriend or to have friends and that I was satisfied being alone but truth is I find myself spending a lot of time on the internet writing stuff and basically begging for attention, and when I do get it, it's as addicting as real drugs, and it feels so good that I never want it to stop. In the past I was very well known on here so I returned hoping for the same kind of attention but I didn't get it because most of the ones who knew me were gone, so I tried rebuilding from scratch, pathetic I know, and it didn't work. But I also recently left a discord server and community attached to a specific online game that knows me very well and that likes to make fun of me behind that back, but that attention, even though it is negative, is also very addicting and I can't stop going back on their discord with my alt (since I was banned) to see what they say about me, and playing the game to get talked about more. It's pathetic.


For years I thought my problem was an addiction to the internet or to screens but no, I'm just a huge attention whore, and so when I don't get as much attention as I would like, I become so desperate I go search for it online, and it's not even about the likes but the replies, the discussions and so on.

Maybe we all have a way to sort of cope for being single, I never believed I had a cope but now I see that is definitely the cope that I have always had ever since I left high school 9 years ago, because back then I was the center of attention in my friend group.

Anyone can relate?

 

[Klasik616]

You made me remember I made female friends in videogames lol one LTB and one MTB but since I'm too aspie I could'nt keep the MTB and she lived in another country so over. Both never showed more intentions than friendship, when I tried to flirt they ignored it.
I cannot even get foids from gaming so getting foids IRL is impossible. I got their numbers but it's over.

 

[Clark69]

Anyone can relate?

yea. i think some ppl like to take the piss and just annoy/troll people. the internet makes this much easier because you can portray yourself in so many different ways and don't need to be put on the spot as you would irl. i used to do a similar thing on discord back in 2017/2018, it was so funny and entertaining

 

[longjohnmong]

well yeah

 

[copingvolcel]

You made me remember I made female friends in videogames lol one LTB and one MTB but since I'm too aspie I could'nt keep the MTB and she lived in another country so over. Both never showed more intentions than friendship, when I tried to flirt they ignored it.
I cannot even get foids from gaming so getting foids IRL is impossible. I got their numbers but it's over.

I learned a good tip from my mom, which is that you're better off befriending girls than seeing it as a rejection, because women know other women, and they invite their friends (yes even the male ones) to parties so if you say no to friendship, you will not have access to those parties, and you'll just be excluded from all the action.

A lot of normies get great success with women just by having big groups of female friends, but for that you have to be social and see women as more than just something to stick your dick into, you have to see friendship with them in the same way as you do with your male friends.

Also, the difference between a female friend and the friendzone is how much you get exploited (used for your money/time/attention). A real friend will invite you to events while a fake friend will just use your time or money and give nothing in return. Real female friends will never ask you to buy them drinks or to help them move their furniture, they'll treat you with the same level of respect they give to their female friends.

I also think it's highly unrealistic for guys to try to become a "Chad" because even if you have the height, no amount of plastic surgery can make you look like a supermodel, which is only like top 0.1% looks anyways, and also, women are not the modelling industry. Sure, models probably get more success on dating apps, but women's standards are not as high as the modelling industry. Women are 50% of the population so they are well aware that if they aim for the top 0.1%, they're never going to meet anyone. What they tend to do is they aim higher than their level, but that's it. If she's fat, she might aim for a guy who is skinny, and if she is skinny she might aim for a guy who is muscular.

Also, on average, beckies get matched with normies. The one exception is if your body is looksmaxxed (muscle gain, fat loss), then you can have a gymmaxxed LTN or MTN with a HTB or a gymmaxxed HTN with a stacy but again, that only applies to women who actually like muscles. On average, most women care about muscles, and the ones that don't usually just care more about income.

 

[Greypiller]

For many years I thought that I didn't need to have a girlfriend or to have friends and that I was satisfied being alone but truth is I find myself spending a lot of time on the internet writing stuff and basically begging for attention, and when I do get it, it's as addicting as real drugs, and it feels so good that I never want it to stop. In the past I was very well known on here so I returned hoping for the same kind of attention but I didn't get it because most of the ones who knew me were gone, so I tried rebuilding from scratch, pathetic I know, and it didn't work. But I also recently left a discord server and community attached to a specific online game that knows me very well and that likes to make fun of me behind that back, but that attention, even though it is negative, is also very addicting and I can't stop going back on their discord with my alt (since I was banned) to see what they say about me, and playing the game to get talked about more. It's pathetic.


For years I thought my problem was an addiction to the internet or to screens but no, I'm just a huge attention whore, and so when I don't get as much attention as I would like, I become so desperate I go search for it online, and it's not even about the likes but the replies, the discussions and so on.

Maybe we all have a way to sort of cope for being single, I never believed I had a cope but now I see that is definitely the cope that I have always had ever since I left high school 9 years ago, because back then I was the center of attention in my friend group.

Anyone can relate?

never got alot of validation when i was young , so whenever truecel329032 reacts to my post with a thumbs up i feel like ive just won an award

 

[copingvolcel]

yea. i think some ppl like to take the piss and just annoy/troll people. the internet makes this much easier because you can portray yourself in so many different ways and don't need to be put on the spot as you would irl. i used to do a similar thing on discord back in 2017/2018, it was so funny and entertaining

I didn't mean in the sense that I was trolling but more that I would become highly dependent on the amount of attention I would receive. Like if I managed to get an entire discord server to talk about me constantly, I'd get addicted to that attention even if they were making fun of me, I'd still feel like someone important even though in my day to day life I wasn't productive and I was using it as a cope to not feel so alone.

I never portray myself as someone I'm not, but I have at many occasions posted my pics on this forum and elsewhere to get people's reaction and that attention was so addictive. So I'm just now realizing, through self reflection, that it is a form of cope, generally for guys like me who don't have many friends to talk to and who don't have a girlfriend. Because with a girlfriend it would be constant attention so no need to fish for it on the internet.

The irony is I thought to myself that the average person is pathetic for being so codependent to their partner and needing the attention because I've been single for years with no such desperation but it was because I was finding it elsewhere but I never realized that until very recently.

 

[TitusA]

For many years I thought that I didn't need to have a girlfriend or to have friends and that I was satisfied being alone but truth is I find myself spending a lot of time on the internet writing stuff and basically begging for attention, and when I do get it, it's as addicting as real drugs, and it feels so good that I never want it to stop. In the past I was very well known on here so I returned hoping for the same kind of attention but I didn't get it because most of the ones who knew me were gone, so I tried rebuilding from scratch, pathetic I know, and it didn't work. But I also recently left a discord server and community attached to a specific online game that knows me very well and that likes to make fun of me behind that back, but that attention, even though it is negative, is also very addicting and I can't stop going back on their discord with my alt (since I was banned) to see what they say about me, and playing the game to get talked about more. It's pathetic.


For years I thought my problem was an addiction to the internet or to screens but no, I'm just a huge attention whore, and so when I don't get as much attention as I would like, I become so desperate I go search for it online, and it's not even about the likes but the replies, the discussions and so on.

Maybe we all have a way to sort of cope for being single, I never believed I had a cope but now I see that is definitely the cope that I have always had ever since I left high school 9 years ago, because back then I was the center of attention in my friend group.

Anyone can relate?

I think its more a cope for not having a major passion/interest/purpose in life. A girlfriend being tht isnt rly a healthy thing.

 

[silently_said]

For many years I thought that I didn't need to have a girlfriend or to have friends and that I was satisfied being alone but truth is I find myself spending a lot of time on the internet writing stuff and basically begging for attention, and when I do get it, it's as addicting as real drugs, and it feels so good that I never want it to stop. In the past I was very well known on here so I returned hoping for the same kind of attention but I didn't get it because most of the ones who knew me were gone, so I tried rebuilding from scratch, pathetic I know, and it didn't work. But I also recently left a discord server and community attached to a specific online game that knows me very well and that likes to make fun of me behind that back, but that attention, even though it is negative, is also very addicting and I can't stop going back on their discord with my alt (since I was banned) to see what they say about me, and playing the game to get talked about more. It's pathetic.


For years I thought my problem was an addiction to the internet or to screens but no, I'm just a huge attention whore, and so when I don't get as much attention as I would like, I become so desperate I go search for it online, and it's not even about the likes but the replies, the discussions and so on.

Maybe we all have a way to sort of cope for being single, I never believed I had a cope but now I see that is definitely the cope that I have always had ever since I left high school 9 years ago, because back then I was the center of attention in my friend group.

Anyone can relate?

For me it was the sense of mutual interest and immediate feedback. All my life I've been trying to reach out to people and none of them reciprocated my interest. It's a similar reason to why I got addicted to this one Discord server

 

[copingvolcel]

never got alot of validation when i was young , so whenever truecel329032 reacts to my post with a thumbs up i feel like ive just won an award

How can you be sub5 as a 6'1" guy? Are you like obese/overweight, or do you just have a very low opinion of yourself?

Personally I think I look much better at 26 than I did at 18 but even at 18 I was able to get a girlfriend, but one thing I should say is I was never the type of guy to approach women but in the few cases where I did, women were genuinely surprised and grateful because they felt like I was above their looks level. But through the years, because of hollywood, my standards became increasingly unrealistic and the type of women that I liked were just unattainable, and recently I discovered I just have to aim a lot lower, and anyways when they're naked, there isn't going to be a huge difference, as long as they're somewhat slim or at least not overweight.

 

[Greypiller]

How can you be sub5 as a 6'1" guy? Are you like obese/overweight, or do you just have a very low opinion of yourself?

Personally I think I look much better at 26 than I did at 18 but even at 18 I was able to get a girlfriend, but one thing I should say is I was never the type of guy to approach women but in the few cases where I did, women were genuinely surprised and grateful because they felt like I was above their looks level. But through the years, because of hollywood, my standards became increasingly unrealistic and the type of women that I liked were just unattainable, and recently I discovered I just have to aim a lot lower, and anyways when they're naked, there isn't going to be a huge difference, as long as they're somewhat slim or at least not overweight.

not obese or overweight , just very recessed and peanut skull + big ass nose

 

[NZb6Air]

dnr

 

[ey88]

dnr

Me neither, this dude is a certified yapper

 

[Greypiller]

not obese or overweight , just very recessed and peanut skull + big ass nose

also long ass mid face

 

[copingvolcel]

I think its more a cope for not having a major passion/interest/purpose in life. A girlfriend being tht isnt rly a healthy thing.

I think passion/purpose is kind of a cope, and it kind of fits within the consoomer meme where the more products you consume, the happier you're supposed to feel when in reality, real happiness comes from having someone you're in love with and building a family with them, not being a slave to the capitalist system by working 50+ hours per week just to buy stuff you don't need (as described in the film Fight Club).

And sure if your passion is a musical instrument or a sport, it's a bit different but still it cannot compensate for the value you would get from a human being. I'm not saying that sex by itself is the goal of life but living with a woman means that every day you wake up, and she is there by your side, you come home from work and she is there to support you through your hard times and good times also, whereas the single man will just wake up alone, go to work, come home, waste time on entertainment devices (mainly screens) and repeat with no support from anyone and most importantly, no real social time. I've worked many jobs and let me tell you, having coworkers is not like having real friends that you can do fun stuff with.

The incel community at its core is mainly guys who have realized that, but they're not aware of what they need to do to get such a relationship.

Looksmax is more guys who think they need drastic surgeries and looksmaxxing just to be accepted by their crush, when in reality, if you're a teenager, all you have to do to meet women is go outside in your neighborhood and spend time on sunny days riding a bicycle or taking walks with your dog, and you'll eventually meet girls, all you have to do is approach them and introduce yourself. But a lot of guys grow up in front of computer screens so they're socially awkward because they never developed the skill of talking to strangers. But normal teenagers, they just go outside, and they meet other teenagers and make friends easily and get into relationships also, because they don't spend their weekends at home in their room browsing the internet. It does depend on the neighborhood though, what didn't help me is I grew up in a small town in Switzerland where there were nobody around. But when I returned to Canada, all I would have needed to do to meet girls is to walk in the neighborhood or ride my bicycle but I didn't know that, so I wasted entire summers playing video games.


TL;DR: My point is, the true happiness you get in life is not from your job, it's from your wife and children, the family unit is what brings the most happiness. You work to provide for your family and that's it. If all you have is yourself, you'll be lonely forever, unless you compensate by seeking attention elsewhere but that is not a healthy way to live, it is just a form of cope that is devoid of any meaning or genuine happiness. But it wasn't until recently that I realized it. The issue I have now is I'm 26 and I live in the suburbs where I'm surrounded by teenagers and their old parents, but if I could move to the city, I would probably not have my own place but I'd meet a lot more women in my day to day life, and then cold approaching becomes very easy, it becomes like automatic. You cannot remain single if you live in a big city as a young man unless you do everything to avoid every woman you meet out of fear of rejection. My struggle is not approaching but finding women to approach.

 

[TitusA]

I think passion/purpose is kind of a cope, and it kind of fits within the consoomer meme where the more products you consume, the happier you're supposed to feel when in reality, real happiness comes from having someone you're in love with and building a family with them, not being a slave to the capitalist system by working 50+ hours per week just to buy stuff you don't need (as described in the film Fight Club).

And sure if your passion is a musical instrument or a sport, it's a bit different but still it cannot compensate for the value you would get from a human being. I'm not saying that sex by itself is the goal of life but living with a woman means that every day you wake up, and she is there by your side, you come home from work and she is there to support you through your hard times and good times also, whereas the single man will just wake up alone, go to work, come home, waste time on entertainment devices (mainly screens) and repeat with no support from anyone and most importantly, no real social time. I've worked many jobs and let me tell you, having coworkers is not like having real friends that you can do fun stuff with.

The incel community at its core is mainly guys who have realized that, but they're not aware of what they need to do to get such a relationship.

Looksmax is more guys who think they need drastic surgeries and looksmaxxing just to be accepted by their crush, when in reality, if you're a teenager, all you have to do to meet women is go outside in your neighborhood and spend time on sunny days riding a bicycle or taking walks with your dog, and you'll eventually meet girls, all you have to do is approach them and introduce yourself. But a lot of guys grow up in front of computer screens so they're socially awkward because they never developed the skill of talking to strangers. But normal teenagers, they just go outside, and they meet other teenagers and make friends easily and get into relationships also, because they don't spend their weekends at home in their room browsing the internet. It does depend on the neighborhood though, what didn't help me is I grew up in a small town in Switzerland where there were nobody around. But when I returned to Canada, all I would have needed to do to meet girls is to walk in the neighborhood or ride my bicycle but I didn't know that, so I wasted entire summers playing video games.


TL;DR: My point is, the true happiness you get in life is not from your job, it's from your wife and children, the family unit is what brings the most happiness. You work to provide for your family and that's it. If all you have is yourself, you'll be lonely forever, unless you compensate by seeking attention elsewhere but that is not a healthy way to live, it is just a form of cope that is devoid of any meaning or genuine happiness. But it wasn't until recently that I realized it. The issue I have now is I'm 26 and I live in the suburbs where I'm surrounded by teenagers and their old parents, but if I could move to the city, I would probably not have my own place but I'd meet a lot more women in my day to day life, and then cold approaching becomes very easy, it becomes like automatic. You cannot remain single if you live in a big city as a young man unless you do everything to avoid every woman you meet out of fear of rejection. My struggle is not approaching but finding women to approach.

Consoomer meme is just instant validation which is provided y drugs, internet scrolling, binge eating, porn, sex, video games. The only time I felt complete and happy in life is when I had a major passion thts wht i mean and that could be a family.

The problem is maintaining a healthy relationship/family unit now is incredibly difficult. Even if u good relationship girl that doesnt fill your life with drama and turn into a hag u have the massive mental illness rates in children and teens in the west and having a family that is dysfunctional could be worse than not having one at all. A friend of a friends just walked in on her daughter who is now dead because she hung herself (after investing 14 years of her life into her). Imagine living through a scenario like that. At this point the family unit has been destroyed in the western world and healthy family dynamics are extremely rare.

 

[copingvolcel]

Consoomer meme is just instant validation which is provided y drugs, internet scrolling, binge eating, porn, sex, video games. The only time I felt complete and happy in life is when I had a major passion thts wht i mean and that could be a family.

The problem is maintaining a healthy relationship/family unit now is incredibly difficult. Even if u good relationship girl that doesnt fill your life with drama and turn into a hag u have the massive mental illness rates in children and teens in the west and having a family that is dysfunctional could be worse than not having one at all. A friend of a friends just walked in on her daughter who is now dead because she hung herself (after investing 14 years of her life into her). Imagine living through a scenario like that. At this point the family unit has been destroyed in the western world and healthy family dynamics are extremely rare.

That second paragraph has strong MGTOW undertones, I say this as someone who used to be very into red pill rhethoric for many years. What I ended up realizing is that a lot of that comes from people cherrypicking specific scenarios to fit into their biased narrative rather than looking at real people that they know and making an average of that.


MGTOW also talks a lot about self actualization, in the sense that according to them, men can get purpose and drive from their own hobbies and accomplishments without needing anybody. The truth is, humans are social animals and you get more pleasure and happiness from other people than you do from any specific activity or hobby.

I discovered MGTOW back in 2016 and to be honest, it cost me many opportunities to get into relationships because I would see women as the enemy, and I would assume they were out to get me, or that they would use my weaknesses against me. The truth is as humans, most of us need other humans to be happy and nothing else can match that.

 

[TitusA]

That second paragraph has strong MGTOW undertones, I say this as someone who used to be very into red pill rhethoric for many years. What I ended up realizing is that a lot of that comes from people cherrypicking specific scenarios to fit into their biased narrative rather than looking at real people that they know and making an average of that.


MGTOW also talks a lot about self actualization, in the sense that according to them, men can get purpose and drive from their own hobbies and accomplishments without needing anybody. The truth is, humans are social animals and you get more pleasure and happiness from other people than you do from any specific activity or hobby.

I discovered MGTOW back in 2016 and to be honest, it cost me many opportunities to get into relationships because I would see women as the enemy, and I would assume they were out to get me, or that they would use my weaknesses against me. The truth is as humans, most of us need other humans to be happy and nothing else can match that.

I dont see women as the enemy men are just as guilty. The reality is its just a statistical fact most relationships dont work. The family unit and social cohesion that existed doesn't exist the same way anymore. Dont associate me with whiny MGTOW. Everybody including women need drive and hobbies if a womans only purpose in life is the relationship with you she's probably not a healthy minded person. Mgtow want a woman who's only purpose IS to please the man tht they are with so like I said dont associate me with tht bshit.