NateJacobs
Christ is King.
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2023
- Posts
- 1,259
- Reputation
- 2,108
SOUNDTRACK
Abused Dog entry #?
Not sure what i did exactly. I feel as if i paid pretty much all my karma in all regards of my life over time and now, i am super insecure and NEVER talk shit, lead girls on or ANYTHING LIKE THAT. But im just getting brutalized.
I used to kinda troll girls i knew wanted me more, i would come in and out of their lives giving "mixed signals" i guess because i did want them but not enough to put in more than 10% effort.
i do not really attack people on their looks but maybe their intelligence.
I became super duper narcy when i first started seeing results from my ascension back in summer 2023 (reading those old threads is insane tbh), and i kinda had somewhat of an ego back in febuary-march 2024 when i got as goodlooking as I had ever been in all regards, essentially. But i did not talk down on people, i tried to help others on the forum, and was not really narcy. i didnt even brag either
I had and still do have a problem with vanity. I literally would be staring at myself in the mirror admiring my face and body. I took so many pics of myself that i looked mogger in and took SO MANY PICS OF MYSELF. I even, i hate to admit, i MADE 3-4 edits OF MYSELF IN THE STYLE OF @nordsmog back in september 2023. I told my irl friends i would make one when i was a freshman. I told them i would show the transformation off and then I actually achieved the goal.
Even now, i can get caught admiring my own physique but NOT MY FACE. I scribble out my face in pictures of my physique and i have not taken a pic of my face since dec 12th and it was just to see how fucked my hair was from the sideview. Its so bad man i can't even look at myself on phone cameras half the time.
KARMA HAS RETURNED, God humbles me
So the last 2-3 months have been brutal for my looks. My hair hit new lows week after week until i got hit with a killshot and now i literally wear a hood to school 24/7 to hide how fucked and uneven it looks. I got told my hair looks like shit by this girl today who im kinda friendly with its not just some random girl. Shit is so over i literally do not even wanna go to prom this year i just want to graduate already. I want to restart fresh and gtfo. Its horrible i have been skipping school some days because i wake up and feel to subhuman to go to school.
It does not help that i know longer have a base of support. Before, when someone would talk shit about my looks or a girl would curve me 1, i would have a backlog of other girls who are better looking who have wanted me so i did not feel as tho my looks were the main issue, 2, i was getting in real time validation from other women who were mtb+ .
Now, i have still have the backlog, but thats like wining the Finals back in 2015. WHO FUCKING CARES. i am far overdue for a HTB+. In april i bagged a legit stacy for prom and that barely counted and before that a couple months prior i had a relationships with a htb BADDIE. And a few months before that i bagged a fucking stacylite (iykyk) But since then, i got sucked off by a mtb with ass and thats it. I went on a 2 man with some mid becky at the end of summer, and recently was fw some mtb (irl people call her bad asf idk i dont really see it) with BITTIES. But idk if she was trolling me or not she did rub on my dick, we cuddedled, she laid on my chest and other shit to but idek which makes me not count it. I HAVE TO HAVE 100% CONFORMATION. And even then, she fucked with some prettyboy 5'7 asian guy so idegaf.
its taken its toll,
-NateJacobs
Abused Dog entry #?
Not sure what i did exactly. I feel as if i paid pretty much all my karma in all regards of my life over time and now, i am super insecure and NEVER talk shit, lead girls on or ANYTHING LIKE THAT. But im just getting brutalized.
I used to kinda troll girls i knew wanted me more, i would come in and out of their lives giving "mixed signals" i guess because i did want them but not enough to put in more than 10% effort.
i do not really attack people on their looks but maybe their intelligence.
I became super duper narcy when i first started seeing results from my ascension back in summer 2023 (reading those old threads is insane tbh), and i kinda had somewhat of an ego back in febuary-march 2024 when i got as goodlooking as I had ever been in all regards, essentially. But i did not talk down on people, i tried to help others on the forum, and was not really narcy. i didnt even brag either
I had and still do have a problem with vanity. I literally would be staring at myself in the mirror admiring my face and body. I took so many pics of myself that i looked mogger in and took SO MANY PICS OF MYSELF. I even, i hate to admit, i MADE 3-4 edits OF MYSELF IN THE STYLE OF @nordsmog back in september 2023. I told my irl friends i would make one when i was a freshman. I told them i would show the transformation off and then I actually achieved the goal.
Even now, i can get caught admiring my own physique but NOT MY FACE. I scribble out my face in pictures of my physique and i have not taken a pic of my face since dec 12th and it was just to see how fucked my hair was from the sideview. Its so bad man i can't even look at myself on phone cameras half the time.
KARMA HAS RETURNED, God humbles me
So the last 2-3 months have been brutal for my looks. My hair hit new lows week after week until i got hit with a killshot and now i literally wear a hood to school 24/7 to hide how fucked and uneven it looks. I got told my hair looks like shit by this girl today who im kinda friendly with its not just some random girl. Shit is so over i literally do not even wanna go to prom this year i just want to graduate already. I want to restart fresh and gtfo. Its horrible i have been skipping school some days because i wake up and feel to subhuman to go to school.
It does not help that i know longer have a base of support. Before, when someone would talk shit about my looks or a girl would curve me 1, i would have a backlog of other girls who are better looking who have wanted me so i did not feel as tho my looks were the main issue, 2, i was getting in real time validation from other women who were mtb+ .
Now, i have still have the backlog, but thats like wining the Finals back in 2015. WHO FUCKING CARES. i am far overdue for a HTB+. In april i bagged a legit stacy for prom and that barely counted and before that a couple months prior i had a relationships with a htb BADDIE. And a few months before that i bagged a fucking stacylite (iykyk) But since then, i got sucked off by a mtb with ass and thats it. I went on a 2 man with some mid becky at the end of summer, and recently was fw some mtb (irl people call her bad asf idk i dont really see it) with BITTIES. But idk if she was trolling me or not she did rub on my dick, we cuddedled, she laid on my chest and other shit to but idek which makes me not count it. I HAVE TO HAVE 100% CONFORMATION. And even then, she fucked with some prettyboy 5'7 asian guy so idegaf.
its taken its toll,
-NateJacobs
