BigJimsWornOutTires
Kraken
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- Feb 6, 2021
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What I'm about to share with you all may dox my identity. But I don't give a fuck anymore!! THIS bullshit has gotten out of control. Enough is enough, Hollywood! This may cause the writers to redo the scene. Let's hope that they do. BTW, I FUCKING QUIT!!
---------------- FADE IN ACT 17 EXT. DARK WOODS ----------------
On his knees, Bruce Banner pounded the ground with his fists as his privileged skin changed green and his body transmuted into a giant. His pink slacks and white dress shirt parted. Ugh, he forgot his elastic molecule trousers because there was a censor blur hovering over his privates. As he stood, he gazed at a dark silhouette. Hulk screamed with a monstrous tone, "But you are Doomsday, not Iron Man!"
The dark figure revealed itself as Tony Stalk but in green tights and a matching-colored hoodie. With awe, Tony bit his bottom lip as he scanned Hulk's censor, saying, "What happened to always being Hulk?"
"Don't change the subject, Doomsday!" Hulk thunderously shouted, but a moment of confusion captured him. He reduced his voice to a mutter in Bruce's persona, "Tony."
Calmly, the man believed to be dead challenged him, "How do you know I'm not who I say I am in this multiverse reality intertwined with quantum realms?"
"Because I was there when Tony died on Xfinity Day!" Bruce yelled into Hulk's voice.
Little Greenie was perplexed by his buddy's statement and odd personality disorder, he questioned it, "Xfinity Day?"
Hulk's expression shrank in shame as he spoke in an undertone, "Product placement. Disney's stocks slumped. We have to say their trademark name three times."
"Yeah, yeah," Tony arrogantly babbled and stepped to the monster, saying, "But how do you know that wasn't a variant who switched places with me before," he pursed his lips and hesitated the extra income, "Xfinity Day."
Hulk backed away from the creepy Tony and voiced, "Why would you switch places with Doomsday?" He clutched his hair and pulled it with autistic rage. "That makes no sense in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, unless..." he pondered with a tongue in cheek.
"Ah, yes, the big unless... say it, Bruce," Tony said to the monster's eyes and walked his down to the censor blur, "Or Hulk." With a raised eyebrow, he skated the tip of his tongue against the inside of his upper lip with admiration for the massive manhood.
In Bruce's voice, "Unless there's a new writer."
"Bingo, Brucey."
"But Doomsday doesn't sound like a sacrificial lamb for the elites." Once again, the voice changed from Bruce to Hulk.
"Damn it, bro!" Tony was fed up. "Choose a damn voice! You're beginning to freak me out."
In Bruce's tone, "Me and Hulk are having another dispute."
Tony looks the other way, saying, "Great, this fucking shit again."
"Tony, watch the language, jeez," and again, the voice switched from Hulk to Bruce.
"What happened this time between you two?"
"After our dispute," Bruce said. "I transformed from Bruce-Hulk to Bruce. I was so fed up with Hulk that I went to a bar and had drinks. I met a woman, and we went back to my place. Well, that led to sex and," Bruce hesitated. "And... I had no idea Hulk wasn't into women, and..." the monster took over, "I got angry and split her open."
"What the fuck!" Astonished in disbelief, Tony was speechless as he cautiously stepped away from the monster. "In the Avengers' universe of Marvel? Who's this new writer?"
"There was so much blood," Hulk assured him as he fondled his privates, looking down.
Tony's bulging eyes watched Hulk show him what caused the woman to get split open. There was a moment of awkward silence as he recreated the scene in his mind. With a sudden reaction, "What did you do with the body?" Before the monster could speak, Tony responded reassuringly, "Doctor Strange." Hulk nodded.
Finally, Tony offered a get-out of this conversation, "I don't want to hear any more about this."
"Done!" Hulk implied. "As you were saying about the switch," Bruce said.
"That's an interesting story, skitzo." He tilted his head and explained, "You see, we all screwed the pooch by not taking down Thanos the first time. He caused significant damage to Doomsday's universe. The man lost his entire bloodline because of the abomination smurf. He had to confront Thanos before he snapped again."
"B-b-but when did you switch places?" Bruce pressed for information.
"Before Captain Marvel found me in the Guardians of the Galaxy realm, Big D had found me first." Hulk's brows knitted as his eyes sideways glanced at Tony's moniker for Doomsday.
"Then if you're Tony Stalk posing as Doomsday, I'm not saying Big D," Bruce insisted, Tony frowned. His voice transformed into Hulk's, "Why are you being such a dickhead to everyone while pretending to be Kang, and like," back to Bruce, "How's that even possible?"
"Well, that too is an interesting story," Tony said as he ventured down memory lane. "After we switched places, Big D sent me to his universe. With no hope of returning to this one, I continued my research in advanced technology and recreated Vision, but this time, I named him Rocky."
"Blonde hair and a tan... like from the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show?"
Tony winked and proceeded, "Well, Rocky and I learned about shapeshifting tech. However, that caused the time creeps to kidnap us. We whipped their asses into oblivion and then used their system to undo that. But this time, I placed myself in charge as He Who Remains."
"Okay, but that doesn't explain being a dick to everyone, especially Ant Man. I can understand Loki, but Scott?"
"Eh, voices in my head. I'm trying to be a better person, Boo. And good job maintaining Bruce!"
"Wait, in charge of the timekeepers?"
"Yeah, but that ship sailed when... well, let's leave that be for now."
"This is too much for Hulk's brain!" the monster's voice returned as he pulled his hair.
"There's something else about me."
"Oh, great," Bruce said with satire. Then Hulk reacted, "I wonder what that could be."
"Wanda from Big D's universe entrapped me and Rocky in a timeless hotel suite with a heart-shaped jacuzzi that felt like hundreds of years, that too is another story. With the shapeshifting gadgets, we took turns changing our genders, and... well," Tony took a deep breath and exhaled, "Ugh, I'm nonbinary. I'm into men now, especially cute young guys in red tights and a mouthwatering coc-" Hulk interrupted.
"Come on, Tony! Children watch this."
"Rocky even nicknamed my black hole Squishy-Squishy." Hulk squinted his eyes. Tony volunteered more details, "He named it that because of the sound it makes when Rocky's, you know, avenging it."
"Hmm," Hulk smiled and said, "I think I can get into this new Iron Man."
"No, thank you," he thought about the Bruce to Hulk sex scene.
Without much of a moment of Tony's refusal, Hulk inserted, "I'll just take it." Tony moved his hands in front as he stepped back to defend himself.
Suddenly, a screeching noise irked their ears as a spinning circle of fire manifested to their side. A man appeared in red tights. He greeted them and said, "Hey fellers, can you guess who I am?"
Deadpool.
Tony's eyes blossomed for the tight-fitted, muscular man. Deadpool immediately noticed Hulk's massive censor blur. He shifted his attention to the movie viewers no one could see and said, "Let's hope Bruce never transforms into Hulk during sex."
Tony scurried to Deadpool with his eyes locked on the tight red buns. "I know about you, Wade."
Hulk inserted from the background, "I can get into two guys."
Deadpool reacted, "Ouch!" He turned back to the viewers and commented, "They should have named his penis Doomsday."
"Who are you talking to?" Hulk asked.
Tony replied on his behalf, "Voices in his head, been there, done that." He turned to Deadpool's viewers and said, "Come on. I was born in wealth, never having to earn anything in life. I then became Iron Man after being tortured by terrorists. What felt like forever... hello? If you didn't see a disturbing situation unfolding, go back to DC's universe and be with your people there."
Deadpool was hurt that Tony spoke to his audience. "You greedy dickhead," he gestured to Tony's crotch, which resembled a woman's camel toe.
Another oddity alerted the group's attention from the ablaze ring as Wolverine appeared. Then The Fantastic Four! Deadpool spun back to his audience, "How much do you want to bet they too are gay now?"
"Hey, cutie pies," Wolverine said with a feminine persona. Deadpool gestured a cha-ching with a fist and a swift jerk of his arm.
"Yes!" Rob exclaimed. "Everyone's coming together as planned." Deadpool raised eyebrows at the phantom audience and immediately nodded rapidly with excitement.
"What are you planning now, Tony?" Bruce asked.
"Avengers Versus X-Men with a Fantastic Four Bang," he busted an evil laugh, "Muahahaha." He told the group, "I am Doomsday Iron Man!" Everyone's attention was caught by that.
Wolverine inserted, "But aren't you Tony Stalk posing as Doomsday?"
"I am Iron Man Doomsday!"
Deadpool returned to the audience and asked, "Did I mention we're also intellectually disabled in this one?"
Tony rephrased his slogan, "I am Dooms Man Iron Day!"
"Let's all have gay sex now!" Deadpool rallied the group and began pulling his bottoms down, bending over in front of Hulk while saying, "I can regenerate!" The scene goes black.
A new scene faded to Hawkeye. Astonished at something he's seeing off-screen, he spoke sarcastically, "You too are a variant?"
"Yup!" a familiar female voice replied, "This shit can go on and on and on."
Hawkeye shook his head and reacted, "Gay, right?"
"Bisexual. My pronouns are black/widow." Scarlett Johansson has been resurrected, as we can see, although her hair is Captain Marvel Endgame short. She turned to Deadpool's fan base and wiggled her tongue. Hawkeye's voice is heard saying that made no sense. She smiled and winked, a reflection of a star twinkled in her eye. The scene brightened white.
---------------- END ACT 17 FADE IN ACT 18 INT. THOR/FALCON IN BEDROOM/MIGHTY MOUSE INTRO ----------------
That's all I'm going to leak on you people. This shit must be ended.
---------------- FADE IN ACT 17 EXT. DARK WOODS ----------------
On his knees, Bruce Banner pounded the ground with his fists as his privileged skin changed green and his body transmuted into a giant. His pink slacks and white dress shirt parted. Ugh, he forgot his elastic molecule trousers because there was a censor blur hovering over his privates. As he stood, he gazed at a dark silhouette. Hulk screamed with a monstrous tone, "But you are Doomsday, not Iron Man!"
The dark figure revealed itself as Tony Stalk but in green tights and a matching-colored hoodie. With awe, Tony bit his bottom lip as he scanned Hulk's censor, saying, "What happened to always being Hulk?"
"Don't change the subject, Doomsday!" Hulk thunderously shouted, but a moment of confusion captured him. He reduced his voice to a mutter in Bruce's persona, "Tony."
Calmly, the man believed to be dead challenged him, "How do you know I'm not who I say I am in this multiverse reality intertwined with quantum realms?"
"Because I was there when Tony died on Xfinity Day!" Bruce yelled into Hulk's voice.
Little Greenie was perplexed by his buddy's statement and odd personality disorder, he questioned it, "Xfinity Day?"
Hulk's expression shrank in shame as he spoke in an undertone, "Product placement. Disney's stocks slumped. We have to say their trademark name three times."
"Yeah, yeah," Tony arrogantly babbled and stepped to the monster, saying, "But how do you know that wasn't a variant who switched places with me before," he pursed his lips and hesitated the extra income, "Xfinity Day."
Hulk backed away from the creepy Tony and voiced, "Why would you switch places with Doomsday?" He clutched his hair and pulled it with autistic rage. "That makes no sense in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, unless..." he pondered with a tongue in cheek.
"Ah, yes, the big unless... say it, Bruce," Tony said to the monster's eyes and walked his down to the censor blur, "Or Hulk." With a raised eyebrow, he skated the tip of his tongue against the inside of his upper lip with admiration for the massive manhood.
In Bruce's voice, "Unless there's a new writer."
"Bingo, Brucey."
"But Doomsday doesn't sound like a sacrificial lamb for the elites." Once again, the voice changed from Bruce to Hulk.
"Damn it, bro!" Tony was fed up. "Choose a damn voice! You're beginning to freak me out."
In Bruce's tone, "Me and Hulk are having another dispute."
Tony looks the other way, saying, "Great, this fucking shit again."
"Tony, watch the language, jeez," and again, the voice switched from Hulk to Bruce.
"What happened this time between you two?"
"After our dispute," Bruce said. "I transformed from Bruce-Hulk to Bruce. I was so fed up with Hulk that I went to a bar and had drinks. I met a woman, and we went back to my place. Well, that led to sex and," Bruce hesitated. "And... I had no idea Hulk wasn't into women, and..." the monster took over, "I got angry and split her open."
"What the fuck!" Astonished in disbelief, Tony was speechless as he cautiously stepped away from the monster. "In the Avengers' universe of Marvel? Who's this new writer?"
"There was so much blood," Hulk assured him as he fondled his privates, looking down.
Tony's bulging eyes watched Hulk show him what caused the woman to get split open. There was a moment of awkward silence as he recreated the scene in his mind. With a sudden reaction, "What did you do with the body?" Before the monster could speak, Tony responded reassuringly, "Doctor Strange." Hulk nodded.
Finally, Tony offered a get-out of this conversation, "I don't want to hear any more about this."
"Done!" Hulk implied. "As you were saying about the switch," Bruce said.
"That's an interesting story, skitzo." He tilted his head and explained, "You see, we all screwed the pooch by not taking down Thanos the first time. He caused significant damage to Doomsday's universe. The man lost his entire bloodline because of the abomination smurf. He had to confront Thanos before he snapped again."
"B-b-but when did you switch places?" Bruce pressed for information.
"Before Captain Marvel found me in the Guardians of the Galaxy realm, Big D had found me first." Hulk's brows knitted as his eyes sideways glanced at Tony's moniker for Doomsday.
"Then if you're Tony Stalk posing as Doomsday, I'm not saying Big D," Bruce insisted, Tony frowned. His voice transformed into Hulk's, "Why are you being such a dickhead to everyone while pretending to be Kang, and like," back to Bruce, "How's that even possible?"
"Well, that too is an interesting story," Tony said as he ventured down memory lane. "After we switched places, Big D sent me to his universe. With no hope of returning to this one, I continued my research in advanced technology and recreated Vision, but this time, I named him Rocky."
"Blonde hair and a tan... like from the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show?"
Tony winked and proceeded, "Well, Rocky and I learned about shapeshifting tech. However, that caused the time creeps to kidnap us. We whipped their asses into oblivion and then used their system to undo that. But this time, I placed myself in charge as He Who Remains."
"Okay, but that doesn't explain being a dick to everyone, especially Ant Man. I can understand Loki, but Scott?"
"Eh, voices in my head. I'm trying to be a better person, Boo. And good job maintaining Bruce!"
"Wait, in charge of the timekeepers?"
"Yeah, but that ship sailed when... well, let's leave that be for now."
"This is too much for Hulk's brain!" the monster's voice returned as he pulled his hair.
"There's something else about me."
"Oh, great," Bruce said with satire. Then Hulk reacted, "I wonder what that could be."
"Wanda from Big D's universe entrapped me and Rocky in a timeless hotel suite with a heart-shaped jacuzzi that felt like hundreds of years, that too is another story. With the shapeshifting gadgets, we took turns changing our genders, and... well," Tony took a deep breath and exhaled, "Ugh, I'm nonbinary. I'm into men now, especially cute young guys in red tights and a mouthwatering coc-" Hulk interrupted.
"Come on, Tony! Children watch this."
"Rocky even nicknamed my black hole Squishy-Squishy." Hulk squinted his eyes. Tony volunteered more details, "He named it that because of the sound it makes when Rocky's, you know, avenging it."
"Hmm," Hulk smiled and said, "I think I can get into this new Iron Man."
"No, thank you," he thought about the Bruce to Hulk sex scene.
Without much of a moment of Tony's refusal, Hulk inserted, "I'll just take it." Tony moved his hands in front as he stepped back to defend himself.
Suddenly, a screeching noise irked their ears as a spinning circle of fire manifested to their side. A man appeared in red tights. He greeted them and said, "Hey fellers, can you guess who I am?"
Deadpool.
Tony's eyes blossomed for the tight-fitted, muscular man. Deadpool immediately noticed Hulk's massive censor blur. He shifted his attention to the movie viewers no one could see and said, "Let's hope Bruce never transforms into Hulk during sex."
Tony scurried to Deadpool with his eyes locked on the tight red buns. "I know about you, Wade."
Hulk inserted from the background, "I can get into two guys."
Deadpool reacted, "Ouch!" He turned back to the viewers and commented, "They should have named his penis Doomsday."
"Who are you talking to?" Hulk asked.
Tony replied on his behalf, "Voices in his head, been there, done that." He turned to Deadpool's viewers and said, "Come on. I was born in wealth, never having to earn anything in life. I then became Iron Man after being tortured by terrorists. What felt like forever... hello? If you didn't see a disturbing situation unfolding, go back to DC's universe and be with your people there."
Deadpool was hurt that Tony spoke to his audience. "You greedy dickhead," he gestured to Tony's crotch, which resembled a woman's camel toe.
Another oddity alerted the group's attention from the ablaze ring as Wolverine appeared. Then The Fantastic Four! Deadpool spun back to his audience, "How much do you want to bet they too are gay now?"
"Hey, cutie pies," Wolverine said with a feminine persona. Deadpool gestured a cha-ching with a fist and a swift jerk of his arm.
"Yes!" Rob exclaimed. "Everyone's coming together as planned." Deadpool raised eyebrows at the phantom audience and immediately nodded rapidly with excitement.
"What are you planning now, Tony?" Bruce asked.
"Avengers Versus X-Men with a Fantastic Four Bang," he busted an evil laugh, "Muahahaha." He told the group, "I am Doomsday Iron Man!" Everyone's attention was caught by that.
Wolverine inserted, "But aren't you Tony Stalk posing as Doomsday?"
"I am Iron Man Doomsday!"
Deadpool returned to the audience and asked, "Did I mention we're also intellectually disabled in this one?"
Tony rephrased his slogan, "I am Dooms Man Iron Day!"
"Let's all have gay sex now!" Deadpool rallied the group and began pulling his bottoms down, bending over in front of Hulk while saying, "I can regenerate!" The scene goes black.
A new scene faded to Hawkeye. Astonished at something he's seeing off-screen, he spoke sarcastically, "You too are a variant?"
"Yup!" a familiar female voice replied, "This shit can go on and on and on."
Hawkeye shook his head and reacted, "Gay, right?"
"Bisexual. My pronouns are black/widow." Scarlett Johansson has been resurrected, as we can see, although her hair is Captain Marvel Endgame short. She turned to Deadpool's fan base and wiggled her tongue. Hawkeye's voice is heard saying that made no sense. She smiled and winked, a reflection of a star twinkled in her eye. The scene brightened white.
---------------- END ACT 17 FADE IN ACT 18 INT. THOR/FALCON IN BEDROOM/MIGHTY MOUSE INTRO ----------------
That's all I'm going to leak on you people. This shit must be ended.
