fvolkek
Diamond
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2021
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Found this thread on .is and i think you're gonna like it
Found this guy on reddit:
First I created a fake LinkedIn profile, and turned on job interests for every city I was willing to live in so recruiters could find me. Initially this was just to troll recruiters by parodying your typical millennial yuppie.
The recruiters came almost instantly. I was averaging about 6-10 a day and they all looked like this. It was like being a hot blonde sorority slut on Tinder. About half the jobs were from famous companies like Apple, Facebook etc. The other half were from startups or east coast financial firms looking for engineers or machine learning or whatever.
I had no interest in working for Facebook, but this guy messaged me relentlessly once a week for almost 3 months. After that he gave up and another guy from Facebook continued where he left off. I ignored them both much like a guy in the friend zone.
I soon developed an ingenious way to turn this troll account into something productive. I only did this with the jobs I was interested in. The ficticous acount would fake a familly emergency, and recommend his "friend" (me) who was "highly competent".
As you can see it was very effective. I was basically just copy pasting the same story and only changing the Hi ____, for the recruiters name.
I would always ignore them for a little bit, just to get them desperate.
They were always interested in interviewing me even though my resume was just average, and nowhere near my alias' level of posturing. I guess since they believed my alias was real, they stamp of approval really went a long way.
They would always contact me immediately and set up the first round of interviews.
Most of the time I wouldn't even need to apply, they would bend over backwards for me and I would never have to actually apply for any of the jobs.
More tips from the guy:
1. If you aren't hot shit at posturing (big name schools and big name companies already on resume) don't waste time applying to well known companies. They will never read it and even if they do they'll take forever and you'll have to deal with HR bullshit and shit salary. Go for lesser known startups that have gotten a lot of funding. They won't have many applicants because people don't know about them and usually won't have an HR department which means your resume will be read by engineers. They will probably contract their HR services to an online service just for payroll and signed documents. You can find them by googling top startups with funding in [city name] or looking on AngelList, CrunchBase or whatever.
2. Create a fake LinkedIn account with outstanding credentials. Ex: MIT double major summa cum laude engineering + Stanford PhD working at Google as Principal Engineer with internships at all the big name companies. You'll get more attention on LinkedIn from recruiters than a hot blonde sorority slut with double Ds on Tinder from desperate men. When you find a job that looks interesting, simply say "I'm sorry I can't take this job because [insert excuse here], but I have a good friend (you) that is a good fit for this job. [sell yourself more here]" Usually they'll contact you immediately (as long as your resume isn't garbage) since recruiters are idiots and desperate for their commission and you the stamp of approval from a hot shot. It's up to you from there.
3. On your resume on the bottom line in white 2pt font put a ton of key words. Ex "MIT Stanford Google machine learning Tensor Flow neural net Microsoft" etc.
4. Exaggerate your resume as much as possible. Lie about everything that they cannot verify, including dates of employment. Put all competing services/technologies on there. For example if you write AWS experience, you need to also put Azure and GCP. If you write AngularJS you also need to write React.JS etc. Some companies are really shallow and reject you if you haven't used a specific service. I got an offer reneged by mother fucking Microsoft because I had AWS, GCP but not their shitty Azure service on my resume.
5. Don't ever put GPA on resume, I've seen 3.7s get rejected for being too low. Most time they won't even ask if you don't bring it up, especially if you've had a job after graduating. I have a low 2.0 and nobody has ever asked because I lied using the method in tips 6 and 7.
6. If you are a new grad do not ever admit to being one. Nobody wants new grads. NOBODY. Lie about a position like I mention in the next tip. Avoid the rat race and separate yourself from the mob of unemployed college students by not writing you dates of attendance. They will just assume (incorrectly) that you graduated the year of your first job on your resume. Don't correct them.
7. If you have a gap in your resume invent a "startup" by making a semi-legit website for it and claim to be an employee. Use friends as references. If you have no friends get a burner phone or google voice #.
8. Always say YES to questions like "do you know/have you used [service or technology]". Learn it later. Again lots of companies, their employees are really shallow.
9. NEVER fall into HR trap questions. "What are your salary expectations?" Do not under any circumstances answer this. It's just like when a girl asks how many women you've been with. Too much and you're a man whore, too few and you're desperate. Salary is same way, too high and they'll think they can't afford you and reject, too little and they'll think you're desperate so they'll think you have trouble finding a job. Instead lie about not knowing what living costs will be in that area or any excuse to dodge the question. Do not ever admit to being unemployed. If you can't make up a job like I stated above say you were traveling, working in another country (hard to verify small companies in foreign countries don't do this for Microsoft or Google for example), or in a fucking coma. HR people think they're slick because they have a BS degree in sociology or whatever but it's really easy to tell if they're leading you into a trap.
10. Remember, interviews are like auditioning for a movie, you need to rehearse your exaggerated lies like a fucking script and deliver an Oscar worthy performance.
Found this guy on reddit:
First I created a fake LinkedIn profile, and turned on job interests for every city I was willing to live in so recruiters could find me. Initially this was just to troll recruiters by parodying your typical millennial yuppie.
The recruiters came almost instantly. I was averaging about 6-10 a day and they all looked like this. It was like being a hot blonde sorority slut on Tinder. About half the jobs were from famous companies like Apple, Facebook etc. The other half were from startups or east coast financial firms looking for engineers or machine learning or whatever.
I had no interest in working for Facebook, but this guy messaged me relentlessly once a week for almost 3 months. After that he gave up and another guy from Facebook continued where he left off. I ignored them both much like a guy in the friend zone.
I soon developed an ingenious way to turn this troll account into something productive. I only did this with the jobs I was interested in. The ficticous acount would fake a familly emergency, and recommend his "friend" (me) who was "highly competent".
As you can see it was very effective. I was basically just copy pasting the same story and only changing the Hi ____, for the recruiters name.
I would always ignore them for a little bit, just to get them desperate.
They were always interested in interviewing me even though my resume was just average, and nowhere near my alias' level of posturing. I guess since they believed my alias was real, they stamp of approval really went a long way.
They would always contact me immediately and set up the first round of interviews.
Most of the time I wouldn't even need to apply, they would bend over backwards for me and I would never have to actually apply for any of the jobs.
More tips from the guy:
1. If you aren't hot shit at posturing (big name schools and big name companies already on resume) don't waste time applying to well known companies. They will never read it and even if they do they'll take forever and you'll have to deal with HR bullshit and shit salary. Go for lesser known startups that have gotten a lot of funding. They won't have many applicants because people don't know about them and usually won't have an HR department which means your resume will be read by engineers. They will probably contract their HR services to an online service just for payroll and signed documents. You can find them by googling top startups with funding in [city name] or looking on AngelList, CrunchBase or whatever.
2. Create a fake LinkedIn account with outstanding credentials. Ex: MIT double major summa cum laude engineering + Stanford PhD working at Google as Principal Engineer with internships at all the big name companies. You'll get more attention on LinkedIn from recruiters than a hot blonde sorority slut with double Ds on Tinder from desperate men. When you find a job that looks interesting, simply say "I'm sorry I can't take this job because [insert excuse here], but I have a good friend (you) that is a good fit for this job. [sell yourself more here]" Usually they'll contact you immediately (as long as your resume isn't garbage) since recruiters are idiots and desperate for their commission and you the stamp of approval from a hot shot. It's up to you from there.
3. On your resume on the bottom line in white 2pt font put a ton of key words. Ex "MIT Stanford Google machine learning Tensor Flow neural net Microsoft" etc.
4. Exaggerate your resume as much as possible. Lie about everything that they cannot verify, including dates of employment. Put all competing services/technologies on there. For example if you write AWS experience, you need to also put Azure and GCP. If you write AngularJS you also need to write React.JS etc. Some companies are really shallow and reject you if you haven't used a specific service. I got an offer reneged by mother fucking Microsoft because I had AWS, GCP but not their shitty Azure service on my resume.
5. Don't ever put GPA on resume, I've seen 3.7s get rejected for being too low. Most time they won't even ask if you don't bring it up, especially if you've had a job after graduating. I have a low 2.0 and nobody has ever asked because I lied using the method in tips 6 and 7.
6. If you are a new grad do not ever admit to being one. Nobody wants new grads. NOBODY. Lie about a position like I mention in the next tip. Avoid the rat race and separate yourself from the mob of unemployed college students by not writing you dates of attendance. They will just assume (incorrectly) that you graduated the year of your first job on your resume. Don't correct them.
7. If you have a gap in your resume invent a "startup" by making a semi-legit website for it and claim to be an employee. Use friends as references. If you have no friends get a burner phone or google voice #.
8. Always say YES to questions like "do you know/have you used [service or technology]". Learn it later. Again lots of companies, their employees are really shallow.
9. NEVER fall into HR trap questions. "What are your salary expectations?" Do not under any circumstances answer this. It's just like when a girl asks how many women you've been with. Too much and you're a man whore, too few and you're desperate. Salary is same way, too high and they'll think they can't afford you and reject, too little and they'll think you're desperate so they'll think you have trouble finding a job. Instead lie about not knowing what living costs will be in that area or any excuse to dodge the question. Do not ever admit to being unemployed. If you can't make up a job like I stated above say you were traveling, working in another country (hard to verify small companies in foreign countries don't do this for Microsoft or Google for example), or in a fucking coma. HR people think they're slick because they have a BS degree in sociology or whatever but it's really easy to tell if they're leading you into a trap.
10. Remember, interviews are like auditioning for a movie, you need to rehearse your exaggerated lies like a fucking script and deliver an Oscar worthy performance.
