imabadman02
And I say it's time now
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2025
- Posts
- 604
- Reputation
- 514
I spent my prime youth since Christmas 2014 playing Smash competitively, thus while everyone was living their life, I was playing a FUCKING VIDEO GAME 
Even as I got better, I never even at least fit into my niche and made friends. I just played online against faceless newbs and the few times I played at local tournaments, my lack of confidence exposed me as a fraud. I do believe I could've been high level, but I never had the discipline to even hone my skills and make myself comfortable around other people IRL for the only thing I spent my life doing. Things didn't change when Ultimate on Switch came out. If I couldn't even excel at a video game, how could I even excel in anything important? In Summer 21 many of the top retards in that community were exposed to be rapists and pedophiles. The game had no financial reward to reap, so it was an utterly subhuman hobby which I wasted years on. Even the best player of that game realized this and left it all behind
During this whole time, I never once figured out how my future was going to look. I've been to career fairs and still I didn't know. When I got into college, I failed my freshman year twice and didn't submit a single assignment because of some ADHD obsession I had. I got into a culinary program and I managed to pass despite being a slow retard with zero creativity and snail work speed. All this started because my mom got me a job at some goyslop joint and I just got set into a food industry rabbithole because I just couldn't think of literally anything else. Now, I have a job where I just clean plates and hash out salads. All I can think about is how retarded "culinary arts" is. The idea of eating something because it tastes and looks good even if it's utter slop for nutrition. I'm 23 and I fucking hate this path I'm on, but I have zero other alternatives as of yet, so I can't just quit.
To make things even worse, I've gotten raped by lookism and only truly now I've come to the realization that not only am I am an autistic mental freak with zero social skills, but I'm actually sub 5 squishy, boneless beaner with literally zero appeal to white women I want to be with. In order for me to even be the man I want to be, I have get stacks worth of surgery money when I'm literally a glorified dishwasher atp with zero other applicable skills. If it weren't for me fearing death, I would just kill myself and free myself from this endless purgatory of mediocrity that my life has been pulverized into. I don't have the capacity to even start building a real life. All I want atp is to get married, but I'll never have the affection of a high quality mature white woman because I'm a panfaced Indio aspie manchild who can't even take care of himself
Even as I got better, I never even at least fit into my niche and made friends. I just played online against faceless newbs and the few times I played at local tournaments, my lack of confidence exposed me as a fraud. I do believe I could've been high level, but I never had the discipline to even hone my skills and make myself comfortable around other people IRL for the only thing I spent my life doing. Things didn't change when Ultimate on Switch came out. If I couldn't even excel at a video game, how could I even excel in anything important? In Summer 21 many of the top retards in that community were exposed to be rapists and pedophiles. The game had no financial reward to reap, so it was an utterly subhuman hobby which I wasted years on. Even the best player of that game realized this and left it all behind
During this whole time, I never once figured out how my future was going to look. I've been to career fairs and still I didn't know. When I got into college, I failed my freshman year twice and didn't submit a single assignment because of some ADHD obsession I had. I got into a culinary program and I managed to pass despite being a slow retard with zero creativity and snail work speed. All this started because my mom got me a job at some goyslop joint and I just got set into a food industry rabbithole because I just couldn't think of literally anything else. Now, I have a job where I just clean plates and hash out salads. All I can think about is how retarded "culinary arts" is. The idea of eating something because it tastes and looks good even if it's utter slop for nutrition. I'm 23 and I fucking hate this path I'm on, but I have zero other alternatives as of yet, so I can't just quit.
To make things even worse, I've gotten raped by lookism and only truly now I've come to the realization that not only am I am an autistic mental freak with zero social skills, but I'm actually sub 5 squishy, boneless beaner with literally zero appeal to white women I want to be with. In order for me to even be the man I want to be, I have get stacks worth of surgery money when I'm literally a glorified dishwasher atp with zero other applicable skills. If it weren't for me fearing death, I would just kill myself and free myself from this endless purgatory of mediocrity that my life has been pulverized into. I don't have the capacity to even start building a real life. All I want atp is to get married, but I'll never have the affection of a high quality mature white woman because I'm a panfaced Indio aspie manchild who can't even take care of himself
