NuclearBrainReturns
Matthew 4:1-11
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My experience with weed started off as this very mind-opening experience with almost open eyed visuals. It was as if my minds eye became so heightened that I was almost able to materialise my visualisations into physical sight, if that makes sense.
It was pretty good to begin with, though it often started with intense anxiety which I learned to control and deal with over time. The thoughts I would be able to think in my head were mindblowing and so creative. It was as if the drug overclocked my already naturally imaginative mind into something superhuman. I remember one time I had written an entire plot to a video game I thought would be cool to make. I still have the script on my computer and reading back it is a pretty cool idea for a game.
But then, it all changed.
Gradually over time, I started to get thoughts that were less creative and helpful, and more just 'raw data' if that makes sense. You will have to forgive me in the descriptions of this as I have never really sat down and tried to describe it in writing before.
It was as if the drug was slowly bringing my mind into a state where it would be able to process tonnes of information that I was not supposed to know about. That the creative fun element in the beginning was a primer for the future mindfuck I was about to receive.
I distinctly remember getting the feeling during one experience that something wasn't right. It then dawned on me that I had been receiving information about reality that the human brain is not supposed to think about or know. I later realised it was awfully similar to the 'garden of eyes' in the movie 'Kubo and the Two Strings'
In this scene, it cuts out the revealing plot spoiler but essentially, the eyes look into Kubo's soul and reveal knowledge to him that he is not suppose to know. They do it to entice their victims in the afterlife to go deeper and deeper into the water to gain more and more knowledge so they drown. Pretty scary concept to put into a kids film tbh.
But what I was experiencing on weed was exactly that. I began to process the human body as separate from my soul. I could visualise the digestive processes starting from the feeling of hunger, to seeing two rows of teeth mashing food, to swallowing and then to excretion. I remember watching my friend get the 'munchies' and start eating ravenously whilst thinking about this idea and it disgusted me so much that I still, to this day, can not eat whenever I am high. It makes me want to vomit.
If I were to describe it further, it is as if this drug was attempting to separate my soul from my body inside my own head. That it was trying to make me view my soul and my body as two entirely different things rather than being joined. This is known in psychology as depersonalisation.
I remember looking at my hands one time and thinking 'I don't identify with my hands. These aren't my hands'. I then looked at my hands and felt I was looking out the eyes of a gigantic human construct the size of the statue of liberty. That all of my surroundings were very small and I was gigantic. I later found out that depersonalisation is a very common symptom of marijuana usage but combined with everything else it completely put me off ever smoking it again. I have never had an experience like that with any other drug, even DXM/Cough Syrup or magic mushrooms.
I've spoken to other people about this and have heard very similar stories. One of them being about sex and lust rather than eating and digestion, but very similar in nature. They saw in their minds eye giant penises and throbbing vaginas banging eachother and orgasming in pleasure so intense that it was unnatural to experience (their words). I'm glad I never had something like that come into my mind.
I hope this makes sense. It's very difficult to describe and sounds like schizophrenia but I have never experienced anything like that again since. Weed really does something to the mind of those who are spiritually inclined. I have no idea how some people can just say "dude weed, it's like totally chill". Weed, for me, is not some chill out passive drug, its an entire hallucenogenic experience on par with mushrooms (thought pattern wise).
This is a comment from the youtube video linked underneath describing yet again, something similar:
"I have no idea how so many people can handle weed. That stuff is crazy powerful. I had awful words and phrases appear in my mind. They were not from me but some outside source. On two different occasions I had open eye visuals. I was amazed at how wise it can make you but the hell comes at you pretty quickly. After the first few times of it being amazing it just became hell."
Also, that is a fantastic video you should watch. Makes so much sense considering what I have written here.
Be careful with mind altering substances.
Tagging some people that may be interested in this:
@Umbra @Man Against Time @Magical Apple
It was pretty good to begin with, though it often started with intense anxiety which I learned to control and deal with over time. The thoughts I would be able to think in my head were mindblowing and so creative. It was as if the drug overclocked my already naturally imaginative mind into something superhuman. I remember one time I had written an entire plot to a video game I thought would be cool to make. I still have the script on my computer and reading back it is a pretty cool idea for a game.
But then, it all changed.
Gradually over time, I started to get thoughts that were less creative and helpful, and more just 'raw data' if that makes sense. You will have to forgive me in the descriptions of this as I have never really sat down and tried to describe it in writing before.
It was as if the drug was slowly bringing my mind into a state where it would be able to process tonnes of information that I was not supposed to know about. That the creative fun element in the beginning was a primer for the future mindfuck I was about to receive.
I distinctly remember getting the feeling during one experience that something wasn't right. It then dawned on me that I had been receiving information about reality that the human brain is not supposed to think about or know. I later realised it was awfully similar to the 'garden of eyes' in the movie 'Kubo and the Two Strings'
In this scene, it cuts out the revealing plot spoiler but essentially, the eyes look into Kubo's soul and reveal knowledge to him that he is not suppose to know. They do it to entice their victims in the afterlife to go deeper and deeper into the water to gain more and more knowledge so they drown. Pretty scary concept to put into a kids film tbh.
But what I was experiencing on weed was exactly that. I began to process the human body as separate from my soul. I could visualise the digestive processes starting from the feeling of hunger, to seeing two rows of teeth mashing food, to swallowing and then to excretion. I remember watching my friend get the 'munchies' and start eating ravenously whilst thinking about this idea and it disgusted me so much that I still, to this day, can not eat whenever I am high. It makes me want to vomit.
If I were to describe it further, it is as if this drug was attempting to separate my soul from my body inside my own head. That it was trying to make me view my soul and my body as two entirely different things rather than being joined. This is known in psychology as depersonalisation.
I remember looking at my hands one time and thinking 'I don't identify with my hands. These aren't my hands'. I then looked at my hands and felt I was looking out the eyes of a gigantic human construct the size of the statue of liberty. That all of my surroundings were very small and I was gigantic. I later found out that depersonalisation is a very common symptom of marijuana usage but combined with everything else it completely put me off ever smoking it again. I have never had an experience like that with any other drug, even DXM/Cough Syrup or magic mushrooms.
I've spoken to other people about this and have heard very similar stories. One of them being about sex and lust rather than eating and digestion, but very similar in nature. They saw in their minds eye giant penises and throbbing vaginas banging eachother and orgasming in pleasure so intense that it was unnatural to experience (their words). I'm glad I never had something like that come into my mind.
I hope this makes sense. It's very difficult to describe and sounds like schizophrenia but I have never experienced anything like that again since. Weed really does something to the mind of those who are spiritually inclined. I have no idea how some people can just say "dude weed, it's like totally chill". Weed, for me, is not some chill out passive drug, its an entire hallucenogenic experience on par with mushrooms (thought pattern wise).
This is a comment from the youtube video linked underneath describing yet again, something similar:
"I have no idea how so many people can handle weed. That stuff is crazy powerful. I had awful words and phrases appear in my mind. They were not from me but some outside source. On two different occasions I had open eye visuals. I was amazed at how wise it can make you but the hell comes at you pretty quickly. After the first few times of it being amazing it just became hell."
Also, that is a fantastic video you should watch. Makes so much sense considering what I have written here.
Be careful with mind altering substances.
Tagging some people that may be interested in this:
@Umbra @Man Against Time @Magical Apple
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