Men dislike you for no reason when you ascend

[PhuccinManlet]

Once you ascend, there’s a tradeoff: women like you for no reason, but men start disliking you by default. Many guys can’t stand the sight of another man getting attention especially when they aren’t getting any themselves.


The only male friendships I’ve managed to build or maintain are with guys who are either disconnected from the whole looks and dating hierarchy and aren't neurotypical. Those friends actually appreciate certain aspects of appearance and will hype you up without envy, because they are bluepilled.


But men who are aware of the value of looks will hate your guts. It's worse than female jealousy. They’ll ignore your positive traits, dismiss the attention you receive, and shit on your flaws to put you down. If they don’t know you yet, they’ll avoid you altogether or just dislike you on sight. If you happen to share a friend group, you’ll notice subtle jabs, dismissive comments, or constant downplaying whenever they get the chance. And even when they’re “mature enough” to not show their insecurity to the world, you can still feel the silent suffering whenever you’re acknowledged or praised.


There are two main ways this plays out:

1. The guy gets loud and tries to socially dominate you and redirect the attention to himself. Like talk over you, interrupt you, one-up you and shit like this.

2. He goes quiet and sulks in the background.


If one of your friends has a girlfriend you know, you can almost guarantee the friendship will deteriorate because your very existence feels like a threat. You will suddenly be the source in their relationship problems now regarding trust, cheating and boundaries.


In college, I have many female friends, and whenever their boyfriends show up, I could feel them staring at me from across the room with hostility. And I know they want to break my skull open. If the gf interacts with a sub5 the boyfriend literally doesn't give a shit. At first I thought I was imagining it, since they didn’t even know me. But usually a couple of days later the girlfriend would mention that the boyfriend had, in fact, started bringing me up out of nowhere in a jealous way.


Even when the boyfriend wasn’t controlling or toxic, if we were all part of the same larger friend group with other guys, he would make sure to keep me specifically away from her and never invite me.

I know this is water and envy is extremely common but how do you all deal with this? I’ve been thinking about it because I have formed far more friendships with women than with guys in college. And it's much harder because even if I act nice they can't get over the initial negative bias.

 

[mirinturbolowinhib]

Once you ascend, there’s a tradeoff: women like you for no reason, but men start disliking you by default. Many guys can’t stand the sight of another man getting attention especially when they aren’t getting any themselves.


The only male friendships I’ve managed to build or maintain are with guys who are either disconnected from the whole looks and dating hierarchy and aren't neurotypical. Those friends actually appreciate certain aspects of appearance and will hype you up without envy, because they are bluepilled.


But men who are aware of the value of looks will hate your guts. It's worse than female jealousy. They’ll ignore your positive traits, dismiss the attention you receive, and shit on your flaws to put you down. If they don’t know you yet, they’ll avoid you altogether or just dislike you on sight. If you happen to share a friend group, you’ll notice subtle jabs, dismissive comments, or constant downplaying whenever they get the chance. And even when they’re “mature enough” to not show their insecurity to the world, you can still feel the silent suffering whenever you’re acknowledged or praised.


There are two main ways this plays out:

1. The guy gets loud and tries to socially dominate you and redirect the attention to himself. Like talk over you, interrupt you, one-up you and shit like this.

2. He goes quiet and sulks in the background.


If one of your friends has a girlfriend you know, you can almost guarantee the friendship will deteriorate because your very existence feels like a threat. You will suddenly be the source in their relationship problems now regarding trust, cheating and boundaries.


In college, I have many female friends, and whenever their boyfriends show up, I could feel them staring at me from across the room with hostility. And I know they want to break my skull open. If the gf interacts with a sub5 the boyfriend literally doesn't give a shit. At first I thought I was imagining it, since they didn’t even know me. But usually a couple of days later the girlfriend would mention that the boyfriend had, in fact, started bringing me up out of nowhere in a jealous way.


Even when the boyfriend wasn’t controlling or toxic, if we were all part of the same larger friend group with other guys, he would make sure to keep me specifically away from her and never invite me.

I know this is water and envy is extremely common but how do you all deal with this? I’ve been thinking about it because I have formed far more friendships with women than with guys in college. And it's much harder because even if I act nice they can't get over the initial negative bias.

So why are you here then faggot

 

[fwhr glazer]

Dnr manlet

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Once you ascend, there’s a tradeoff: women like you for no reason, but men start disliking you by default. Many guys can’t stand the sight of another man getting attention especially when they aren’t getting any themselves.


The only male friendships I’ve managed to build or maintain are with guys who are either disconnected from the whole looks and dating hierarchy and aren't neurotypical. Those friends actually appreciate certain aspects of appearance and will hype you up without envy, because they are bluepilled.


But men who are aware of the value of looks will hate your guts. It's worse than female jealousy. They’ll ignore your positive traits, dismiss the attention you receive, and shit on your flaws to put you down. If they don’t know you yet, they’ll avoid you altogether or just dislike you on sight. If you happen to share a friend group, you’ll notice subtle jabs, dismissive comments, or constant downplaying whenever they get the chance. And even when they’re “mature enough” to not show their insecurity to the world, you can still feel the silent suffering whenever you’re acknowledged or praised.


There are two main ways this plays out:

1. The guy gets loud and tries to socially dominate you and redirect the attention to himself. Like talk over you, interrupt you, one-up you and shit like this.

2. He goes quiet and sulks in the background.


If one of your friends has a girlfriend you know, you can almost guarantee the friendship will deteriorate because your very existence feels like a threat. You will suddenly be the source in their relationship problems now regarding trust, cheating and boundaries.


In college, I have many female friends, and whenever their boyfriends show up, I could feel them staring at me from across the room with hostility. And I know they want to break my skull open. If the gf interacts with a sub5 the boyfriend literally doesn't give a shit. At first I thought I was imagining it, since they didn’t even know me. But usually a couple of days later the girlfriend would mention that the boyfriend had, in fact, started bringing me up out of nowhere in a jealous way.


Even when the boyfriend wasn’t controlling or toxic, if we were all part of the same larger friend group with other guys, he would make sure to keep me specifically away from her and never invite me.

I know this is water and envy is extremely common but how do you all deal with this? I’ve been thinking about it because I have formed far more friendships with women than with guys in college. And it's much harder because even if I act nice they can't get over the initial negative bias.

I've always gotten attention and that's not a rare thing. It's never made me hate another person for getting attention. I can be very selective with attention and often don't want any. That's why I like it here. I can always put the phone down.

 

[pashanimair]

I get exactly what you’re saying, bro. It’s not paranoia or insecurity, it’s literally how male dynamics play out once you stand out even slightly in the dating/looks hierarchy. Most people underestimate just how fragile male egos are when it comes to attention, especially if it involves women. You’re basically describing in detail something I’ve noticed too: the automatic hostility you receive from other guys the moment they sense you’re a “threat” socially or romantically.

It’s almost ironic women will often like you without any logical reason, but men will dislike you without any logical reason. The “default setting” for most dudes becomes envy, subtle sabotage, or fake friendliness that hides resentment. And like you said, the reactions usually split into two camps: either the loud, try-hard type who constantly tries to one-up you or interrupt you, or the quiet sulker who avoids you but can’t hide the tension whenever you’re around.

What makes it worse is that even when you try to be chill, nice, or humble, it doesn’t change much. Their brains are wired to see you as competition, so all your positive traits just get ignored. If you get attention, it’s not because of your personality, intelligence, or humor in their eyes it’s always “because of your looks” and they’ll diminish you for it. That’s why friendships with guys who are deeply aware of the “hierarchy” almost always collapse eventually.

The girlfriend situation you mentioned is also spot on. A guy could trust his girlfriend completely, but your existence alone becomes an insecurity trigger. Suddenly you’re the “problem,” not because of anything you did, but because he feels threatened. And like you observed, if the girlfriend interacts with someone he considers unattractive, it doesn’t even register as a threat. That contrast alone shows how much this stuff is driven by looks-based status anxiety.

Honestly, I don’t think there’s a perfect way to “deal with it” other than acceptance. You can’t rewire human jealousy. What you can do is choose your circle more carefully. The only male friendships that work long-term are with guys who either genuinely don’t care about social hierarchies, or who are so secure in themselves that your presence doesn’t rattle them. Those guys are rare, but when you find them it’s worth holding onto.

And yeah, naturally you’ll end up with more female friends because women don’t usually treat you as direct competition in the same way. But even that has its limits, since their boyfriends can end up dragging you into conflict anyway. It’s basically a lose-lose situation unless you’re selective about who you spend time with.

So in the end, the only way to survive this without going crazy is to accept that envy will follow you, stay authentic, and keep your social circle small but genuine. Fake friends, insecure dudes, jealous boyfriends they’ll all cycle out eventually

 

[PhuccinManlet]

I've always gotten attention and that's not a rare thing. It's never made me hate another person for getting attention. I can be very selective with attention and often don't want any. That's why I like it here. I can always put the phone down.

That's good, and I don’t doubt that there are people who don’t let attention get to them or feel jealous when others receive it. You might genuinely be one of those exceptions. I think the difference is that for a lot of guys, attention feels like a rare thing so when they see someone else getting it, especially from women, it can trigger insecurity or resentment.

 

[PhuccinManlet]

I get exactly what you’re saying, bro. It’s not paranoia or insecurity, it’s literally how male dynamics play out once you stand out even slightly in the dating/looks hierarchy. Most people underestimate just how fragile male egos are when it comes to attention, especially if it involves women. You’re basically describing in detail something I’ve noticed too: the automatic hostility you receive from other guys the moment they sense you’re a “threat” socially or romantically.

It’s almost ironic women will often like you without any logical reason, but men will dislike you without any logical reason. The “default setting” for most dudes becomes envy, subtle sabotage, or fake friendliness that hides resentment. And like you said, the reactions usually split into two camps: either the loud, try-hard type who constantly tries to one-up you or interrupt you, or the quiet sulker who avoids you but can’t hide the tension whenever you’re around.

What makes it worse is that even when you try to be chill, nice, or humble, it doesn’t change much. Their brains are wired to see you as competition, so all your positive traits just get ignored. If you get attention, it’s not because of your personality, intelligence, or humor in their eyes it’s always “because of your looks” and they’ll diminish you for it. That’s why friendships with guys who are deeply aware of the “hierarchy” almost always collapse eventually.

The girlfriend situation you mentioned is also spot on. A guy could trust his girlfriend completely, but your existence alone becomes an insecurity trigger. Suddenly you’re the “problem,” not because of anything you did, but because he feels threatened. And like you observed, if the girlfriend interacts with someone he considers unattractive, it doesn’t even register as a threat. That contrast alone shows how much this stuff is driven by looks-based status anxiety.

Honestly, I don’t think there’s a perfect way to “deal with it” other than acceptance. You can’t rewire human jealousy. What you can do is choose your circle more carefully. The only male friendships that work long-term are with guys who either genuinely don’t care about social hierarchies, or who are so secure in themselves that your presence doesn’t rattle them. Those guys are rare, but when you find them it’s worth holding onto.

And yeah, naturally you’ll end up with more female friends because women don’t usually treat you as direct competition in the same way. But even that has its limits, since their boyfriends can end up dragging you into conflict anyway. It’s basically a lose-lose situation unless you’re selective about who you spend time with.

So in the end, the only way to survive this without going crazy is to accept that envy will follow you, stay authentic, and keep your social circle small but genuine. Fake friends, insecure dudes, jealous boyfriends they’ll all cycle out eventually

Exactly, nailed it word for word

 

[Lefty Rankin]

That's good, and I don’t doubt that there are people who don’t let attention get to them or feel jealous when others receive it. You might genuinely be one of those exceptions. I think the difference is that for a lot of guys, attention feels like a rare thing so when they see someone else getting it, especially from women, it can trigger insecurity or resentment.

Might just be young. When you're going through middle school or high school it can be normal.

 

[PhuccinManlet]

Might just be young. When you're going through middle school or high school it can be normal.

Definitely middle school is probably where it starts. I think middle schoolers view it more about popularity and being liked rather than dating yet. I’m in college now, and that’s when it's all about dating and social life which is why this mindset feels so prevalent. But I believe it'll fade as people get older and are busy with life, because they won’t have time to be dramatic over dumb childish shit

 

[LegendaryKennen]

true

 

[Squidwardmaxx]

because they won’t have time to be dramatic over dumb childish shit

we'll be 40 soon xddd

 

[Squidwardmaxx]

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Definitely middle school is probably where it starts. I think middle schoolers view it more about popularity and being liked rather than dating yet. I’m in college now, and that’s when it's all about dating and social life which is why this mindset feels so prevalent. But I believe it'll fade as people get older and are busy with life, because they won’t have time to be dramatic over dumb childish shit

Middle school is where it should end too.

 

[ezio6]

get jacked to show dominance fag

 

[sub5outsider]

men are your competition if they dislike you or see you as thread its a compliment

 

[superpsycho]

for some reason they still dislike me even though i never ascended

 

[Lean4Life]

I don't even bother to try to maintain friendships with other men at this point. I even get some of this from my own family members.

 

[John6Enjoyer]

Once you ascend, there’s a tradeoff: women like you for no reason, but men start disliking you by default. Many guys can’t stand the sight of another man getting attention especially when they aren’t getting any themselves.


The only male friendships I’ve managed to build or maintain are with guys who are either disconnected from the whole looks and dating hierarchy and aren't neurotypical. Those friends actually appreciate certain aspects of appearance and will hype you up without envy, because they are bluepilled.


But men who are aware of the value of looks will hate your guts. It's worse than female jealousy. They’ll ignore your positive traits, dismiss the attention you receive, and shit on your flaws to put you down. If they don’t know you yet, they’ll avoid you altogether or just dislike you on sight. If you happen to share a friend group, you’ll notice subtle jabs, dismissive comments, or constant downplaying whenever they get the chance. And even when they’re “mature enough” to not show their insecurity to the world, you can still feel the silent suffering whenever you’re acknowledged or praised.


There are two main ways this plays out:

1. The guy gets loud and tries to socially dominate you and redirect the attention to himself. Like talk over you, interrupt you, one-up you and shit like this.

2. He goes quiet and sulks in the background.


If one of your friends has a girlfriend you know, you can almost guarantee the friendship will deteriorate because your very existence feels like a threat. You will suddenly be the source in their relationship problems now regarding trust, cheating and boundaries.


In college, I have many female friends, and whenever their boyfriends show up, I could feel them staring at me from across the room with hostility. And I know they want to break my skull open. If the gf interacts with a sub5 the boyfriend literally doesn't give a shit. At first I thought I was imagining it, since they didn’t even know me. But usually a couple of days later the girlfriend would mention that the boyfriend had, in fact, started bringing me up out of nowhere in a jealous way.


Even when the boyfriend wasn’t controlling or toxic, if we were all part of the same larger friend group with other guys, he would make sure to keep me specifically away from her and never invite me.

I know this is water and envy is extremely common but how do you all deal with this? I’ve been thinking about it because I have formed far more friendships with women than with guys in college. And it's much harder because even if I act nice they can't get over the initial negative bias.

Tldr pls

 

[AverageTevvezFan]

how do you all deal with this?

It’s not guaranteed that you can follow this advice, but ideally you would work on traits that gain male respect besides being attractive to women.

Including:
Being good at a certain skill/sport
Good height/frame/physique
Being NT and good at taking jokes/making fun of others

The guy gets loud and tries to socially dominate you

Shutting down guys who try to do that
And just being generally likeable, which is easier said than done.

But if it is a boyfriend of a girl you know, he will probably hate you anyway, even if you
would’ve been good friends otherwise.

 

[karmacita901]

idc they didn't like me before and were already doing most of that shit to me anyway.

 

[rawr]

Once you ascend, there’s a tradeoff: women like you for no reason, but men start disliking you by default. Many guys can’t stand the sight of another man getting attention especially when they aren’t getting any themselves.


The only male friendships I’ve managed to build or maintain are with guys who are either disconnected from the whole looks and dating hierarchy and aren't neurotypical. Those friends actually appreciate certain aspects of appearance and will hype you up without envy, because they are bluepilled.


But men who are aware of the value of looks will hate your guts. It's worse than female jealousy. They’ll ignore your positive traits, dismiss the attention you receive, and shit on your flaws to put you down. If they don’t know you yet, they’ll avoid you altogether or just dislike you on sight. If you happen to share a friend group, you’ll notice subtle jabs, dismissive comments, or constant downplaying whenever they get the chance. And even when they’re “mature enough” to not show their insecurity to the world, you can still feel the silent suffering whenever you’re acknowledged or praised.


There are two main ways this plays out:

1. The guy gets loud and tries to socially dominate you and redirect the attention to himself. Like talk over you, interrupt you, one-up you and shit like this.

2. He goes quiet and sulks in the background.


If one of your friends has a girlfriend you know, you can almost guarantee the friendship will deteriorate because your very existence feels like a threat. You will suddenly be the source in their relationship problems now regarding trust, cheating and boundaries.


In college, I have many female friends, and whenever their boyfriends show up, I could feel them staring at me from across the room with hostility. And I know they want to break my skull open. If the gf interacts with a sub5 the boyfriend literally doesn't give a shit. At first I thought I was imagining it, since they didn’t even know me. But usually a couple of days later the girlfriend would mention that the boyfriend had, in fact, started bringing me up out of nowhere in a jealous way.


Even when the boyfriend wasn’t controlling or toxic, if we were all part of the same larger friend group with other guys, he would make sure to keep me specifically away from her and never invite me.

I know this is water and envy is extremely common but how do you all deal with this? I’ve been thinking about it because I have formed far more friendships with women than with guys in college. And it's much harder because even if I act nice they can't get over the initial negative bias.

DNR but if you're taller men will be much more jealous and try to start fights especially if theyre insecure

 

[Squidwardmaxx]