Mentalceldom holding me back from taking what I want in life

[iblamemandible7]

What's up guys, normally on here I vent and complain about my life just to get it out of my system not really expecting any feedback, but just to throw something into the void, well today I am looking for help on how to approach this issue and would really appreciate it. I've never told anybody this so it'll probably sound weird asf but fuck it I need to fix this shit before it's too late.

I've had severe anxiety since I was around 6 years old, and over time it's built up and ruined my life more and more. It's not steady but it come in waves for me.

For example, 11-13 years old was the darkest point in my life because my anxiety held me back from talking/making friends/going out and I got severely depressed. 14-16 was much better, I started going to school and began overcoming my anxiety, but 16-now (17) my anxiety has taken back control. The 2 main things it centers around are my health and talking to people, I think the 1st is inherited from family and the 2nd is environmental from facing lookism.

I have a deep rooted fear of vomiting and some weird kind of OCD around it, so when I get anxious my stomach starts to hurt and I start to feel queasy and then I get more anxious, my anxiety and nausea feed each other until I basically have a panic attack. This has happened to me multiple times in public before and began from an extremely young age, coming in and out of my life, and at my current stage of life basically keeps me from doing shit I want to do in life. For example, I have a genuine fear of getting drunk or eating rare food and shit like that, I always have to keep nausea medication on me because it's something I genuinely think about always in the back of my head.

The problem is I'm going to need surgery to fix my life, zero question about that. I have super bad short face syndrome and need double jaw surgery. Going through with this would massively fix my quality of life. But my anxiety and fear holds me back from doing surgery, and now I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of hell where I know exactly what I need to do but have no means to do it. I live in a prison inside my own mind. I basically can't see any way to overcome this obstacle in my life and stop being a pussy, because I've been afraid for as long as I can remember. Afraid of the unknown, unfamiliar, etc. Can somebody help me figure out where to begin with fixing this shit so I can begin my true life?

 

[registerfasterusing]

What's up guys, normally on here I vent and complain about my life just to get it out of my system not really expecting any feedback, but just to throw something into the void, well today I am looking for help on how to approach this issue and would really appreciate it. I've never told anybody this so it'll probably sound weird asf but fuck it I need to fix this shit before it's too late.

I've had severe anxiety since I was around 6 years old, and over time it's built up and ruined my life more and more. It's not steady but it come in waves for me.

For example, 11-13 years old was the darkest point in my life because my anxiety held me back from talking/making friends/going out and I got severely depressed. 14-16 was much better, I started going to school and began overcoming my anxiety, but 16-now (17) my anxiety has taken back control. The 2 main things it centers around are my health and talking to people, I think the 1st is inherited from family and the 2nd is environmental from facing lookism.

I have a deep rooted fear of vomiting and some weird kind of OCD around it, so when I get anxious my stomach starts to hurt and I start to feel queasy and then I get more anxious, my anxiety and nausea feed each other until I basically have a panic attack. This has happened to me multiple times in public before and began from an extremely young age, coming in and out of my life, and at my current stage of life basically keeps me from doing shit I want to do in life. For example, I have a genuine fear of getting drunk or eating rare food and shit like that, I always have to keep nausea medication on me because it's something I genuinely think about always in the back of my head.

The problem is I'm going to need surgery to fix my life, zero question about that. I have super bad short face syndrome and need double jaw surgery. Going through with this would massively fix my quality of life. But my anxiety and fear holds me back from doing surgery, and now I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of hell where I know exactly what I need to do but have no means to do it. I live in a prison inside my own mind. I basically can't see any way to overcome this obstacle in my life and stop being a pussy, because I've been afraid for as long as I can remember. Afraid of the unknown, unfamiliar, etc. Can somebody help me figure out where to begin with fixing this shit so I can begin my true life?

Ive had ocd symptoms since age 6 (as early as I remember), diagnosed at 10. Like u, it was very bad in my early teens years, improved a bit, and now it’s very bad again.
I dont think theres rly a cure, except mayb for sm sort of pharmaceutical treatment. But then u would have to live on meds ur whole life so idk

 

[iblamemandible7]

Ive had ocd symptoms since age 6 (as early as I remember), diagnosed at 10. Like u, it was very bad in my early teens years, improved a bit, and now it’s very bad again.
I dont think theres rly a cure, except mayb for sm sort of pharmaceutical treatment. But then u would have to live on meds ur whole life so idk

Fuark man

I'm too pussy even to try meds, cuz what if they make me feel like shit or something

All I need tbh is to be low inhib enough for my surgeries

I think too much, literally 10x more than I should, about the possible risks and consequences of literally everything I do, I can't let go and I keep holding on to some weird thing that feels like it was implanted artificially in my brain, but my soul wants out

 

[registerfasterusing]

Fuark man

I'm too pussy even to try meds, cuz what if they make me feel like shit or something

All I need tbh is to be low inhib enough for my surgeries

I think too much, literally 10x more than I should, about the possible risks and consequences of literally everything I do, I can't let go and I keep holding on to some weird thing that feels like it was implanted artificially in my brain, but my soul wants out

Yeah idk i never tried meds either, my parents are against them

 

[iblamemandible7]

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[iblamemandible7]

Being a mentalcel is so brutal dude

I'm literally trapped by myself

How tf do you get out of a trap when it's set by yourself

 

[iblamemandible7]

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[iblamemandible7]

Over

 

[iblamemandible7]

b

 

[iblamemandible7]

I want this shit more than anything bro I want to cut away the part of me that worries about the future so I can js start sending it instead of sitting in the corner

 

[iblamemandible7]

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[iblamemandible7]

bump

 

[iblamemandible7]

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[iblamemandible7]

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[Foreverbrad]

If you don’t get the surgery your life will trainwreck and you will die of suicide anyway. What do you choose, the possibility of some complications, or certain death?