Met a girl with a rough past and it’s messing with my head

[zerotohero]

Met her last week after talking for a bit. We spent the whole day together. Walked around, had lunch, laughed a lot, kissed. It was my first time feeling something genuine like that. No games. Just real connection.

Since then we’ve been talking every day. She’s not just some random girl. She’s intense, thoughtful, sensitive. She’s been through a lot. Dealt with insecurity. Had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her dad’s been seriously ill. She carries emotional weight and it shows. Sometimes she pulls back and questions everything. Says I don’t really know her yet. That she’s scared to get close again. That maybe I’ll realize I deserve someone “easier.”

I try to stay calm. Steady. Present. I don’t act needy. I don’t overshare. But I open up enough to show her I’m not playing. That I actually care. She tells me I make her feel safe. But then her walls go up again. And I’m left overthinking everything.

I want this to work. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I don’t know if I should keep reassuring her or give her space. I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough.

Any of you been through something similar? How do you support a girl who’s still healing without falling into a validation loop?

Trying to play this right. Not chasing, not flaking. Just don’t want to fumble something that might be real.

 

[william.]

I think you should ask chatgpt

 

[Deleted member 161065]

DNR sexhaver.

 

[emeraldglass]

Bro, it’s over if you really think you’re gonna get real advice here.

But alright, what she’s doing right now is basically testing the waters, seeing if it’s safe or not. What you need to do is match her pace.

Don’t play the savior.

Just show her you’re grounded, emotionally present, but not desperate or reactive.

Stay solid. Stay true. Let her come closer at her own speed. But don’t abandon your center just to keep her from walking away.

 

[MANLETprettyBOY]

You take steps forward and backwards all
About balance and show her reassurances when needed

 

[Debetro]

Bro, it’s over if you really think you’re gonna get real advice here.

But alright, what she’s doing right now is basically testing the waters, seeing if it’s safe or not. What you need to do is match her pace.

Don’t play the savior.

Just show her you’re grounded, emotionally present, but not desperate or reactive.

Stay solid. Stay true. Let her come closer at her own speed. But don’t abandon your center just to keep her from walking away.

Are you a PUA coach per chance?

 

[emeraldglass]

Are you a PUA coach per chance?

psychologist

 

[der_komische]

I tell her stop being a little bitch

 

[Mainlander]

I tell her stop being a little bitch

Das

 

[stck6]

Met her last week after talking for a bit. We spent the whole day together. Walked around, had lunch, laughed a lot, kissed. It was my first time feeling something genuine like that. No games. Just real connection.

Since then we’ve been talking every day. She’s not just some random girl. She’s intense, thoughtful, sensitive. She’s been through a lot. Dealt with insecurity. Had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her dad’s been seriously ill. She carries emotional weight and it shows. Sometimes she pulls back and questions everything. Says I don’t really know her yet. That she’s scared to get close again. That maybe I’ll realize I deserve someone “easier.”

I try to stay calm. Steady. Present. I don’t act needy. I don’t overshare. But I open up enough to show her I’m not playing. That I actually care. She tells me I make her feel safe. But then her walls go up again. And I’m left overthinking everything.

I want this to work. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I don’t know if I should keep reassuring her or give her space. I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough.

Any of you been through something similar? How do you support a girl who’s still healing without falling into a validation loop?

Trying to play this right. Not chasing, not flaking. Just don’t want to fumble something that might be real.

Stay true and try to bond with her more so you can understand her more and more but don't show you're needy give her space

 

[tit]

Met her last week after talking for a bit. We spent the whole day together. Walked around, had lunch, laughed a lot, kissed. It was my first time feeling something genuine like that. No games. Just real connection.

Since then we’ve been talking every day. She’s not just some random girl. She’s intense, thoughtful, sensitive. She’s been through a lot. Dealt with insecurity. Had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her dad’s been seriously ill. She carries emotional weight and it shows. Sometimes she pulls back and questions everything. Says I don’t really know her yet. That she’s scared to get close again. That maybe I’ll realize I deserve someone “easier.”

I try to stay calm. Steady. Present. I don’t act needy. I don’t overshare. But I open up enough to show her I’m not playing. That I actually care. She tells me I make her feel safe. But then her walls go up again. And I’m left overthinking everything.

I want this to work. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I don’t know if I should keep reassuring her or give her space. I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough.

Any of you been through something similar? How do you support a girl who’s still healing without falling into a validation loop?

Trying to play this right. Not chasing, not flaking. Just don’t want to fumble something that might be real.

fuck you

 

[zerotohero]

fuck you

Why?

 

[tit]

Why?

You speak to women. How did you even find her? I have no idea how you have the courage to talk to women and the ratio of men to women in my area is horrible so fuck you.

 

[Corleone]

I'm surprised she's making it hard for you.

The easiest women I've been with all ended up having some traumatic stuff happen in their lives.

I've slept with women who later on told me:
- that their father died when they were young
- that their grandpa raped them for years when they were little
- they lived in assisted living facilities from 16+ because their parents didn't care enough about them
- that former boyfriends beat them
- she used to work as an escort to make money for some "lover-boy" when she was only around 16 years old

They all have bodycounts in their 50s by the time they turn 20, and have burnt all sexual bonding capabilities that would have been there had you slept with them earlier.

You can't save these women; even when they are nice genuine and loving to you one moment, they'll always look for male validation to numb their pain, and the moment you can't be there for them, be it because you're traveling or too occupied by work, they'll seek it from another guy.

 

[Corleone]

Ignoring her past will ruin your future.

 

[Proex]

Ignoring her past will ruin your future.
View attachment 3898709
View attachment 3898698

Caged

 

[tweaqo]

What country do u live in bro? Depends on the culture in your country.

Also how old ru and her?

 

[SubInfinityCreature]

just rape her till shes not retarded anymore

 

[Michelangelo]

Met her last week after talking for a bit. We spent the whole day together. Walked around, had lunch, laughed a lot, kissed. It was my first time feeling something genuine like that. No games. Just real connection.

Since then we’ve been talking every day. She’s not just some random girl. She’s intense, thoughtful, sensitive. She’s been through a lot. Dealt with insecurity. Had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her dad’s been seriously ill. She carries emotional weight and it shows. Sometimes she pulls back and questions everything. Says I don’t really know her yet. That she’s scared to get close again. That maybe I’ll realize I deserve someone “easier.”

I try to stay calm. Steady. Present. I don’t act needy. I don’t overshare. But I open up enough to show her I’m not playing. That I actually care. She tells me I make her feel safe. But then her walls go up again. And I’m left overthinking everything.

I want this to work. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I don’t know if I should keep reassuring her or give her space. I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough.

Any of you been through something similar? How do you support a girl who’s still healing without falling into a validation loop?

Trying to play this right. Not chasing, not flaking. Just don’t want to fumble something that might be real.

Idk im autistic, try this:

 

[Michelangelo]

Idk im autistic, try this:

This is supposed to be a playlist idk what happened, but there are many videos about what you are asking ig

 

[psychomandible]

I don't have advice but good luck and have fun

 

[zerotohero]

What country do u live in bro? Depends on the culture in your country.

Also how old ru and her?

Spain. I’m 24 and she’s 20.

 

[Vannen1234]

if you want this to work and not lose yourself in the process, hangout with her again and as soon as she does that bs tell her dis shit aint gon work cuh cause it messes with you and leave

never stress over a girl

 

[Corleone]

she’s 20.

what's her bodycount?

 

[autistic_tendencies]

You’re letting a foid get in your head
It’s over

 

[zerotohero]

what's her bodycount?

2.

 

[zerotohero]

@haramzada What?

 

[Vincent Freeman]

Are you a PUA coach per chance?

gonzalo liras stant account

 

[Foreverbrad]

I'm surprised she's making it hard for you.

The easiest women I've been with all ended up having some traumatic stuff happen in their lives.

I've slept with women who later on told me:
- that their father died when they were young
- that their grandpa raped them for years when they were little
- they lived in assisted living facilities from 16+ because their parents didn't care enough about them
- that former boyfriends beat them
- she used to work as an escort to make money for some "lover-boy" when she was only around 16 years old

They all have bodycounts in their 50s by the time they turn 20, and have burnt all sexual bonding capabilities that would have been there had you slept with them earlier.

You can't save these women; even when they are nice genuine and loving to you one moment, they'll always look for male validation to numb their pain, and the moment you can't be there for them, be it because you're traveling or too occupied by work, they'll seek it from another guy.

100%. Borderline personality disorder fits the description quite well.

 

[autistic_tendencies]

Most gen z women are , Anxious attachment

100%. Borderline personality disorder fits the description quite well.

 

[Deleted member 177801]

Met her last week after talking for a bit. We spent the whole day together. Walked around, had lunch, laughed a lot, kissed. It was my first time feeling something genuine like that. No games. Just real connection.

Since then we’ve been talking every day. She’s not just some random girl. She’s intense, thoughtful, sensitive. She’s been through a lot. Dealt with insecurity. Had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her dad’s been seriously ill. She carries emotional weight and it shows. Sometimes she pulls back and questions everything. Says I don’t really know her yet. That she’s scared to get close again. That maybe I’ll realize I deserve someone “easier.”

I try to stay calm. Steady. Present. I don’t act needy. I don’t overshare. But I open up enough to show her I’m not playing. That I actually care. She tells me I make her feel safe. But then her walls go up again. And I’m left overthinking everything.

I want this to work. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I don’t know if I should keep reassuring her or give her space. I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough.

Any of you been through something similar? How do you support a girl who’s still healing without falling into a validation loop?

Trying to play this right. Not chasing, not flaking. Just don’t want to fumble something that might be real.

take the idc pill

 

[BENPO]

i

Met her last week after talking for a bit. We spent the whole day together. Walked around, had lunch, laughed a lot, kissed. It was my first time feeling something genuine like that. No games. Just real connection.

Since then we’ve been talking every day. She’s not just some random girl. She’s intense, thoughtful, sensitive. She’s been through a lot. Dealt with insecurity. Had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her dad’s been seriously ill. She carries emotional weight and it shows. Sometimes she pulls back and questions everything. Says I don’t really know her yet. That she’s scared to get close again. That maybe I’ll realize I deserve someone “easier.”

I try to stay calm. Steady. Present. I don’t act needy. I don’t overshare. But I open up enough to show her I’m not playing. That I actually care. She tells me I make her feel safe. But then her walls go up again. And I’m left overthinking everything.

I want this to work. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I don’t know if I should keep reassuring her or give her space. I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough.

Any of you been through something similar? How do you support a girl who’s still healing without falling into a validation loop?

Trying to play this right. Not chasing, not flaking. Just don’t want to fumble something that might be real.

had this experience before, my dad ex is abuse, her mom is caring but still on her dad side, Here what i can say,

Its your choice, i repeat.
Its your choice.
Its your choise to keep her or not, ITS YOUR CHOISE. you know what bad about her, what good, i dont know, we all here dont know.

Ask yourself, is she really love me?.
these type of girl is kinda dangerous, Why? Because she can manipulate you, she can do whatever she want do to you, and she say, ITS BEACUSE MY PAST.

its really important to know youself more, so you dont lose yourself, dont rush.
if she want to keep distance to you, let her.
but still watch her, Is he want to keep distance because she want to act single? , i dont know, you dont know, only she know.

At the end its your choise, what i do in the past is, i breakup with her because i ask my self? is it really wort it? is god send this girl to get fix ? and god answear me, she just playing with me and never serius, she cheated. I dont know if u a beliver or not, but ask god. he know all the things that we dont know.