Lefty Rankin
Fire
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2023
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It's been eight and a half years since I've touched the stuff.
When I quit the flashbacks were pretty bad. For the first six months I would have these really terrible dreams where I'd be going through my routine. The routine was almost as good as the drug itself. I would always break off some shards and put them in a bottle cap. Then I'd fill my syringe halfway up with clean water and gently sqirt it out on top of the shards. Meth is 100% water soluble, so as you spray the shards they melt down. After the shards disappeared I would suck it all up into the syringe, being very careful not to touch the bottom of the bottle cap and blunt the needle. Then I'd fill the rest of the syringe up with air and shake it up for good measure. After all that I'd get the air out and release one droplet onto the tip of my tongue. I could always tell by the taste if I mixed it right to my preferred potency. Finally I'd find a vein and push off.
When having these dreams I'd get right to the point of where I was about to push off and I'd wake up covered in sweat. It's a horrible feeling thinking you were going to shoot up only to wake and realize it was all just a dream and there's no gear.
Anyways these dreams were a very frequent occurrence for the first six months after quitting cold turkey. I was a pretty hardcore user over a period of five years. Two years after quitting I stopped having those dreams completely. I've never gotten triggered since then.
Yesterday I was on YouTube and I watched a video where a vlogger interviewed a homeless tweaker. This interview happened to take place in one of the same exact areas I lived at when I used meth myself. Same streets and nothing has changed. I got triggered badly for the first time in six years. Its funny because looking at meth or paraphernalia doesn't do anything to me, but watching that guy's YouTube video yesterday brought forth a wave I've nostalgia. It hit me with a kick if adrenaline.
At this moment I've been awake for for 35 hours and am completely wired yet stone sober. I'm at work. Hopefully I can get some sleep between the time I get off and when I start my next shift 14 hours from now.
@BigJimsWornOutTires
@Ghost Philosophy
@Jason Voorhees
@Vermilioncore
@isis_Bleach
When I quit the flashbacks were pretty bad. For the first six months I would have these really terrible dreams where I'd be going through my routine. The routine was almost as good as the drug itself. I would always break off some shards and put them in a bottle cap. Then I'd fill my syringe halfway up with clean water and gently sqirt it out on top of the shards. Meth is 100% water soluble, so as you spray the shards they melt down. After the shards disappeared I would suck it all up into the syringe, being very careful not to touch the bottom of the bottle cap and blunt the needle. Then I'd fill the rest of the syringe up with air and shake it up for good measure. After all that I'd get the air out and release one droplet onto the tip of my tongue. I could always tell by the taste if I mixed it right to my preferred potency. Finally I'd find a vein and push off.
When having these dreams I'd get right to the point of where I was about to push off and I'd wake up covered in sweat. It's a horrible feeling thinking you were going to shoot up only to wake and realize it was all just a dream and there's no gear.
Anyways these dreams were a very frequent occurrence for the first six months after quitting cold turkey. I was a pretty hardcore user over a period of five years. Two years after quitting I stopped having those dreams completely. I've never gotten triggered since then.
Yesterday I was on YouTube and I watched a video where a vlogger interviewed a homeless tweaker. This interview happened to take place in one of the same exact areas I lived at when I used meth myself. Same streets and nothing has changed. I got triggered badly for the first time in six years. Its funny because looking at meth or paraphernalia doesn't do anything to me, but watching that guy's YouTube video yesterday brought forth a wave I've nostalgia. It hit me with a kick if adrenaline.
At this moment I've been awake for for 35 hours and am completely wired yet stone sober. I'm at work. Hopefully I can get some sleep between the time I get off and when I start my next shift 14 hours from now.
@BigJimsWornOutTires
@Ghost Philosophy
@Jason Voorhees
@Vermilioncore
@isis_Bleach
we need you to be racist and shitpost
