Allistic
Live fast, Die young
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Mirroring 101:
Introduction: If you have spent any amount of time interacting with people, you have undoubtedly noticed just how often people copy each other (inside jokes, mannerism, body language). Though this is often disregarded, it is one of the most important parts of sociability & making people relate you with feeling good.
Your brain is engineered and quite literally has specific neurons dedicated to this; you are designed to seek out positive social reassurance and your mind has many different ways to go about this. A major one being mimicking the way those around you act, whether you think this is a good or bad thing— it is unrevokably present in your subconscious. This is why it is important to be well versed in it, whether that’s limiting or pushing yourself towards it.
This is quite literally present in everyone, but the extent is different. Which is why if you struggle with it,reinforcement is needed
How can I use this to my advantage?
If you are relatively normal, this comes to you without even realizing and you will do it whether you choose to or not. Neurodivergency (a case for many on this forum) highly inhibits or over activates this, you may fail to mirror properly and in turn embarrass yourself, or seem too desperate to be liked by somebody else. In social dynamics there is oftentimes a balance of power, and this contributes to who will mimic who, or if it mutual. Common body language often goes unnoticed and will be a source of positive reinforcement for most (sitting with arms crossed, a more open body, or a more closed body). You should aim to have a 70/30% balance. 70% your own personality, 30% shared slang, energy, or gestures. NEVER copy goals, interests, or foundational goals. This is seen as a submission and may make the other individual look at you with less respect. If you fail to do any similar things though, you will be seen as caring less about the conversation. Subtle mirroring is the key to garnering respect from others, as you do not display a tentative need for approval from the other.
But how do I slay with this?
If a girl tells you a story with lots of joy and excitement, you must seem equally as excited, or slightly less. NEVER more— you do not want her to think you are weird or crazy. If you are going to recycle a word she used earlier, it must be done 5-10 minutes after to remain subtle and build that connection with her.
EXAMPLE: “This place is so hot, I wanna go home already”
RETARD: “It is really hot, I wish i was at home too”
IDEAL: “I don’t mind the party too much, but it is pretty hot.”
If you want to remain the rhythm and get the best results, it’s ideal to agree on one thing, but allow conversation to build over an unshared viewpoint, not total agreement
CONCLUSION: At the end of the day, doing this perfectly is close to impossible, but maintaining the power dynamic in conversation is extremely crucial.
IE. Maintain a 70/30 balance of your own opinions, it’s okay to disagree. Make sure to not seem like a total agreer or asshole (both extremes are unideal) If you are not the one in control during conversation, you will not be held in a high regard by anybody.
