ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
- 2,239
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Intrusive thoughts in the middle of the night, or randomly in the day. I miss him? He hurt me? But there was attention at least? Sometimes I get images or thoughts in my head of that hand pressing into my back, weight on me, feeling surrendered.
I think about it sometimes walking around, like 'what if that person would just...' am I broken or something? Is this just my sexuality now? I don't want to be defined by what happened to me. I get anxiety or panicky, and feel myself aroused too, at least physically, even if mentally it wasn't in my head at all.
The other day I was just walking and kinda stumbled. A guy that I didn't noticed behind me kinda grabbed my shoulder and said I should be careful. I froze and half shutdown, panicking, spent some time recovering myself, and realized I felt tingly down there and was aroused.
Why am I like this?
I think about it sometimes walking around, like 'what if that person would just...' am I broken or something? Is this just my sexuality now? I don't want to be defined by what happened to me. I get anxiety or panicky, and feel myself aroused too, at least physically, even if mentally it wasn't in my head at all.
The other day I was just walking and kinda stumbled. A guy that I didn't noticed behind me kinda grabbed my shoulder and said I should be careful. I froze and half shutdown, panicking, spent some time recovering myself, and realized I felt tingly down there and was aroused.
Why am I like this?
