ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
- 2,152
- Reputation
- 4,566
Background:
I was with my ex since high school and we were together for 7 years from 16-23. He was this big "alpha male" jock who always had to prove he was the manliest. He was especially proud of his dick which was a little over 8 inches long (he made me measure it). Great, right? Nope. His idea of good sex was jackhammering me for 10 minutes till he climaxed. Never went down on me. Never finished me off. Not once. I had to do it myself. The worst part? IT HURT. He wouldn't use lube and I was rarely wet enough so girls out there can imagine what kind of pain I was in. When he was extra rough, which was most of the time, he would take pride and see the fact that I can't walk properly the next day as a sign of a job well done.
But wait... There's more. We were also in an "open" relationship where it was only open on his end. Why did I agree to it? I was young and stupid. He'd have sex with multiple women and take pictures to show me. As you can guess, it was a very very abusive relationship. The icing on the cake was when I found out he sends our videos to his group chat for some sort of tribute thing I don't understand. I only found out when his 2 newer friends told me when they saw I was crying in one of the videos. They helped me get out and move a few states away. I still keep in contact with those two via email every now and then and I'll be eternally grateful to those two.
The issue:
After almost 2 years of therapy dealing with the aftermath of the abusive relationship, I was finally over my ex and decided to date again. I was working as a waitress one night and found a guy who was apparently stood up by his blind date. Don't know why, he was cute! He talked to me during my breaks and waited for my shift to end. We ended up having burgers after and we've been together ever since.
My boyfriend is the opposite of my ex. Typical introvert like me. He's also significantly smaller than my ex (probably less than 6 inches) BUT is infinitely better. My boyfriend can actually make me orgasm and for the first time, I actually enjoy having sex and it doesn't cause me pain and oral actually goes both ways. He's so, so much better than my ex at sex. He knows about my abusive ex btw. We had a long discussion about it when we talked about each other's past and he actually cried for me.
We've been together for over a year now and after my lease expired 2 months ago, I moved in with him. It's been great so far and the move has only made us closer. We've been so happy up until about a week ago when he started acting distant. We're usually very affectionate towards one another but every time I initiated something, sexual or otherwise, he would turn me down. Every time I asked him what was wrong he would just say it wasn't me, it was him. He's been really sad lately so yesterday I decided to actually confront him and he spilled the beans.
Apparently, my ex found out about him and got his Facebook profile. My ex, being the douchebag that he is, sent my boyfriend a couple of our videos and a picture of his junk and said "I'm pretty sure what you have can't satisfy her like this one can".
My boyfriend said he felt insecure and emasculated. Like he wasn't enough and how much better my ex was. How small he felt after seeing my ex. He said it didn't help that my ex was bigger and more muscular than he was. He said that it was his problem that he was insecure and he needed to figure it out on his own. I tried telling him how much better he was than my ex (which is definitely not a lie) but he wouldn't listen to me. He's sleeping on the couch right now.
Now I don't know what I can do. I don't want to lose a good thing cause of my stupid ex. And yes, before you suggest it I already plan on contacting a lawyer. That's not the main issue here.
Why won't my boyfriend listen to me? Why won't he understand that I'm with him for a reason? Why doesn't he believe me when I say that he's better than my ex? Why doesn't he listen to me when I say size doesn't matter? What can I do to fix this? I miss cuddling with my lovable nerd. I can actually see us getting married in the future so I definitely want to fix this.
Any advice please?
I was with my ex since high school and we were together for 7 years from 16-23. He was this big "alpha male" jock who always had to prove he was the manliest. He was especially proud of his dick which was a little over 8 inches long (he made me measure it). Great, right? Nope. His idea of good sex was jackhammering me for 10 minutes till he climaxed. Never went down on me. Never finished me off. Not once. I had to do it myself. The worst part? IT HURT. He wouldn't use lube and I was rarely wet enough so girls out there can imagine what kind of pain I was in. When he was extra rough, which was most of the time, he would take pride and see the fact that I can't walk properly the next day as a sign of a job well done.
But wait... There's more. We were also in an "open" relationship where it was only open on his end. Why did I agree to it? I was young and stupid. He'd have sex with multiple women and take pictures to show me. As you can guess, it was a very very abusive relationship. The icing on the cake was when I found out he sends our videos to his group chat for some sort of tribute thing I don't understand. I only found out when his 2 newer friends told me when they saw I was crying in one of the videos. They helped me get out and move a few states away. I still keep in contact with those two via email every now and then and I'll be eternally grateful to those two.
The issue:
After almost 2 years of therapy dealing with the aftermath of the abusive relationship, I was finally over my ex and decided to date again. I was working as a waitress one night and found a guy who was apparently stood up by his blind date. Don't know why, he was cute! He talked to me during my breaks and waited for my shift to end. We ended up having burgers after and we've been together ever since.
My boyfriend is the opposite of my ex. Typical introvert like me. He's also significantly smaller than my ex (probably less than 6 inches) BUT is infinitely better. My boyfriend can actually make me orgasm and for the first time, I actually enjoy having sex and it doesn't cause me pain and oral actually goes both ways. He's so, so much better than my ex at sex. He knows about my abusive ex btw. We had a long discussion about it when we talked about each other's past and he actually cried for me.
We've been together for over a year now and after my lease expired 2 months ago, I moved in with him. It's been great so far and the move has only made us closer. We've been so happy up until about a week ago when he started acting distant. We're usually very affectionate towards one another but every time I initiated something, sexual or otherwise, he would turn me down. Every time I asked him what was wrong he would just say it wasn't me, it was him. He's been really sad lately so yesterday I decided to actually confront him and he spilled the beans.
Apparently, my ex found out about him and got his Facebook profile. My ex, being the douchebag that he is, sent my boyfriend a couple of our videos and a picture of his junk and said "I'm pretty sure what you have can't satisfy her like this one can".
My boyfriend said he felt insecure and emasculated. Like he wasn't enough and how much better my ex was. How small he felt after seeing my ex. He said it didn't help that my ex was bigger and more muscular than he was. He said that it was his problem that he was insecure and he needed to figure it out on his own. I tried telling him how much better he was than my ex (which is definitely not a lie) but he wouldn't listen to me. He's sleeping on the couch right now.
Now I don't know what I can do. I don't want to lose a good thing cause of my stupid ex. And yes, before you suggest it I already plan on contacting a lawyer. That's not the main issue here.
Why won't my boyfriend listen to me? Why won't he understand that I'm with him for a reason? Why doesn't he believe me when I say that he's better than my ex? Why doesn't he listen to me when I say size doesn't matter? What can I do to fix this? I miss cuddling with my lovable nerd. I can actually see us getting married in the future so I definitely want to fix this.
Any advice please?
