My Cold Approach Guide (Social Anxietycels GTFIH)

hayden_sub5

hayden_sub5

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As someone who struggled with social anxiety and being high inhib, cold approaches used to be something that heavily affected my success with women. Whether your mtn or CL the sad truth is you have to do the approaching. Your never gonna have Stacies coming up to you no matter how attractive you are. This is something clav said in a thread a while back. I had no clue what to say or how to start a conversation so I found myself just not able to talk period. But over time I developed this skill up to the point I haven’t even gotten soft rejected in over a year and half. If you are guilty of being in my position, then this is the guide I follow when talking to women on a daily-weekly basis.

Great cold approaching lies in three parts.

  • the initiation.
  • the convo.
  • The follow up.

Phase 1: the initiation

This one is the big jump that most people are afraid of taking. The terrifying idea of walking up to a girl you don’t know or who is with her friends. The first step that is optional to make you redeem some level of confidence to approach would be making eye contact with the girl. Walk a path in which she has to see you or look at you. At this point smile at her, to see if she reciprocates any interest. For me, you can tell within these few seconds whether you will be successful in getting her. Other than this when approaching directly, make sure these things are in check:

  • maintain a high posture. Even if she’s short don’t lean over when speaking or getting her attention.
  • Speak with depth. Many guys speak softly because they’re afraid of people hearing them approach a girl but you should do the opposite. Speak with depth in your tone to show your confidence in the belief that you can secure the girl. You want to come off as someone with a lack in social anxiety and self doubt.
  • Be expressive and show interest. When she’s talking don’t let your eyes wander and keep eye contact with her and gesture in ways that show interest and enjoyment to the conversation like nodding, smiling, or raising eyebrows out of curiosity. This shows that you’re not just looking to get laid. whether that’s your goal or not, you shouldn’t make it apparent early if you want any chance of it.
To have good cold approaching skills you should practice these simple yet effective confidence cues I stated. A practice for this would be to compliment 1-3 people (male or female) on something random daily. This gets you used to speaking to someone in spontaneous situations. This could be complimenting a dudes jersey because you like the team or letting a girl know her hair looks good. There doesn’t have to be a follow up, the most important factor is getting the conversation started which most people don’t.

Phase 2: The Convo

This is usually the make or break for most people. Because even for those who have the balls to talk to a girl, often struggle to maintain the conversation past the initial stage.

  • I usually start the conversation with something respectful like “excuse me” or “I don’t mean to bother you but…” these come off much more inviting and opening than an abrupt “hey”.
  • From here you can go a few places but I’d recommend going to the compliment. For me, this would sound something like “I hope I’m not interrupting but whenever you were passing I thought you were pretty cute, and thought it would it be a shame if I didn’t come up and say hi,” this is the easiest part of the convo because the girl will likely be flattered and very enthusiastic given they’re interested. But from this point you get into the tragic awkward phase.
This is the phase in which most people loose their chance because they get far to awkward or boring which leads to you or the woman disbanding the conversation all together. For me the best way to avoid this is to write out and memorize 2-3 conversation leaders if you need something to talk about. Think of conversation starters that can branch off into other conversation and not just end upon her answer.



✅ Where are you from/Are you from around here

❌ What’s your favorite (blank). If they can single word response it then it’s probably not a good convo starter lol.

✅ ask for advice. ex: “do you know any good pizza spots around here, I’m starving”

❌ What do you like to do? (Way to broad)

✅ “What have you been up to today?” When she says what she’s been doing you can use one of the things she’s done to start a conversation ex: “oh i went to the grocery store, and then I’ve just been sitting around since then.” Responce: “oh I love shopping for myself, i also like to cook for myself”. See how you can segway into other conversation based on the initial starter.

❌ making the compliment the conversation. Ex: “hey my names Jack, I just wanted to say your very pretty” this comes off as simping and to much to most girls. Still to saying short compliments like you think they’re cute or pretty, leave out the overexcited “your gorgeous/beautiful” it’s far to intimate for a first convo.

Phase 3: Follow Up

Once you’ve talked for a while and got to know each other a little you can get to looking at the future and what your motives are. If you want to just get with the girl than a simple yet implicit question id probably a good bet. Something like “im leaving soon would you want to come with me” or whatever seems to be most convenient to the situation, this one really varies.

Or if you like the girl and would rather pursue a relationship/future with her you can always just do the simple “could I get your number/snap and we could go out sometime” this one is far more full proof and much less bold than asking a girl to leave with you.

———————————————————
Now using this guide you can learn how to successfully secure dates or slays with girls no matter your rating, and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
 
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Sorry buddy I'm a 3-3.5/10. Won't work
 
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1752098279725
 
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hayden_sub5 said:
As someone who struggled with social anxiety and being high inhib, cold approaches used to be something that heavily affected my success with women. Whether your mtn or CL the sad truth is you have to do the approaching. Your never gonna have Stacies coming up to you no matter how attractive you are. This is something clav said in a thread a while back. I had no clue what to say or how to start a conversation so I found myself just not able to talk period. But over time I developed this skill up to the point I haven’t even gotten soft rejected in over a year and half. If you are guilty of being in my position, then this is the guide I follow when talking to women on a daily-weekly basis.

Great cold approaching lies in three parts.

  • the initiation.
  • the convo.
  • The follow up.

Phase 1: the initiation

This one is the big jump that most people are afraid of taking. The terrifying idea of walking up to a girl you don’t know or who is with her friends. The first step that is optional to make you redeem some level of confidence to approach would be making eye contact with the girl. Walk a path in which she has to see you or look at you. At this point smile at her, to see if she reciprocates any interest. For me, you can tell within these few seconds whether you will be successful in getting her. Other than this when approaching directly, make sure these things are in check:

  • maintain a high posture. Even if she’s short don’t lean over when speaking or getting her attention.
  • Speak with depth. Many guys speak softly because they’re afraid of people hearing them approach a girl but you should do the opposite. Speak with depth in your tone to show your confidence in the belief that you can secure the girl. You want to come off as someone with a lack in social anxiety and self doubt.
  • Be expressive and show interest. When she’s talking don’t let your eyes wander and keep eye contact with her and gesture in ways that show interest and enjoyment to the conversation like nodding, smiling, or raising eyebrows out of curiosity. This shows that you’re not just looking to get laid. whether that’s your goal or not, you shouldn’t make it apparent early if you want any chance of it.
To have good cold approaching skills you should practice these simple yet effective confidence cues I stated. A practice for this would be to compliment 1-3 people (male or female) on something random daily. This gets you used to speaking to someone in spontaneous situations. This could be complimenting a dudes jersey because you like the team or letting a girl know her hair looks good. There doesn’t have to be a follow up, the most important factor is getting the conversation started which most people don’t.

Phase 2: The Convo

This is usually the make or break for most people. Because even for those who have the balls to talk to a girl, often struggle to maintain the conversation past the initial stage.

  • I usually start the conversation with something respectful like “excuse me” or “I don’t mean to bother you but…” these come off much more inviting and opening than an abrupt “hey”.
  • From here you can go a few places but I’d recommend going to the compliment. For me, this would sound something like “I hope I’m not interrupting but whenever you were passing I thought you were pretty cute, and thought it would it be a shame if I didn’t come up and say hi,” this is the easiest part of the convo because the girl will likely be flattered and very enthusiastic given they’re interested. But from this point you get into the tragic awkward phase.
This is the phase in which most people loose their chance because they get far to awkward or boring which leads to you or the woman disbanding the conversation all together. For me the best way to avoid this is to write out and memorize 2-3 conversation leaders if you need something to talk about. Think of conversation starters that can branch off into other conversation and not just end upon her answer.



✅ Where are you from/Are you from around here

❌ What’s your favorite (blank). If they can single word response it then it’s probably not a good convo starter lol.

✅ ask for advice. ex: “do you know any good pizza spots around here, I’m starving”

❌ What do you like to do? (Way to broad)

✅ “What have you been up to today?” When she says what she’s been doing you can use one of the things she’s done to start a conversation ex: “oh i went to the grocery store, and then I’ve just been sitting around since then.” Responce: “oh I love shopping for myself, i also like to cook for myself”. See how you can segway into other conversation based on the initial starter.

❌ making the compliment the conversation. Ex: “hey my names Jack, I just wanted to say your very pretty” this comes off as simping and to much to most girls. Still to saying short compliments like you think they’re cute or pretty, leave out the overexcited “your gorgeous/beautiful” it’s far to intimate for a first convo.

Phase 3: Follow Up

Once you’ve talked for a while and got to know each other a little you can get to looking at the future and what your motives are. If you want to just get with the girl than a simple yet implicit question id probably a good bet. Something like “im leaving soon would you want to come with me” or whatever seems to be most convenient to the situation, this one really varies.

Or if you like the girl and would rather pursue a relationship/future with her you can always just do the simple “could I get your number/snap and we could go out sometime” this one is far more full proof and much less bold than asking a girl to leave with you.

———————————————————
Now using this guide you can learn how to successfully secure dates or slays with girls no matter your rating, and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
Click to expand...
Bump
 
Dude am I back in school or something? What's up with all the fucking letters
 
  • +1
Reactions: mekato
hayden_sub5 said:
and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
Click to expand...
i regret this almost every day i gotta start

and i think im low inhib too how do we figure that out btw
 
Last edited:
tortalover said:
i regret this almost every day i gotta start

and i think im low inhib too how do we figure that out btw
Click to expand...
Yeah you just have to follow this guide and have faith in yourself which I previously stated. You can’t be quiet, timid, or appear like you care. And what are you referring to “how do we figure that out btw?” Like your inhib?
 
  • +1
Reactions: tortalover
hayden_sub5 said:
Yeah you just have to follow this guide and have faith in yourself which I previously stated. You can’t be quiet, timid, or appear like you care. And what are you referring to “how do we figure that out btw?” Like your inhib?
Click to expand...
yes my inhib
 
hayden_sub5 said:
As someone who struggled with social anxiety and being high inhib, cold approaches used to be something that heavily affected my success with women. Whether your mtn or CL the sad truth is you have to do the approaching. Your never gonna have Stacies coming up to you no matter how attractive you are. This is something clav said in a thread a while back. I had no clue what to say or how to start a conversation so I found myself just not able to talk period. But over time I developed this skill up to the point I haven’t even gotten soft rejected in over a year and half. If you are guilty of being in my position, then this is the guide I follow when talking to women on a daily-weekly basis.

Great cold approaching lies in three parts.

  • the initiation.
  • the convo.
  • The follow up.

Phase 1: the initiation

This one is the big jump that most people are afraid of taking. The terrifying idea of walking up to a girl you don’t know or who is with her friends. The first step that is optional to make you redeem some level of confidence to approach would be making eye contact with the girl. Walk a path in which she has to see you or look at you. At this point smile at her, to see if she reciprocates any interest. For me, you can tell within these few seconds whether you will be successful in getting her. Other than this when approaching directly, make sure these things are in check:

  • maintain a high posture. Even if she’s short don’t lean over when speaking or getting her attention.
  • Speak with depth. Many guys speak softly because they’re afraid of people hearing them approach a girl but you should do the opposite. Speak with depth in your tone to show your confidence in the belief that you can secure the girl. You want to come off as someone with a lack in social anxiety and self doubt.
  • Be expressive and show interest. When she’s talking don’t let your eyes wander and keep eye contact with her and gesture in ways that show interest and enjoyment to the conversation like nodding, smiling, or raising eyebrows out of curiosity. This shows that you’re not just looking to get laid. whether that’s your goal or not, you shouldn’t make it apparent early if you want any chance of it.
To have good cold approaching skills you should practice these simple yet effective confidence cues I stated. A practice for this would be to compliment 1-3 people (male or female) on something random daily. This gets you used to speaking to someone in spontaneous situations. This could be complimenting a dudes jersey because you like the team or letting a girl know her hair looks good. There doesn’t have to be a follow up, the most important factor is getting the conversation started which most people don’t.

Phase 2: The Convo

This is usually the make or break for most people. Because even for those who have the balls to talk to a girl, often struggle to maintain the conversation past the initial stage.

  • I usually start the conversation with something respectful like “excuse me” or “I don’t mean to bother you but…” these come off much more inviting and opening than an abrupt “hey”.
  • From here you can go a few places but I’d recommend going to the compliment. For me, this would sound something like “I hope I’m not interrupting but whenever you were passing I thought you were pretty cute, and thought it would it be a shame if I didn’t come up and say hi,” this is the easiest part of the convo because the girl will likely be flattered and very enthusiastic given they’re interested. But from this point you get into the tragic awkward phase.
This is the phase in which most people loose their chance because they get far to awkward or boring which leads to you or the woman disbanding the conversation all together. For me the best way to avoid this is to write out and memorize 2-3 conversation leaders if you need something to talk about. Think of conversation starters that can branch off into other conversation and not just end upon her answer.



✅ Where are you from/Are you from around here

❌ What’s your favorite (blank). If they can single word response it then it’s probably not a good convo starter lol.

✅ ask for advice. ex: “do you know any good pizza spots around here, I’m starving”

❌ What do you like to do? (Way to broad)

✅ “What have you been up to today?” When she says what she’s been doing you can use one of the things she’s done to start a conversation ex: “oh i went to the grocery store, and then I’ve just been sitting around since then.” Responce: “oh I love shopping for myself, i also like to cook for myself”. See how you can segway into other conversation based on the initial starter.

❌ making the compliment the conversation. Ex: “hey my names Jack, I just wanted to say your very pretty” this comes off as simping and to much to most girls. Still to saying short compliments like you think they’re cute or pretty, leave out the overexcited “your gorgeous/beautiful” it’s far to intimate for a first convo.

Phase 3: Follow Up

Once you’ve talked for a while and got to know each other a little you can get to looking at the future and what your motives are. If you want to just get with the girl than a simple yet implicit question id probably a good bet. Something like “im leaving soon would you want to come with me” or whatever seems to be most convenient to the situation, this one really varies.

Or if you like the girl and would rather pursue a relationship/future with her you can always just do the simple “could I get your number/snap and we could go out sometime” this one is far more full proof and much less bold than asking a girl to leave with you.

———————————————————
Now using this guide you can learn how to successfully secure dates or slays with girls no matter your rating, and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
Click to expand...
only do it as htn+
 
“Just approach bro”

IMG 6445
 
  • JFL
Reactions: hayden_sub5
Good that i dont have social anxiety
 
Great cold approaching lies in one part:

  • Be good looking.
 
ascension said:
Great cold approaching lies in one part:

  • Be good looking.
Click to expand...
Good looking or not you have to be able to talk to women. If your a goober no woman will take you seriously
 
  • +1
Reactions: Sayonara
hayden_sub5 said:
Good looking or not you have to be able to talk to women. If your a goober no woman will take you seriously
Click to expand...

What if you never get the opportunity to talk to them because they look at your face and then refuse to even look at you? 🤔
 
ascension said:
What if you never get the opportunity to talk to them because they look at your face and then refuse to even look at you? 🤔
Click to expand...
Thankfully never happened me (hmtn-lhtn) but I have friends I’d consider low to mid mtn that have had good success with some pretty attractive women based on game
 
hayden_sub5 said:
As someone who struggled with social anxiety and being high inhib, cold approaches used to be something that heavily affected my success with women. Whether your mtn or CL the sad truth is you have to do the approaching. Your never gonna have Stacies coming up to you no matter how attractive you are. This is something clav said in a thread a while back. I had no clue what to say or how to start a conversation so I found myself just not able to talk period. But over time I developed this skill up to the point I haven’t even gotten soft rejected in over a year and half. If you are guilty of being in my position, then this is the guide I follow when talking to women on a daily-weekly basis.

Great cold approaching lies in three parts.

  • the initiation.
  • the convo.
  • The follow up.

Phase 1: the initiation

This one is the big jump that most people are afraid of taking. The terrifying idea of walking up to a girl you don’t know or who is with her friends. The first step that is optional to make you redeem some level of confidence to approach would be making eye contact with the girl. Walk a path in which she has to see you or look at you. At this point smile at her, to see if she reciprocates any interest. For me, you can tell within these few seconds whether you will be successful in getting her. Other than this when approaching directly, make sure these things are in check:

  • maintain a high posture. Even if she’s short don’t lean over when speaking or getting her attention.
  • Speak with depth. Many guys speak softly because they’re afraid of people hearing them approach a girl but you should do the opposite. Speak with depth in your tone to show your confidence in the belief that you can secure the girl. You want to come off as someone with a lack in social anxiety and self doubt.
  • Be expressive and show interest. When she’s talking don’t let your eyes wander and keep eye contact with her and gesture in ways that show interest and enjoyment to the conversation like nodding, smiling, or raising eyebrows out of curiosity. This shows that you’re not just looking to get laid. whether that’s your goal or not, you shouldn’t make it apparent early if you want any chance of it.
To have good cold approaching skills you should practice these simple yet effective confidence cues I stated. A practice for this would be to compliment 1-3 people (male or female) on something random daily. This gets you used to speaking to someone in spontaneous situations. This could be complimenting a dudes jersey because you like the team or letting a girl know her hair looks good. There doesn’t have to be a follow up, the most important factor is getting the conversation started which most people don’t.

Phase 2: The Convo

This is usually the make or break for most people. Because even for those who have the balls to talk to a girl, often struggle to maintain the conversation past the initial stage.

  • I usually start the conversation with something respectful like “excuse me” or “I don’t mean to bother you but…” these come off much more inviting and opening than an abrupt “hey”.
  • From here you can go a few places but I’d recommend going to the compliment. For me, this would sound something like “I hope I’m not interrupting but whenever you were passing I thought you were pretty cute, and thought it would it be a shame if I didn’t come up and say hi,” this is the easiest part of the convo because the girl will likely be flattered and very enthusiastic given they’re interested. But from this point you get into the tragic awkward phase.
This is the phase in which most people loose their chance because they get far to awkward or boring which leads to you or the woman disbanding the conversation all together. For me the best way to avoid this is to write out and memorize 2-3 conversation leaders if you need something to talk about. Think of conversation starters that can branch off into other conversation and not just end upon her answer.



✅ Where are you from/Are you from around here

❌ What’s your favorite (blank). If they can single word response it then it’s probably not a good convo starter lol.

✅ ask for advice. ex: “do you know any good pizza spots around here, I’m starving”

❌ What do you like to do? (Way to broad)

✅ “What have you been up to today?” When she says what she’s been doing you can use one of the things she’s done to start a conversation ex: “oh i went to the grocery store, and then I’ve just been sitting around since then.” Responce: “oh I love shopping for myself, i also like to cook for myself”. See how you can segway into other conversation based on the initial starter.

❌ making the compliment the conversation. Ex: “hey my names Jack, I just wanted to say your very pretty” this comes off as simping and to much to most girls. Still to saying short compliments like you think they’re cute or pretty, leave out the overexcited “your gorgeous/beautiful” it’s far to intimate for a first convo.

Phase 3: Follow Up

Once you’ve talked for a while and got to know each other a little you can get to looking at the future and what your motives are. If you want to just get with the girl than a simple yet implicit question id probably a good bet. Something like “im leaving soon would you want to come with me” or whatever seems to be most convenient to the situation, this one really varies.

Or if you like the girl and would rather pursue a relationship/future with her you can always just do the simple “could I get your number/snap and we could go out sometime” this one is far more full proof and much less bold than asking a girl to leave with you.

———————————————————
Now using this guide you can learn how to successfully secure dates or slays with girls no matter your rating, and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
Click to expand...
Vodka phenibut or ldar
 
hayden_sub5 said:
———
Click to expand...
as a cold approacher myself who only ever goes after Chinese girls as a non native; i can confirm if you fluster them in the first five seconds it’s SO much easier to get a convo in
 
PumpkinCrane823 said:
as a cold approacher myself who only ever goes after Chinese girls as a non native; i can confirm if you fluster them in the first five seconds it’s SO much easier to get a convo in
Click to expand...
exactly most mfers just start with “can I get your number/snap” or have someone go approach the girl for them jfl
 
hayden_sub5 said:
exactly most mfers just start with “can I get your number/snap” or have someone go approach the girl for them jfl
Click to expand...
nigga I learnt two whole ass languages so I could approach girls bc my social anxiety is so bad in English JFL but yeah these tards don’t even know how to hold a decent conversation like at least ask what’s she’s doing
 
PumpkinCrane823 said:
nigga I learnt two whole ass languages so I could approach girls bc my social anxiety is so bad in English JFL but yeah these tards don’t even know how to hold a decent conversation like at least ask what’s she’s doing
Click to expand...
Exactly lol I used to be such a loser and assume women would approach me if they liked me. Now I approach girls who I don’t even make eye contact with me and have success. It’s so independent on your ability to execute a convo
 
hayden_sub5 said:
Exactly lol I used to be such a loser and assume women would approach me if they liked me. Now I approach girls who I don’t even make eye contact with me and have success. It’s so independent on your ability to execute a convo
Click to expand...
Women haven’t tgot time for you lmao it’s that simple. Not an offensive thing or anything but for any graces reading this, if someone is out; they are doing something. You have to be the one to stop them.
 
PumpkinCrane823 said:
Women haven’t tgot time for you lmao it’s that simple. Not an offensive thing or anything but for any graces reading this, if someone is out; they are doing something. You have to be the one to stop them.
Click to expand...
Harsh truth pill lmao
 
PumpkinCrane823 said:
Women haven’t tgot time for you lmao it’s that simple. Not an offensive thing or anything but for any graces reading this, if someone is out; they are doing something. You have to be the one to stop them.
Click to expand...
EXACTLY. Girls aren’t gonna make eye contact with you and smile, ect. They’ll glance and think “oh he’s cute” and go on
 
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