hayden_sub5
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As someone who struggled with social anxiety and being high inhib, cold approaches used to be something that heavily affected my success with women. Whether your mtn or CL the sad truth is you have to do the approaching. Your never gonna have Stacies coming up to you no matter how attractive you are. This is something clav said in a thread a while back. I had no clue what to say or how to start a conversation so I found myself just not able to talk period. But over time I developed this skill up to the point I haven’t even gotten soft rejected in over a year and half. If you are guilty of being in my position, then this is the guide I follow when talking to women on a daily-weekly basis.
Great cold approaching lies in three parts.
Phase 1: the initiation
This one is the big jump that most people are afraid of taking. The terrifying idea of walking up to a girl you don’t know or who is with her friends. The first step that is optional to make you redeem some level of confidence to approach would be making eye contact with the girl. Walk a path in which she has to see you or look at you. At this point smile at her, to see if she reciprocates any interest. For me, you can tell within these few seconds whether you will be successful in getting her. Other than this when approaching directly, make sure these things are in check:
Phase 2: The Convo
This is usually the make or break for most people. Because even for those who have the balls to talk to a girl, often struggle to maintain the conversation past the initial stage.
Where are you from/Are you from around here
What’s your favorite (blank). If they can single word response it then it’s probably not a good convo starter lol.
ask for advice. ex: “do you know any good pizza spots around here, I’m starving”
What do you like to do? (Way to broad)
“What have you been up to today?” When she says what she’s been doing you can use one of the things she’s done to start a conversation ex: “oh i went to the grocery store, and then I’ve just been sitting around since then.” Responce: “oh I love shopping for myself, i also like to cook for myself”. See how you can segway into other conversation based on the initial starter.
making the compliment the conversation. Ex: “hey my names Jack, I just wanted to say your very pretty” this comes off as simping and to much to most girls. Still to saying short compliments like you think they’re cute or pretty, leave out the overexcited “your gorgeous/beautiful” it’s far to intimate for a first convo.
Phase 3: Follow Up
Once you’ve talked for a while and got to know each other a little you can get to looking at the future and what your motives are. If you want to just get with the girl than a simple yet implicit question id probably a good bet. Something like “im leaving soon would you want to come with me” or whatever seems to be most convenient to the situation, this one really varies.
Or if you like the girl and would rather pursue a relationship/future with her you can always just do the simple “could I get your number/snap and we could go out sometime” this one is far more full proof and much less bold than asking a girl to leave with you.
———————————————————
Now using this guide you can learn how to successfully secure dates or slays with girls no matter your rating, and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
Great cold approaching lies in three parts.
- the initiation.
- the convo.
- The follow up.
Phase 1: the initiation
This one is the big jump that most people are afraid of taking. The terrifying idea of walking up to a girl you don’t know or who is with her friends. The first step that is optional to make you redeem some level of confidence to approach would be making eye contact with the girl. Walk a path in which she has to see you or look at you. At this point smile at her, to see if she reciprocates any interest. For me, you can tell within these few seconds whether you will be successful in getting her. Other than this when approaching directly, make sure these things are in check:
- maintain a high posture. Even if she’s short don’t lean over when speaking or getting her attention.
- Speak with depth. Many guys speak softly because they’re afraid of people hearing them approach a girl but you should do the opposite. Speak with depth in your tone to show your confidence in the belief that you can secure the girl. You want to come off as someone with a lack in social anxiety and self doubt.
- Be expressive and show interest. When she’s talking don’t let your eyes wander and keep eye contact with her and gesture in ways that show interest and enjoyment to the conversation like nodding, smiling, or raising eyebrows out of curiosity. This shows that you’re not just looking to get laid. whether that’s your goal or not, you shouldn’t make it apparent early if you want any chance of it.
Phase 2: The Convo
This is usually the make or break for most people. Because even for those who have the balls to talk to a girl, often struggle to maintain the conversation past the initial stage.
- I usually start the conversation with something respectful like “excuse me” or “I don’t mean to bother you but…” these come off much more inviting and opening than an abrupt “hey”.
- From here you can go a few places but I’d recommend going to the compliment. For me, this would sound something like “I hope I’m not interrupting but whenever you were passing I thought you were pretty cute, and thought it would it be a shame if I didn’t come up and say hi,” this is the easiest part of the convo because the girl will likely be flattered and very enthusiastic given they’re interested. But from this point you get into the tragic awkward phase.
Where are you from/Are you from around here What’s your favorite (blank). If they can single word response it then it’s probably not a good convo starter lol. ask for advice. ex: “do you know any good pizza spots around here, I’m starving” What do you like to do? (Way to broad) “What have you been up to today?” When she says what she’s been doing you can use one of the things she’s done to start a conversation ex: “oh i went to the grocery store, and then I’ve just been sitting around since then.” Responce: “oh I love shopping for myself, i also like to cook for myself”. See how you can segway into other conversation based on the initial starter. making the compliment the conversation. Ex: “hey my names Jack, I just wanted to say your very pretty” this comes off as simping and to much to most girls. Still to saying short compliments like you think they’re cute or pretty, leave out the overexcited “your gorgeous/beautiful” it’s far to intimate for a first convo. Phase 3: Follow Up
Once you’ve talked for a while and got to know each other a little you can get to looking at the future and what your motives are. If you want to just get with the girl than a simple yet implicit question id probably a good bet. Something like “im leaving soon would you want to come with me” or whatever seems to be most convenient to the situation, this one really varies.
Or if you like the girl and would rather pursue a relationship/future with her you can always just do the simple “could I get your number/snap and we could go out sometime” this one is far more full proof and much less bold than asking a girl to leave with you.
———————————————————
Now using this guide you can learn how to successfully secure dates or slays with girls no matter your rating, and not go home regretting that you didn’t talk to that pretty girl. I’ve been using these pointers for countless success on my current beach vacation and back home. Wishing all my high inhib autist boys luck to slay the day away.
